How many folks were scared before surgery

this is not for me, it's for brian.

all my tests are done.  his wont' be done for another month.  I can start to move forward now... but he wants to go first.  he's very scared of this surgery.

he said he might bring it up at the  May support meeting.

I offered to let him talk to Ranesa again. but he said no.

I figured i"d ask here.... who was scared... and why?  and how did you deal....

were your fears unfounded?

Awww honey I was HORRIFIED!!!!!!!!!!!! I thought for sure I was gonna die even thought its so non invasive and I had my surgeon say time and time again YOU WILL BE FINE! I still wrote letters to my kids my parents and hubby in the event something went wrong. I almost backed out getting wheeled into the O.R too due to fear but they gave me something in the IV for anxiety and it was AWESOME!!! 

I am so GLAD I went through with it because IT SAVED MY LIFE! I am down almost 100 pounds in 4 short months and I am so much healthier. You will be too sweetheart! (((Hugs))))

I wasn't scared.   Lee was terrified enough for me, that if I knew if I let myself worry about the "what ifs" he would talk me out of it.  I was tired enough of being "too fat" to be happy, that anything felt better to me.

I also spent A WHOLE lot of time on here and talking to people I knew had surgery.  Does he ever read on OH at all?  Maybe it is time to get him involved... 

I honestly thinking meeting and getting to know those on the out side of surgery will give him some piece of mind that he isn't alone, and that he is making a good decision. 

My fear kicked in after surgery once my "complication" was over and I was in the intermediate unit...  Then in the 16 hours with no pain meds, I was scared, angry and hurting.  That was the only time since I started this process that I thought I made a mistake...

Does he have ONE thing that scares him?  Have you asked DVR for his stats on that particular "fear" just as a way to relieve the thoughts.

Maybe if he doesn't want to talk to Ranessa again on his own he might want to go to one of your appointments and just get more reassurance?

Just some thoughts... If he wants, I will gladly meet up with you for dinner or such and he can see my "scars" and such and ask any questions he has...

HECK YEAH!!!  I think everyone is scared at some point.  Anytime you go under general anesthesia there is a risk of dying.  BUT...that is why there is so much pre-op testing.  To make sure that you are healthy enough to have the surgery.  It's completely normal but our chances are waaaay better having the surgery than not.

I can understand how your husband feels.  I was terrified!!!  I even backed out two years prior to me making my decision.  I had never been so scared in my entire life.  I started to doubt myself and whether I was making the right decision.  I was worried that my quality of life would be horrible after the surgery.  I was afraid of feeling sick all of the time and so on.  Ultimately I knew this was the right decision for me, but I was afraid of all the unknowns.  I just passed the 3 month mark and I'm down 66 pounds- and...
I FEEL GREAT
I am no longer diabetic, I've got tons of energy and I'm happier than I've ever been.  I'm finally taking care of myself which is something that I never did.  I've learned so much about myself in the last 3 months and I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.  Best decision ever!  I know I'm a newbie, but I saw immediate benefits and am loving life thus far.

Nessa, yes, I'm scared.  Not of the surgery itself, but after surgery - will I be someone who doesn't like the new relationship with food and regret the surgery?  Odd fear I know, huh? 

Everyone I've heard from does not regret the surgery and is fine with their new relationship but I wonder if I will miss my best friend too much?  At the same time I'm excited to have a new relationship, to be healthy, etc.  Such a mish-mosh of emotions, I just always fear the unknown.

Yes, I was scared. It was not so much this particular surgery as it was any surgery. I had never before had surgery. I was terrified of anesthesia. I had in the back of my mind a surgery my Dad had many years prior. He had a heart attack and emergency heart bypass surgery. During the surgery he suffered a stroke. It caused long term disabilities for him. I knew I was not in good health and I considered myself at high risk for any surgery. I think it is this fear that kept me from even looking into WLS for many years.

When I finally went to the introductory seminar I was overwhelmed and even more terrified of all of the statistics and possibilities of what could go wrong, even though the percentages were very much in favor of a successful outcome. Still, I decided to keep looking into it. As time went on, I became more convinced that I had to do something. I was killing myself with my bad habits. I was creating a walking time-bomb that could explode at any time with a serious illness or death. So I took faith in the confidence of my surgeon and the fact that he was so ultra-conservative and pro-active. I liked the fact that he went into each surgery totally prepared for all of the possibilities and would do everything possible to ensure a good outcome.

Yes, I knew I was taking a risk as any surgery is. However, I decided for me that if I were to die from surgery I would choose to do it fighting for a healthier me than dying suddenly from all of the damage I had done to myself with my bad eating habits. The further along I went into the preparation/planning for surgery, the more committed I became to this decision. I just let my fears go. On the day of surgery, my family and friends were surprised how calm I was. I actually walked myself into the OR.

I have never looked back. For me, it was the best thing I ever did and I would do it again.

All the best,

Debbie

It's funny that you ask that. I sat my kids down last night and explained to them what I was going to have done. My oldest,16, I love her to death she said I will be there with you!!!! My son was not phased at all but my 9 year old started to cry. She said could I die? I explained to her that I WAS NOT going to die in fact that this would help me to be able do more with her. But she is a worrier so I am sure she will worry about me dieing until I come out of surgery. So, I sat in my room alone last night reflecting on my kids and my conversation and I started thinking of all the things that could go wrong. I and started getting scared. So scared that I could not sleep. So, I went and got on the computer. And I came on this site and realized that that surgery maybe scary for some but the risk are actually very very small. So, tell Brian that according to most everyone on here that being scared is normal, but being healthy is worth all the up and down emotions. If your are complete all test have you thought about going first and encouraging him this your success?

i want to go and get it over with.. he is afraid if he sees me sick he will back out. 

he is today  An IDIOT.

All men have those day. LOL. If he is anything like mine we he gets sick he acts like my children.....whining about how much he hurts. LOL. He will be just fine. I would suggest he join OH and see what other peoples experiences have been like.