WHAT SIZE???
I knew my clothes were getting too big again so I went shopping yesterday to buy some new slacks for work and some jeans. While I was there I picked up some shirts and a bathing suit cover-up. Since I didn't try them on, I knew I'd be taking some of them back, but was hoping that I'd be able to fit into some of them soon.
Once I got home, I tried on the jeans, the slacks, the shirts, the bathing suit cover-up and I was in SHOCK!!! They ALL fit and one pair of slacks was actually a bit baggy. I cannot express the overwhelming emotions that I am still going through. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy, thrilled, excited... but at the same time, it feels surreal. This must be a dream.
How can I go from a 22 to a 12 in only 4 1/2 months?? It's impossible!! I am emotionally blown away, somewhere between joy and sadness.
Sad... to see some of my old favorite "friends" go (clothes)? Sad to.... to what? I'm not really sure of what. I feel like I shouldn't be sad... I should be rejoicing, but I guess I'm afraid that it will just be a delicious dream I'll wake up from and find out that I didn't lose any weight at all?
Last week, I posted that I was now "fat" as opposed to the AMA's label of obese. I was happy about that and commemorated with a new tattoo.
Sometimes I wish I could just live without having to try and decipher all the emotions and feelings I go through. I hate feeling down when I think I should be uplifted and floating on a weightless cloud.
I have some low-rise and mid-rise jeans, and a few shirts and slacks, size 16. First person who can come and pick them up in Essex can have them. Please PM me.
Once I got home, I tried on the jeans, the slacks, the shirts, the bathing suit cover-up and I was in SHOCK!!! They ALL fit and one pair of slacks was actually a bit baggy. I cannot express the overwhelming emotions that I am still going through. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy, thrilled, excited... but at the same time, it feels surreal. This must be a dream.
How can I go from a 22 to a 12 in only 4 1/2 months?? It's impossible!! I am emotionally blown away, somewhere between joy and sadness.
Sad... to see some of my old favorite "friends" go (clothes)? Sad to.... to what? I'm not really sure of what. I feel like I shouldn't be sad... I should be rejoicing, but I guess I'm afraid that it will just be a delicious dream I'll wake up from and find out that I didn't lose any weight at all?
Last week, I posted that I was now "fat" as opposed to the AMA's label of obese. I was happy about that and commemorated with a new tattoo.
Sometimes I wish I could just live without having to try and decipher all the emotions and feelings I go through. I hate feeling down when I think I should be uplifted and floating on a weightless cloud.
I have some low-rise and mid-rise jeans, and a few shirts and slacks, size 16. First person who can come and pick them up in Essex can have them. Please PM me.
"The difference between try and triumph is just a little umph!"
Wow REN! You are doing great!!!!!
Would it be possible that we are sorry to see our wall crumbling down - we used to hide behind that wall of fatness - couldn't go here couldnt' go there, couldn't do this or that, and this favorite shirt of mine was always there for me, but now it makes me look like a tent? AM I losing my fat cells that I've accepted as friends who've known me dearly because they've insulated me?
Is it too good to be true? Am I allowed to be happy? We've felt guilty in taking pleasure in food. That guilt spills over into our accomplishments and makes us feel torn between several emotions.
Gone are the days where we could sit down and eat the way we did, here are the days where we struggle with is this good for me, or should I have this? We say goodbye to comfort foods because they comforted us in the wrong way.
We say "hello" to a new wardrobe and feel guilty. It's almost like replacing the mop and the broom with the Swifter sweeper.
I think you are doing great and you've got a big heart! I can't wear 16 yet - my 22's jeans haven't fallen off of me yet.
I proud of you Ren! Slap the ***** that pulls you down. Tell her that she's not allowed to do that. Go for it girl!
Would it be possible that we are sorry to see our wall crumbling down - we used to hide behind that wall of fatness - couldn't go here couldnt' go there, couldn't do this or that, and this favorite shirt of mine was always there for me, but now it makes me look like a tent? AM I losing my fat cells that I've accepted as friends who've known me dearly because they've insulated me?
Is it too good to be true? Am I allowed to be happy? We've felt guilty in taking pleasure in food. That guilt spills over into our accomplishments and makes us feel torn between several emotions.
Gone are the days where we could sit down and eat the way we did, here are the days where we struggle with is this good for me, or should I have this? We say goodbye to comfort foods because they comforted us in the wrong way.
We say "hello" to a new wardrobe and feel guilty. It's almost like replacing the mop and the broom with the Swifter sweeper.
I think you are doing great and you've got a big heart! I can't wear 16 yet - my 22's jeans haven't fallen off of me yet.
I proud of you Ren! Slap the ***** that pulls you down. Tell her that she's not allowed to do that. Go for it girl!
Oh Ren! Congratulations! What a fabulous moment for you! Sometimes, when we are weight-challenged, we try to put all of the hurt that goes along with that somewhere else, so we can just function on a daily basis. I agree, it seems inconceivable to suddenly find ourselves becoming free of the old body. In the process all of the feelings jf every type just pour out. You deserve to feel wonderful about your accomplishment. Yes, this is real and you made it happen with losts of hard work and dedication to making a better life for yourself. Keep up the good work and enjoy the new you!
Debbie
Debbie
Thanks Debbie. I appreciate it.
I guess I question what makes ME deserve this, especially when I haven't had it in such a long time. I feel like I've lost something... and I'm not sure who I am anymore. I guess I need to surround myself with support from friends and family while I get comfortable in my new "skin".
I guess I question what makes ME deserve this, especially when I haven't had it in such a long time. I feel like I've lost something... and I'm not sure who I am anymore. I guess I need to surround myself with support from friends and family while I get comfortable in my new "skin".
"The difference between try and triumph is just a little umph!"
Congratulations Ren! I know the feeling, although I doubt I'd fit into a 12 quite yet, 14's and some 16's are more my size now. I went through many of my clothes over the weekend and I kept wanting to hold onto my favorites but bit the bullet and stuck them in the boxes and bags. It does feel bizarre and as if it's all just temporary as it always has been before! We won't let it happen!!
Congratulations! Put a pic of your new tattoo on your profile!
Heather
Congratulations! Put a pic of your new tattoo on your profile!
Heather
WOOT WOOT! Congrats on being size 12 now Ren! I can't imagine going from 22 to 12 in 4.5 months but hopefully I will have that chance.
I am still pre-op but I can understand feelings of sadness. There's a huge change going on in your life right now, and it's coming atcha fast.
Let's face it, in my life my weight has gone up and down so many times that I know when I have my surgery and the weight starts falling off I'm going to be waiting for that other shoe to drop, for someone to tell me it's all been a mistake and wake up and be obese again. I suspect your brain hasn't caught up with your body in this journey. Guess what hon? it's REAL it's not a dream and you've worked hard for it. OWN IT, you deserve it!
Hugs,
Angie
I am still pre-op but I can understand feelings of sadness. There's a huge change going on in your life right now, and it's coming atcha fast.
Let's face it, in my life my weight has gone up and down so many times that I know when I have my surgery and the weight starts falling off I'm going to be waiting for that other shoe to drop, for someone to tell me it's all been a mistake and wake up and be obese again. I suspect your brain hasn't caught up with your body in this journey. Guess what hon? it's REAL it's not a dream and you've worked hard for it. OWN IT, you deserve it!
Hugs,
Angie
Angie,
I've never done the up and down thing, other than an occasional 10 pounds. I was never able to hold to a diet more than 2 weeks, so never really lost an amount of weight worth celebrating before.
I am sure in a few days I will be able to wrap myself around the fact that this truly is me and not a dream. I took a photo of me last week and just sent it to myself at work and was blown away by it. At least now I can finally see what others do and may be able to Own it with some realization of truth.
Thanks for your support!
~hugs~
Ren
I've never done the up and down thing, other than an occasional 10 pounds. I was never able to hold to a diet more than 2 weeks, so never really lost an amount of weight worth celebrating before.
I am sure in a few days I will be able to wrap myself around the fact that this truly is me and not a dream. I took a photo of me last week and just sent it to myself at work and was blown away by it. At least now I can finally see what others do and may be able to Own it with some realization of truth.
Thanks for your support!
~hugs~
Ren
"The difference between try and triumph is just a little umph!"
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