A Question for the Moms

Do you think that a 14 year old girl who is somewhat educationally challenged should be allowed to stay at home by herself?  I think this is a problem for my roommate that may have her thinking about moving out.  Hubby and I think that she's too young to be at home by herself.  Her mom doesn't think so.

Not a Mom but IMHO its your house:  she should respect your wishes

you know I was pretty much a latch key kid growing up so staying at home by myself at 9 or 10 years old wasn't out of the question but that definitely was a different time back then and a different area.......

And look what happened!!!  You were so bored, you rubbed all your hair off!!

Candy,

If she is emotionally challenged and out of fear that something may happen while she is at home alone then "NO" she should not be permitted to stay at home alone. 
And since the mom is your roommate and is residing in your home she should abide by your wishes and not leave the child alone. ((JMO))

My son is 9 and he stays home for about 45 to 50 mins alone in the morning until it is time for him to leave for school. He is getting telephone calls every 15 mins form either myself or my hubby and we are both less than 10 mins from home @ work and he has the dog watching him like a hawk and an alarm system that he knows how to to work and how to set the panic button off.

It is not against the law In Maryland, so a child can legally stay home at the age of eight. However, if there are other siblings in the house who are not of legal age, someone at least thirteen years old has to be present to supervise. So you couldn't legally leave a nine year old to watch over a six year old.

Because the failure to adhere to these laws could result in neglect charges, it's important to be aware of  both state or county's laws before leaving a child home alone, no matter how mature or responsible that child may be. There are a lot of factors that should be considered before leaving a child home alone. Emotional maturity must be taken into consideration and if she is emotionally challenged than she is in no position/condition to stay home alone under no cir****tances. However, just because a child is legally able to be home alone doesn't necessarily mean he or she should.

~Danielle~

You've gotten good advice, and although I'm a non-Mom, you know how much I love KB and how much I watch over them.

Regardless of what anyone thinks - and there are a lot of variables going on - it's your house, your rules.  And.....you and Jerry would likely be held liable should something happen.

Hugs,

T

I honestly believe that the girl has never really had good discipline, doesn't listen well, and she's got some major self esteem issues that she would most likely try anything just to have friends.  She doesn't respect boundaries while we are at home, so that leaves me thinking that if we are not at home, does that mean she'll respect them at that point? 

Hubby and I are concerned for her safety.  I'd hate to come home to a burning townhouse just because she wanted boiled eggs.  I'd also hate to come home and find out that she had people over that could have helped themselves to furniture and electronics then, or in the future as a cased joint.    I could be overreacting or having a crazy imagination and stuff like this doesn't really happen in real life.

My friend, you've answered your own question.  And the mother must respect that - or get out.  You were kind enough to allow them to move in, and I know it helped both parties, but honestly.....if she can't respect your wishes and fails to see your point of view, she's not a very good friend, is she?

girl child is very very immature for her age.   what we started doing at about 12 was leaving her alone for 15 minutes at at ime with detailed written instructions (don't open the door for anyone, no one in the house, no cooking etc),   then we moved up to 30 minutes, eventually an hour etc... 

now at 17 we are finally comfortable leaving her alone for extended periods of time.

If your roommate wants to leave her child home alone in your home, what assurances will she give you that no harm will come to your home?

sadly for you guys,  she is the mom and it's ultimately her decision how she chooses to parent her child.  BUT you have the right to insure the safety of your home.

I have a 13 year old daughter.  I do allow her  to stay home by herself -- but I agree with Tia that you have answered your own questions.  I do not fear that she will do the things that you mentioned (inviting the wrong people over, fire hazards, etc.) I trust her completely and she knows that if she breaks that trust -- it's all over for her.   She also knows that NO ONE is allowed in our home if Mom, Dad and older brother are not home.  I set up her boundaries and she knows to follow them.  It does not appear from reading your e-mail that your roomate has set boundaries or put the proper stop gaps in place for her 14 year old.  Good luck!