Scared son

Anyone have children who were scared or nervous before your surgery???   My 11 and 15 yr olds are totally fine, but my 12 year old son is really nervous about my surgery tomorrow.  He doesn't want me to have it.  I try to be really positive and reassuring.  I'm not even nervous about it.  But he is afraid that I could die!

It is definitely scary for children and spouses when a loved one and caretaker is going in for serious surgery.  I suggest you talk with him and tell him that you chose your Dr. because of his skill level and success rate of surgery. Tell him to put his fear in the hands of the Lord and allow Him to relieve some of the burden of his worry.

You may also want to write a letter to each of your children that they are to read the while you are having surgery that tells them how much you love them (no matter what) and that you look forward to seeing their smiling faces when you wake.  Also let them know that you are having this surgery so that you can become healthier and to give you the opportunity to spend more quality  time with them.

It's all I have as far as suggestions go. I know that my 17 and 21 year olds were terrified as was my mom.

Good luck!

Thanks Ren,

The letter  is a fantastic idea. I never thought of that. Thank you so much. I have shared with him that I fully trust that God will protect me. Phillippians 4:6 has helped me immensely and I have shared that with him too.

This is a really tough one and I wish I had some experience to help you with this, but I don't. I don't have children of my own. From what I have read, a lot of his feelings may have to do with his age and developing awareness of the world. Perhaps he saw a movie or show that made the possibility of losing a parent a concern for him. Given the short amount of time before your surgery, it may be difficult to get advice from a counselor, social worker, minister, etc. I think you are doing the right thing in reassuring him. He may not be totally satisified though until afterwards.

Thanks Debbie,

As far as a counselor or minister, ironic enough, my huband is a youth minister!!!  I think your right, he will be better after he sees that I am ok.

Ren that's an awesome Idea!  I never thought of that - and can you imagine the memories from such an endearing letter? 

Hi Jo,

I also had this problem but I had it with my oldest daughter. At the time she was 21 and was not for the surgery. She found every negative thing to tell me about it and had 1 million and 1 excuses for me not to have the surgery.  I had a long discussion with her and told her all the reasons why I chose to have this done for me. I also told her that I needed to be alive to continue to raise my little ones and see my grandbabies grow up.  I wrote all my kids a letter even my youngest who was 2 (just incase) I really didn't feel worried and I was at peace with my decision.
I just wrote them a letter saying how much I loved them and how much they meant to me. 

Let him know that you will do great. I do suggest to let him be at the hospital only becuase being at school and not knowing what is going on will be harder on him to deal with. 

I can't wait to hear how you are doing. I hope you have someone posting an update to us.  Let me know if you need to do that for you.

Hugs,

Hey Cira,

Thank you for your words of encouragement. Actually my son, Joey, will  be at the hospital during my surgery. He is the only one of my children that I homeschool, so my parents are bringing him up to the hospital with them.

Tia will be posting an update on me.  My husband will call her when my surgery over. But thank you for the offer.

That is great to hear, I am glad that he will be there.

Great I am glad Tia is going to post for you.

Big hugs girl tomorrow you will be a Loser!

Awwww yes my 10 year old was more upset then my 8 and 14 year old girls. They were all okay but my 10 year old is SUPER SENSITIVE and kept saying all the "What ifs" . We had a great talk and I let her know she could see me as soon as she got out of school the day of surgery. I told her I would be fine. I also reminded her my surgeon has done almost 1000 of these and never lost a patient. That made her feel better. I wrote them all letters JUST IN CASE but they never knew that. I wanted it in their heads that I would be fine and I WAS JUST FINE! YOU WILL BE TOO!
((((((((GOOD LUCK)))))))))))