Giggles for the Day - Enjoy

I mean no offense to the blondes, brunettes, red heads, etc.  Just some smirkies here today.  Have a great day!

CAR TROUBLE:

A blond pushes her BMW into a gas station.  She tells the mechanic it died.  After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.  She says, "What's the story?"  He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor."  She asks, "How often do I do that?"

SPEEDING TICKET:  (This one is dedicated to Tia because of her job)

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.  She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together.  Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

RIVER WALK:

There's this blonde out for a walk.  She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank.  "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"  The second blonde looks up the river and then down the river and shouts back...

"You ARE on the other side!"

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE:

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.  "Impossible!" says the doctor, "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed.
then she pushed her elbow, and screamed even more.
then she pushed her knee and screamed;
likewise, she pushed her ankle and screamed. 
Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?"
"Well, no," she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," said the doctor........

"Your finger is broken."

KNITTING:

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.  Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!

Realizing she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"

"NO!" the blonde yelled back, ......

"IT'S A SCARF!"

BLONDE ON THE SUN

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. 
The Russian said, "We were first in space!"
The American said, "We were first on the moon!"
The Blonde said, "So what?  We're going to be first on the sun!"

The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.

"You can't land on the sun, you idiot!  You'll burn up!" said the Russian.

To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know.  We are going at night!"

IN A VACUUM:

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night.  It was her turn.  She rolled the dice and landed on Science & Nature.  Her question was, "if you are in a vacuum, and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"

She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"


DOGS:  (Dedicated to all of our dog lovers!)

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.  The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and the one was named Timex.  Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"

"HELLLOOOOOO....., " answered the blonde.  "They are watch dogs!"

Good morning Candy!

Blonde or not, I loved them all.   I hadn't seen the Watch Dogs before, but need to remember that one :)   Of course, I am the blonde whose car broke down many years ago on the way home from work, I got a ride home, then proceded to call the police to tell them it was my car and what I was going to do about it .. when the dispatcher asked me which side of the road (as in north or southbound), my response was .. the direction I was headed in!   Mr Mo often had trouble living down some of my blonde moments around town!

Have a wonderful Tuesday