UPDATE From Yesterday's Appt
Well in my last 10 day rampage I manage to do no damage to myself. THANK THE LORD! They were not at all concerend about my band slipping and reminded me that many people go through what I am going through. And I lost 2lbs since my last visit - slower than usual but considering what I've been going through since my first fill it's surprising it moved downward at all.
My progress is still above what they expect from a band patients so far. They say 1-2 lbs a week and mine has average about 3.5.
He was very pleased with my upfront and honest approach to my relationship with food and the issues I am encountering. I would say 30% is food issues themselves - wanting to over eat and not make the best choices all the time and then 70% my behavior just not being able to change how I eat cold turkey. I was reminded that behavior doesn't change over night and that I should not be so hard on myself.
Knowing my personality it's not wonder I find it difficult paying attention when I eat. I am always go go go hurry hurry hurry in everything my life and food is no different. This is something I have to work keep working when it comes to eating so that I make time to chew and and slow down.
Each time I go to the office even if I felt like crap on the way, I always feel mentally better when I leave. They let me talk and ask as many questions and get on my level. Many people in the office are banded so they can discuss one on one experiences with me. The emphasize the door is always open and to pick up the phone no matter if it is 10 times a day! This is what I like about this practice and choosing to go out of network with them I believe will be more of contributing factor to my long term success. I'm not just another patient with an appointment but a familiar face that they truly want to see always improving.
I did get another fill which I am hoping I can handle better this time meaning that I start learning what restriction is be more diligent of my tool. I went from 2.0cc to 3.2. This process again wasn't very pleasant. My port is very hard to find because of my tummy chub but I refuse to wimp out and not keep moving forward with the fills.
I recognize the problems and the issues which I guess is the most important in taking the right steps but I always have to reinforce in my mind what works for me right now and not what works for others or what others think I should be doing. In my previous posts I mentioned normal and this is what I mean by being normal and participating like anyone else. A perfect example for me is friends going out to dinner or a work event that involved food. This is a problem for me that I am fully aware of. I do much better when not faced with making those decisions right now. As much as I want to join for the company of others, I am not at the point where the mental aspect has changed enough for me in being able to do it without any reprocussions on my end (not making the best choice food wise, not eating to fast, not getting stuck or pb-ing) The better choice for me is to say thanks but no thanks, and that is taking care of me! If people are behind me, they will understand that right now, a group dinner outing just doesn't work for me and hopefully it is something I can work towards.
Although I am fighting a nasty sinus cold, I am feeling better today. I packed all my liquids and even found a liquid protein that I am happy with. I'm hoping that tonight's therapy session will address a few issues and hope it gets me started on the mental end and that I can get back on track once I'm back on solids on Sunday. Everyday is a learning process for me!
My progress is still above what they expect from a band patients so far. They say 1-2 lbs a week and mine has average about 3.5.
He was very pleased with my upfront and honest approach to my relationship with food and the issues I am encountering. I would say 30% is food issues themselves - wanting to over eat and not make the best choices all the time and then 70% my behavior just not being able to change how I eat cold turkey. I was reminded that behavior doesn't change over night and that I should not be so hard on myself.
Knowing my personality it's not wonder I find it difficult paying attention when I eat. I am always go go go hurry hurry hurry in everything my life and food is no different. This is something I have to work keep working when it comes to eating so that I make time to chew and and slow down.
Each time I go to the office even if I felt like crap on the way, I always feel mentally better when I leave. They let me talk and ask as many questions and get on my level. Many people in the office are banded so they can discuss one on one experiences with me. The emphasize the door is always open and to pick up the phone no matter if it is 10 times a day! This is what I like about this practice and choosing to go out of network with them I believe will be more of contributing factor to my long term success. I'm not just another patient with an appointment but a familiar face that they truly want to see always improving.
I did get another fill which I am hoping I can handle better this time meaning that I start learning what restriction is be more diligent of my tool. I went from 2.0cc to 3.2. This process again wasn't very pleasant. My port is very hard to find because of my tummy chub but I refuse to wimp out and not keep moving forward with the fills.
I recognize the problems and the issues which I guess is the most important in taking the right steps but I always have to reinforce in my mind what works for me right now and not what works for others or what others think I should be doing. In my previous posts I mentioned normal and this is what I mean by being normal and participating like anyone else. A perfect example for me is friends going out to dinner or a work event that involved food. This is a problem for me that I am fully aware of. I do much better when not faced with making those decisions right now. As much as I want to join for the company of others, I am not at the point where the mental aspect has changed enough for me in being able to do it without any reprocussions on my end (not making the best choice food wise, not eating to fast, not getting stuck or pb-ing) The better choice for me is to say thanks but no thanks, and that is taking care of me! If people are behind me, they will understand that right now, a group dinner outing just doesn't work for me and hopefully it is something I can work towards.
Although I am fighting a nasty sinus cold, I am feeling better today. I packed all my liquids and even found a liquid protein that I am happy with. I'm hoping that tonight's therapy session will address a few issues and hope it gets me started on the mental end and that I can get back on track once I'm back on solids on Sunday. Everyday is a learning process for me!
Nikki,
I am so glad that you have an excellent doctor and staff that will be there for you. I am so glad that you are doing what is right for you. Keep plugging away girl you are doing great, right now all you have to do is believe in yourself. ((((((hugs)))))))
I am so glad that you have an excellent doctor and staff that will be there for you. I am so glad that you are doing what is right for you. Keep plugging away girl you are doing great, right now all you have to do is believe in yourself. ((((((hugs)))))))
I am who I am and accept my feelings wholeheartedly.
Those that mind don't matter, and those that matter don't mind.
Cira 249/144.0 current/goal 154/ 5'3" 10 lbs below my Dr's goal
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