1,095 days and counting

On October 3, 2009, I had my Three Year Surgiversary. YAY, go me! The day passed just like any other day and I did not even realize it had been three years until later that evening. My how things change year by year! At the end of my first year, I had been counting the months I was post-op and the pounds and ounces lost! Year Two saw something similar but with not as much ‘vim and vigor’ as Year One had seen. At this point, I was a lot more comfortable in my new lifestyle and not as much was new with me. It had become an accepted part of my everyday life and less of a big deal as it had been during the first 365 days. Then we move onto Year Three and all the things that happened to me during that time. More big changes internally and externally. Among other things, my dad passed away one month before my two year, I moved into my own little ‘dollhouse’ right before having my LBL, gained a permanent furry houseguest who stole my heart and I ‘found’ about twenty pounds that I had previously ‘lost’….give or take a few! Somewhere between Year Two and Year Three, something else happened. I finally accepted myself (95%) for who I am even with the ‘give or take a few’. I gained most of the weight back because of not exercising after the LBL and forgetting to change my eating habits back to my lifestyle before running and exercising like a maniac as I had been. DUH! Ah well, I am human after all and found that once the LBL was done, the weight found me again, and I settled into my own life. I am not obese; I am still in all the same sizes. I did not have to buy a new bigger wardrobe thankfully! I think if I can take off 5 to 10 pounds I will find that other 5% of happy with myself but if not….hey, we all have to have SOMETHING about ourselves to pick on! LOL We spend so much time counting, measuring, freaking ou****ching, etc. that sometimes we tend to forget to really and truly enjoy what gift we have given ourselves, our children, our spouses, etc. Now…I will tell you my one ‘positive’ to gaining a little weight…..my boobs are nice and full again! I know…TMI but let’s face it…empty tube sock boobies are not sexy! I was just fortunate enough to gain back in that area! LOL No, I am NOT advocating gaining weight …just stating what has happened to me and giving it a positive spin FOR ME.

 

A very dear friend of mine calls us Mutants and I love it! LOL We do have ‘mutant’ tummies now and even though we are forever changed, parts of us still stays the same. I have changed a lot over the last three years and when I reflect back on Heather Versions 2006 through 2009 I see what I was and where I have become. At my largest, I weighed 311 pounds. At my smallest, I was under 150 pounds but still FELT 311. Funny how gaining my ‘give or take’ I also GAINED a real perspective of my true self and found that I can stand on my own and be happy and content. I do have a lot more confidence but still sometimes, I have none. No matter how many years I am post-op, I will always be a ‘work in progress’. Aren’t we all? Of course I have my moments of OMG I AM SO HUGE but those are fewer now than they were. I have gained the ability to really SEE food for what it is and can see that I DO have control. Even when I feel I do not have control because I ate five peanut butter cups in under three hours the reality is that I would have eaten five peanut butter cups in under five minutes then moved on to the Snickers, Milky Way AND Butterfinger all before lunchtime. Now one of my favorite things to do is to throw food away. People think I’m nuts and it’s a waste of money but it helps me continue to see my control over food, not the other way around. I still have a sweet tooth and I love to bake. What do I do now? I bake a cake, cut myself a small piece off the cake and then I give the rest away or I throw it in the trash. FOR ME, it has all come down to self-control and this works for me. At least 90% of my eating habits are healthy and good. That 10% can sometimes kick me but I’m OK with it because of that 90%. Before WLS, the scales (literally and figuratively) were flipped the other way. I took control and have kept it for three years. My occasional ‘screw-ups’ are not screw-ups. They are and have been life lessons and I chose to learn from those life lessons and change them to move forward productively. I enjoy food again. I enjoy baking, cooking, and experimenting with new dishes and ingredients. I love being back in the kitchen again and creating….here’s the difference…Instead of being a cross between Julia Child and Jabba the Hut, I am now a cross between Nigella Lawson and Marilyn Monroe!

 

My point of this rather long post? (Forgive me but for anyone who knows me…I occasionally have a lot to say! LOL) My point is to show Newbies and pre-op and post-op people that things pretty much go back to ‘normal’ by the third year. You give yourself a huge gift in having this surgery. Use your tool wisely and fully. Exercise, eat right and love yourself first. I cannot stress exercise enough. Eating right, being educated about WLS and having a good healthy attitude are not enough. Without exercise, you run a huge risk of gaining that dreaded ‘normal’ twenty and then some! If I had this to do all over again would I do the RNY? I would say 90% yes (that other 10% is for another time and a different post) but I would have incorporated exercise from Day One and never stopped. At Three Years I can still take off the added poundage BUT it does not come off as quickly or as easy as Year One or Two. It took me over a month to take of eight pounds where before eight pounds came off overnight. Be good to yourself, listen and learn. Be proud of yourself no matter what and when you feel yourself ‘falling off the wagon’ pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get back up there again. Never quit. No matter what and take everything you learn in the beginning and use it every day of your life. It does help you in the long run. I promise.

 

Thanks for reading. Have a great, wonderful and happy day!

Heather -

I'm glad to see you're doing well, despite the hurdles that you've had to endure.

I've said if often - "If I knew then what I know now........"

Tia

Tia,

We all have hurdles.  That which does not kill us only makes us stronger, right? I think you are a very strong woman and you are right.....knowing is learning and growing and changing and shifting.....

~Heather

I have to say your success has been an inspiration for me. You are living your life, whi*****ludes those detours along the way. I agree with you about exercise. For me, it's not just for weight loss but for peace of mind. It really helps me feel less anxiety throughout the day and I just feel better about myself overall.

Hope to see you on the board more!!

Nicole

Thanks Nicole,
A little older, a little wiser and more at peace after shedding a whole person! Exercise is the key to continued success for anyone who loses weight. I feel more relaxed after running a few miles...just me and my iPod is all it takes. Funny how 'all it took' before for me to relax was a few beers or wine, a very large steak and a slab of chocolate cake! LOL Little did I know....

~Heather

Wow, Happy third year surgeriversary to you. This was a very honest and heartfelt post. I congratulate you on all you have accomplished. I am sure you have had your ups and downs but you have made it. Like any other diet we must stay on top of it be it a diet or a diet tool to have success. Congratulations and I love to cook and trash and cook and give away.

                                                                                               Julie

AWW Thanks Julie! I felt that I wanted to share with 100% honesty where I've been and where I am now. There's nothing wrong with falling as long as you know you are strong enough to get back up and do it again. We all have that ability....sometimes it just takes awhile to see it in ourselves. I love peanut butter cups....and chocolate peanut butter cup ice cream. I allow that in my life occasionally and I satisfy that craving and I'm done. Big huge differences from pre-op. My lifestyle changes allow me to have these occasional treats as long as I keep the exercise in my daily life.

B****he people at work and my neighbor LOVE my baking/give away theory! LOL They are all very happy and willing to take these things off my hands! 

~Heather

Heather - it'sgood to "see" you posting.  I think it's important for newbies to get the perspective of those further out!

Continued success to you!
Heather

Thanks Heather! 

I think it's important too, that's why I did it. I'm sure my perspective on my own WLS will change again in another three years. Weightloss is a continuing journey...even when you reach goal..I think that's when the real journey begins.

~Heather

Welcome back honey!!! I am glad your doing well. (((Hugs)))