How to handle the nosy people?

I'm now 11 weeks post-op and down 76 lbs, so there's no denying my weight loss. Most of my co-workers know that I had WLS, but now I'm getting the questions. How much have you lost? How much do you want to lose? And then the really ballsy ones are asking How much did you weigh before surgery? I don't know how to handle these questions. I've never liked a lot of attention. I try to be gracious, but honestly, it just makes me uncomfortable. Any suggestions on how to handle this better?

I would say, "Thank you so much for noticing.  I think those questions are a bit too personal, but I appreciate your support."

That sounds great, Bernice. Thank you!

congrats on doing so well brandi! awesome. i would say what bernice said.

 Thanks, Nicole! 

I just tell them.  No problem there.

As far as the question about how much before surgery - I'm proud to announce it because I'll never be that heavy again.

Since I honestly answer the questions they may have - and here's a ballsy one for you that I get - "do you have those rolls?  or excess skin?" - some coworkers are entertaining the thought of having it done.

When I used to not answer the questions, they bothered me more, it was like they thought if they asked the same question differently, this time they'd have an answer.

There are 3 RNYers in our building, and I'm the only Lapbander - so we get the questions.  My boss and I don't mind answering them.

After all, fear is there because there's a lack of knowledge or experience, and for those who were fearful are armed with a little bit of knowledge to help them decide where they want to go.

Although it's a personal health journey for all of us, it's a journey for everyone close to us, be it family or coworkers or friends.  Those people just may be our support, have our backs when we need it, or actually come through just when you need it.

For example, one day I forgot my lunch - and a coworker offered me her cheese.   This woman quizzed me about what I could or couldn't eat and knew I could have cheese.  That was so sweet of her. 

congrats on the great loss!

hmmm I tend to be open and beat folks to the punch but if you don't want to discuss it you could say  'I'm not at liberty to discuss it at this time".  leaves it open for later on if you change your mind.


Asking how much you lost is one thing....
asking what you weighed... "well a gentleman (or gentlewoman) NEVER asks a lady her age or weight....  or you could say  "more than I do now".

but then I tend to diffuse things with humor...

Hi Brandi,

Love your new Avatar!!!  

I remember going through this constantly. It was a bit uncomfortable for me at first. I know people sometimes have no cut cards and some questions can sting really hard. 

But I just answered the questions and sometimes when I felt that I didn't need to be detailed I just wasn't.  You have gotten great advise so I just want to say that it will get easier for you with time.
It doesn't bother me anymore when I get the 101 questions.  I just proudly answer them now.

By the way you are doing fantastic and I am so proud of you!!

Hugs,
Cira

It's weird, you go through stages. First few months, I was uncomfortable with the complements and the questions. Then, for a year or so, I didn't care either way. I told everyone about my WLS and what I'd lost and what I weighed.

2 years and some months parst now, it's even weirder when I get asked. I don't want to atribute it all to the WLS because I have worked my butt off these past few months. I still haven't learned the perfect way to answer those questions. If you find one, let me know :)

Also, congratulations on the awesome job!!!

Brandi, Love the new avatar. I can see a great change. CONGRATULATIONS!!!! As for the nosy people I would hold my head up and be proud. I would then tell them this a very private sensitive matter. I would also say when I feel like talking about it you will be at the top of my list. Then say thanks for noticing.


                                                                                                    Julie