My 4th of July weekend

We had a blast at Knoebels. Even with getting caught in 2 downpours we so enjoyed our day. When my girls looked at me on the way out of the park and said "thanks, Nana...for bringing us here" I felt so grateful for the time I spend with them.

My son loves his girls deeply and misses them so much but when they come for visitation he just doesn't know how to be an involved father. He enjoys cuddling and watching movies with them but just doesn't get out there and really play with them. It makes me feel so bad that I guess I try to make up for it. I know I cannot change him but it just does get to me. He almost acts like he is afraid when the girls come up and I am not going to be there. I cannot pretend to understand but I do kind of remember being a little like that when my kids were little. I really didn't have the energy then and I really don't have it now but now I force myself for their sake.

Sorry...just needed to get that out somewhere. I have to be very careful about what I post on my Alanon boards now as I have found out that ex dil reads it and was not very happy with something I posted a couple of months ago. I wasn't shocked but I did find out for sure that she was keeping tabs on my son through my postings. How sad.

Anyway, didn't mean to bring anyone down here with me but just needed to post where I am.

Gail,

I can't even imagine the pain you feel as a grandparent for these children.

Is your son receptive to new ideas about how to interact with his kids? 

Gail I love that park we have had good times there. I am so happy your gkids have you. I can tell you are a good Gmom. Sory about your sons ex. Sounds like a pain in the butt .I need to go back to Alanon myself. Its ok to let it all go we all need to or else we would be twice as crazy...Take care and know that you are doing the best and its for the kids..

                                                                                                                             Julie

Awww, sweetie, NEVER apologize for venting - that's what friends are for.

As much as I love my Dad, he was never very hands-on, in part because he worked shift work, but when we were with him, he never knew what to DO with us!!

I'm sure your son feels some angst, too, and perhaps his girls do "scare" him, and maybe, deep down, he feels like he's a failure as a father.  I'm not sure, other than offering the platitude of therapy, what could help him.

Just know that we're here for you AND yours!! 

Hugs & love,

T

Gail,
Your post didn't make me feel sad....this is life - for better or for worse.
Tell me about Knoebels.  This is the 2nd time I've heard about this place this week!  Its a camping place - right?
E

it's an amusement park/campground

www.knoebels.com/

we love it!

doable as a LONG day trip from B-more

hey Gail

My dad had 2 daughters. I am the older and I was raised almost like  boy. In India, I had way more freedom than any other girls. So, really, my dad didn't know what to do with "girls" either. I don't think fathers ever do. It sounds like he tries his best and you are helping.

As TIA said, don't apologize for venting, because uhh you'll set a bad precedent and I don't know how many apologies I'll have to make.

<<>>

Glad the girls had a wonderful time.  Girl no need to apologize you can vent anytime...

Wishing you all the best with this entire situation.

(((((hugs))))))

Gail - I'm glad you had a great time with your girls!  What a special time in your life! 

As we discussed at the beach, my husband has many of the same traits as your son.  From what I gather, he's never really been a hands on father, but it's obviously been worse since he and his ex split up.  I think it was easier when they were younger because he could take them to the park and they'd go to town on the swings, slides, and monkey bars.  Now that they are getting older, he's content to sit in front of the TV with them...just so long as they are doing it together.  I wish he'd do more physical things with them and I think once he gets a job, we're going to buy bikes for everyone so that we can ride the Cross Island Trails on Kent Island.  I definitely think it's harder for fathers with girls!!  Hang in there!

Don't worry about what you do or don't post here.  We're all here for each other in good times and bad!

Love ya!
Heather

Gail,  Dad's are sometimes funny when their daughters are little, but as they get older, he will adjust!  I can tell you one thing I know for sure, there is nothing better in this world than a loving Nana. It sounds like your granddaughter's are very lucky.  Leslie:)