OT - my craziness
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I am crazy; I must be. Sunday was my first day without my BC and I woke up with my brain yelling "**** **** **** **** **** **** what the hell are you doing?" I thought it was temporary, so I went ahead, stopped the bc, saw my doc on Monday and as I am driving to work, I am thinking, wtf, I don't want a child. And I try as hard as I can to remember how I felt last month and I can't bring any of those emotions back at the thought of a child. There's some feeling that oh our child would be nice. But overall, I am till p!ssed that Jeff and I had 2 years alone after we got married and those weren't the best years - less money, I felt awful about myself. We are finally coming to a stage where we might actually get to enjoy our life and when I think of adding a child to the mix, I don't feel any excitement.
Jeff and I talked yesterday and he said he didn't want a child right now. He's worried about his new job, my parents moving in. He thought I wanted one and I thought he really wanted one and neither one of us does.
My biggest thing is I am disappointing my parents and what will people say when I tell them I don't want a kid. I know I shouldn't care about what people say but I can't completely ignore them either. And Suheir's (my sister) been so excited about the whole thing.
I don't know, even this morning driving to work, I tried thinking of having a baby now and all the emotions I feel are related to fear and not a bit of excitement. I wonder if it's last minute cold feet and if I get pregnant, it'll be all roses again. But, what if it's not? What if I get pregnant and I still regret it and resent the fact that Jeff and I never got to enjoy life when we finally have the means to.
Am I crazy?
There is a bit of truth to the fact that you are never really ready. But I think overall, you would need to feel like you at least want to see what happens. Do not worry bout anyone else but you and your husband. You will have it growing in you for 9 months, then have the kid and raise it. They won't. My mom puts pressure on me as well. Although I would love to raise a child, I do not feel like I am ready to take on such an enormous responsibility. You need to really listen to yourself and do what is right for you and your life.
Good luck!
Hey Sylvie!!! I'll echo what Nic said. Do what is right for you and Jeff, no one else!!
I'm not quite sure how old you are, but it seems to me you still have time - time to live your life, adjust to Jeff's new job and your parents coming here, and experience some things that you might not if you have a child.
I truly believe that you'll know when you're ready. If you NEVER feel ready, that's okay, too. I'm living proof that you don't have to have a child to be a parent. I always thought I wanted 3-4 kids, but I wanted to do it the right way, married and with a husband, but that wasn't to be and I'm okay with that. And now, after seeing what some of my friends go through, I DEFINITELY made the right decision. You need to be okay with whatever decision you and Jeff make and tell everyone else (lovingly) that it's YOUR decision and they should butt out!
And yes.....I think you're crazy!! But not for that!! 
Hugs,
Tia
I am crazy for many different reasons :-)
I am 32, so I got 3 years before I reall should worry, right? But, I want to spend those next 2-3 years enjoying life with Jeff, now that we'll have the money to do so.
Oh well, I'll deal with people's questions when it comes to it. Mybe I'll just say, we couldn'tget pregnant and hope they'll leave me alone.
I need a bar night with girlfriends.
No matter how much you plan for a child, you are never totally ready. Take it from me. I got pregnant on accident and I embraced it right away because I knew how much I wanted to have a family with my husband (BF at the time). I had a wonderful pregnancy, and every minute of it was exciting! As much as I planned for everything, we could have never truly been ready!
Good luck with your decisions. No matter what, its you and your husband's decision, and not anyone elses. No one can tell you how to live your life!
if you are not sure and Jeff does not want one now, they wait.
seriously.
our two best friend couples are both CBC (childless by choice)
if the only reason we got married was to make babies i'd not be with brian. i'm way past baby making age...
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