Please tell me I am not insane

Ok so I had my initial consultation in April of 2008 and I finally have a surgery date for December 15th.  The waiting around is really playing with my head.  I'll try to lay it out for you all so you can tell me I am not going crazy

My PCP mentioned WLS to me years ago - and I struggled with the notion that if I could do all of the things that were required post op - I wouldn't need the surgery.  Five years later and a whole bunch of nasty comorbidities - particularly diabetes that every two years or so decides that the treatment de jure doesn't work any more, and I came around to the point that this is what I need to do for myself and started the journey.

That journey took a long time - as you all no doubt know - a whole bunch of medical issues needed to be addressed and explored.  During that time, I discovered these boards.  Manna sent from the heavens.  I can remember a day thumbing through before and after pictures nearly in tears - the thought that this could actually happen to me became much more real.  Not only that but I've learned so much from you all simply by lurking.  I feel as prepared to make this "Leap of faith" in to my new life as I think I have ever been

But all of this time.  I read about someone saying they weren't afraid to have something go wrong during the surgery because they weren't leading much of a life as an obese person.  I think - but I enjoy my life, I love spending time with my wife and kids - I just want to improve it.  I begin to worry that this won't work for me.  Or - I think my biggest fear - is that it will work for me and three years out I'll gain it all back.

And I know the answer to all of these things  - in my head.  I have a support system in place.  I have ideas about where to go if I begin to struggle.  I am committed to making this work for me - I just think it's all the time I have to think about all of the changes in the future.

Ok vets - tell me you've been there and it's going to be ok.

I'm not a "vet", but I know what you're going through. My husband, for the longest time, told me I could lose weight without the surgery.  It made me doubt my willpower and strength even if I did have surgery. I've been obese nearly my entire life, except for a very short period in the first couple years of my life. I'm 31 years old now. It's time for something drastic to happen. Maybe it will work, maybe it won't. But I damn sure know that the chances are so much better with this tool. No one wants to fail. We all have that fear. Having a support system is really the best thing.  No one can predict the future. You just have to do your best and reaching your goals will be within your grasp.

Thank you for your encouraging words.  I do consider all of this a leap of faith - as we don't know what the future holds.

Best of luck to you tomorrow - may the begining of your journey be smooth.

You are not insane:  It took be 5 years to make the final decision to have RNY -

Its a major lifestyle change -  and I would do it again with no hesitation.

I feel I had no life prior to my rny -  in the last two years I have PARASAILED, TRAVELED,
and RIDDEN ROLLAR COASTERS -  all of which I would never have done preop.

I'm a much more outgoing person as well:  I'm off all meds I was on preop.
Exercise became my " Transfer addiction".  My life is 1000 times better
then it was preop.

I've been where you are and so have many others on the board - trust me You will be fine. 

 

 

Hey sweetie...........what you are feeling is so NORMAL!!! I promise you. I was there 10 months ago. I thought I was gonna die in surgery even though I knew my surgeon had done almost 1000 of these surgeries and never lost ONE person I still thought I could be the ONE. I wrote letters to my hubby and kids telling them how I did this to be healthier and be around longer for them. I told Mike not to open any of them unless something happened to me. Luckily they never needed to open them.

And as for gaining it back..............once you get that tool.........it will guide you! It really will but if you tamper with that tool you can gain back the weight as many have. You  have to keep yourself FOCUSED on NOT GOING BACK!!! YOU CAN DO IT and support is a wonderful thing to have. I look at shopping and eating 100% different since surgery as you will too so with that in your mindset and steady daily activity in your life YOU WILL DO AMAZING!!! You let me know if you ever need any help. Your family will be so PROUD OF YOU!!!!!

YOU WILL BE OKAY!!! ;o)

You are not crazy! I made the decision very fast and was able to get approved and all that jazz within 6 months. I was never afraid of dying during surgery and the last 2 years haven't all been rainbows and effing unicorns.

But, I wouldn't change it for anything. The surgery gave me my life back. Even though I loved spending time with my husband, puppy, friends and family, I wasn't enjoying my life. And, I couldn't be a good wife, a good friend, if I was inherently unhappy with myself and my life.

I am not at my surgeon's goal weight for me, and I am about 6 lbs away from my own goal. but, you know what? I like myself again. I love who I am and what I see in the mirror. I love that I was able to canoe around a lake with ym husband without dying; that I hiked 7+ miles and only got slightly winded.

In the last 2 years, I haven't only lost weight; every now and then I gained a couple lbs. Jst yesterday, I overate at Cracker Barrel and was very uncomfortable for an hour or so. I still don't know how to read my body's signs and miscalculate how much to eat. I still eat too fast sometimes and regret it later. Event the vets don't know it all.

It's such a learning experience; no 2 people's journeys are the same, yet we all have some similarities to share.

Good luck and keep us updated throughout your journey.

Thank you so much everyone.  I needed to hear your words and wisdom.  Most of all I needed some perspective - it's hard being inside this head of mine sometimes

Probaly won't be the last time I need a sanity check between now and 12/15 - glad to know you're all out there

Hi Russel,

Isn't it wonderful to find people that can relate with what you are feeling?  I am so glad that you found this place to help you through this very exciting journey that you are about to begin. 

I was researching for a couple years before I came to the conclusion of having this surgery to change my health.  I wanted to be able to be healthy for my husband and children.  I had diabetes, sleep apnea arthritis that was diagnosed when I was 8 years old. I also suffered from severe migraines. 

I was excited for the most part to have the surgery but one day searching through OH I found some information that got me really scared.  I began to double guess my decision.  I cried a lot and prayed that God would guide me through the right path.  I wrote letters to my husband and children and asked that my husband would not open then unless something happened to me. 

Let me tell you, having this surgery was the best thing I ever did for "me" and my family.  I am 2 1/2 years out and maintaining. One thing I have learned about having this tool is that you have to work it after your honeymoon phase is done.  It is a learning process and if you stick to your surgeon's program you will be successful.  It is not an easy journey but it is worth it.

Remember to not compare yourself to others. We share a lot of similarities but our weight loss is an individual process.  Always believe in yourself and know that you can do this.
Make sure to journal your journey and take lots of pics because the changes will be happening quickly and the way to really see it is through pictures. Measure your body and see those inches disappearing it is an awesome experience!

Take care and know that we are all here for you.

Best wishes!

Cira