OT: So depressed about work.

Boy I'm depressed lately, but it's not because of not being approved for surgery yet, it's because of work. I'm finding it almost impossible to stay at my job even though it's an office job and doesn't involve much activity, but at almost 400 lbs I can barely sit up longer than an hour without needing to lie down, and my weight is taking a toll on my back, feet, and well...everything. I'm sure I have Sleep Apnea which keeps me exhausted. It's hard to even drive the car I had when I was 150 lbs smaller, because the wheel hits my stomach. So even driving the 40 minutes to work is difficult.
My attitude is bad too with my job over all, and I know it's effecting my performance, because of the pain, and the judgement from people.
 I don't know if I can make it much longer, but I can't quit due to lack of a second household income (i'm single), and no other job would hire me at my weight, but I can't handle working now anyway.
I feel like a loser, and I feel stuck, and that gives me bad depressing thoughts.

What did you guys do for a living when you were at your biggest and how did you make it through the day?

Sorry to be a Debbie Downer, because I know most of this board is positive.

:(

-Heather

Heather: YOU ARE NOT A LOOSER

If your depressed first thing is to get help with it be it thearapy or medication.  We all get depressed for many reasons and if it effecting your life so severly then you need to help.  Debbie Downer is allowed once in a while but a steady diet of it only creates more missery for you.
Have you had your paper work submitted for the surgery yet?  Your inability to sit up for more than an hour at a time i think has more to do with the depression than your physical size.  I was so depressed that I cried all the time and went to my dr and he put on zoloft that I take every day and that along with support from family and friends I am doing much better.   If your job is being effected by depression then get the help you need and if you need to talk one on one with some one I would be glad to meet you some where and be your
friend while you get through this.

The driving thing can be handled.  Its only temporary until you have your surgery and drop the weight.  

I personally am off on LOA for knee surgery that I had yesterday but due to my weight and health issues I took a job in a call center and am greatful to have it right now in these  economic times.    At my highest weight I worked in a Deli on my feet for 8 hours a day 6 days a week.

You need to take control of yourself and your life and all of here will every thing we can to help you.


If you want /need to talk just send me a pm and we will exchange phone numbers and chat and take it from there.

I am here if you need some one.

Let me know

Hugs
lori

Remember never settle for less than you  deserve and you deserve only the best.

Heather,
I totally feel your pain.  I work at a job where I have some control over how much I do physically - I can ask others to do stuff when I felt at my worst.  I was 427lbs (oh god, that was only 7 weeks ago!) and there were days all I could do was get myself to the office, do the minimum and go home and sleep.   We were eating out almost every night because I couldn't function by the time we got home...

I can tell you since surgery I get alot more done on my own at work - and I am finally off weight restrictions! Wheeee!

I just did the minimum needed and sat at my desk more and more as my weight got higher.  It wasn't until after surgery that I realized how much time I spent miserable at my desk wishing I was able to get up and do more! 

One thing that has gotten my through is prozac.  I have been on it for a few years, but about a month before surgery I had the dose uped and that helped - it is still up but I admit to being bad about taking it now a days, it gets "stuck" and causes my other pills to get tossed back up - so I skip it... 

Okay, I am babbling, and I should be on my way to Annapolis!  (see told ya I had more energy, weekends before surgery were spent on the couch SLEEPING!) 

My best advice is to call and talk to your PCP, she can prescribe something to get you through the emotionals traumas of being fat, and the stress of waiting on approval. 

Keep us updated on your progress, you will find great support on this group!  Feel free to PM me anytime!

Hi Heather,  First things first,  Stop calling yourself a LOSER, if you refer to yourself as a loser, others will think it's ok to think the same. The issues that you are having now, about work and the pain is due to the fact that you are making a pro active decision about your life style and your health. Just for making that huge decision you should be congratulated not considered a loser. You are finally ready to make a huge life change, and once you make a decision that big, you just want to run with it, and patience becomes very limited. Before I had really looked into WLS, I called my Dr's office the Mon. after Thanksgiving, and the receptionist explained to me that she would be sending me a packet to fill out, and once they received it, someone would call me for a consultation. I told her that was fine, but I really wanted to have the surgery before the end of the year! Twenty min. later after she stopped laughing, she explained that this was a slow process, and there was no way I was having WLS before Jan. SO have a little patience, it is the best gift you can give yourself, there is nothing better than feeling well, and adding years to your life!  Hang in there!  Keep posting when you need to reach out, you have plenty of friends on the OH site!  You can do it, put a smile on your face, and your big girl panties on, you are on your way!!  Leslie :)

Heather,

We try to be positive of course but life is life! lol. At my highest weight, I was so tired, I slept under my desk. And someone found me doing this! So I have been there, done that. One thing you should do right away is get a sleep test done so you can get a cpap machine. people die from untreated sleep apnea. that really concerns me! Other than that, just try to hang in there til you get approved. once you have surgery, you will start to feel better, I promise.

If you need anything, pm me and we can talk.

good luck sweetie

Nicole

Heather 1st of all you are not a loser and you must change that dialog you have in your head. I also think if you are depressed you need to ask for help. I would also invest in a sleep study as well SA can cause so many problems and it can be treated. We all have had our weight issues and you are doing your best. You are trying to make a change. Hold your head up and push on.. I know that's hard to do when you are so down but I think you can do this... I am here and so are all the other members and we will support you. If you want I will PM you my numbers and maybe we could chat.....Hugs to you for reaching out...

                                                                                    Julie

Thank you to everyone for responding and for their encouraging words. They do help me a lot.
Maybe I'll see my PCP for anxiety and depression to see what he thinks.

-Heather

Better living through Chemistry.  even situational depression responds to meds...


hang in this will pass....