uncomfortable with comments about my body

Hi all....

I've been struggling lately.  I've gotten to the point where I've lost enough weight (90 lbs) to look like a totally different person than I did 5 months ago when I had my RNY.  I've had to get all new clothes so the clothes that I'm wearing now actually fit and show just how much weight I've lost.  I constantly get comments at work from the people that know I had the surgery about how great I look....and now that the weight loss has reached the "dramatic" point, I'm getting comments from patients, families, and acquaintances that don't know I've had WLS.  (let me say, I work in a nursing home as a social worker....in Dundalk where I swear people are very blunt by  nature.  So i'm all over the building on different shifts, working with TONS of staff, patients, and families day in and day out.....so its not like I sit at a desk and only encounter a few people throughout my day)

Their comments are usually, "wow, you've really lost a lot weight....how'd you do it?  So I tell them (which is a vow I made to myself....that I would tell people IF they came out and asked HOW I did it).  The responses vary from "congratulations, keep up the good work!" to  "gee, i guess i should eat myself to near death so i can have surgery to make me skinny" to "well, you'll only look good for about 2 years and then you'll gain it all back....so enjoy it while it lasts". 

Constantly dealing with the range of positive and negative comments is literally an emotional roller coaster.  I feel like people are always checking me out and scrutinizing me.....i literally "catch" people talking about my surgery and how I look.  To me, the attention is getting embarassing.  I feel like I've finally reached a point in this journey where the new habits are second nature.  I just go about living my life day in and day out........it just so happens that as I do this, I'm continuing to lose weight.  Its hard to explain.....Its as if I finally reach a point where I feel "normal" again (and not like a bariatric surgery patient) but now I have the NEW challenge of the emotional struggle stemming from attention from others about the way I look. 

I'm interested in hearing if anyone else out there has had or is going through a similar experience.....or whether anyone just has any words of wisdom! 

  Have a great weekend everyone!

First of all, congrats on losing 90 pounds!  I got on the scale today and I had lost 70 and am so excited!  It is hard for me to just say thank you when people compliment my "new look" because I still feel like I have a ways to go.  To the negative comments, F- 'em.  Seriously, only you know how successful you'll be and NO ONE else can say a word because this is your life.  No one gets to have a say- and that is that.  One of my closest friends has not been very supportive of my surgery and it's been hard to deal with.  Not a lot of people understand WLS and I think it's the only reason they are watching our progress so closely- they are interested.  Congrats again!  You are looking GREAT and there's no reason to be embarrased about that.  I know I spent way too long being embarrased about being 320 lbs.  Those days are gone

I'm totally right there with you on that.  I'm still having trouble accepting compliments and as for the negative comments, I take the opportunity to educate those that are stupid.  if they listen then great who knows if they understand.  otherwise I just ignore them because they aren't worth my time.  however, most of mine has been positive and all i can think of is "have I changed that much????"  thank goodness that for the most part, I don't see these people very often...but my co-workers have been quite supportive and have been very helpful.  they finally got to see what a wls person goes through in order to lose the weight.  They have respect for what i have done and that makes me happy.

When I was at my grandfather's funeral and hadn't seen people in over 20 years they were shocked that they didn't know me and then pleased to see how well I looked and THOSE  compliments were hard to take.  many of them shunned me when i was big.  Well i came back with a vengeance!  I think I had the whole room stare at me at one time or another LOL

Lauren I can say that I lost 90 pounds years ago from being on a diet. I did not have comments like you have. I will tell you its no ones DAMN business but yours..... You are doing a great job so hold your head up and be proud... You can keep anything you want to yourself and tell those who you feel comfortable with... SCREW the rest of them......

                                                                                                                         Julie

First off CONGRADS on the 90 pounds sweet pea! That is AWESOME!!!!

Second~;LET EM TALK!!!!! That is what I had to tell myself. I had two daycare Moms ask me why I chose the "Easy Way" to lose weight and I was upset at first. Then I decided to have a sit down talk one on one with them to explain everything I endured before and after surgery. People who are ignorant to the surgery have NO FRIGGIN CLUE so they will talk smack which is why Star Jones hid for so long that she did it. I wont hide I want to help others with my success. ;o)

Keep up the GREAT work beautiful!!! Muahhhs!