Update & Happy New Year
Terri,
I am so inspired by you. 104 lbs lost is amazing! You are brave to face and go through emotional issues instead of avoiding them with food, or any other device that is harmful to us. It's a challenge we all face, trying to adopt healthy ways to cope rather than unhealthy.
I've missed you around here so I'm glad you are planning to be here with us more often.
I saved this article at some point in my journey to WLS and it really makes sense:
Who Is In That Mirror?
Identity Crisis Following Weight Loss Surgery
By Barbara Thompson
“Do you ever not recognize yourself?" “Yes", I admitted. “It’s creepy, isn’t it?" This was a recent conversation I had with Barry who had just lost over 100 pounds following weight loss surgery. “I feel wonderful, I feel great, but sometimes I don’t know who I am," he told me.
This is a common problem for people who have lost a significant amount of weight in a short period of time. “Watch what you wish for" is advice that some weight loss surgery patients wish they had heeded because everything may not hum along smoothly after the pounds begin to disappear. Life after bariatric surgery often brings enormous emotional challenges as patients are adjusting to their rapidly changing form. If not dealt with, the resulting distress can cause some patients to sabotage their weight loss.
Patients who have a significant weight problem spend much of their lives thinking, “If only I were thin, then I could …" They fill in the blank with whatever will fix what is wrong in their lives, from getting a better job to having a happier marriage. The sad truth is that thin people also have unsatisfying jobs and bad marriages. “If I were thinner, my husband would love me more." Not only is this not likely to happen, but losing a significant amount of weight often puts additional stress on the marriage.
After losing over 100 pounds and not necessarily finding their happiness at the other end of the scale, patients can be left feeling confused, anxious, depressed and wishing they had never started this journey in the first place. They feel cheated out of attaining the elusive happiness that was supposed to be theirs once they were of normal weight.
Some patients will lose weight and then panic as they go below what may be a comfortable weight for them. Without realizing it, they might have used their size to make them feel either safe by keeping people away, or stronger and more powerful through their sheer size. Now that they are thinner they feel vulnerable and weak. As they lose weight they may have a frightening feeling of being empty.
Unrealistic expectations about what their bodies will look like when they become thinner may pose additional problems. Whether the cause is real or perceived, patients may be very unhappy with their bodies after losing weight. Some patients may feel that they have traded one prison for another. After their weight loss, many morbidly obese patients have a significant problem with hanging skin, which causes additional physical and emotional problems. They may not feel that the surgery was worth it because their bodies did not live up to the image that they created in their minds.
Patients may not have a sense of their changing body mass as they experience rapid weight loss. This can be very disturbing. After I lost 100 pounds, I was still walking sideways through a turnstile. I continued to have a fear of being publicly humiliated by not being able to make it through. It took a degree of courage the first time I walked straight through a turnstile with a crowd of people behind me! I also found myself being startled when I would catch a glimpse of myself as I walked past a plate glass window. I would often wonder who that person was who was following me! I just was not yet accustomed to my new form, even if it was new and improved. It still startled me.
Body image disturbance, a condition in which people incorrectly estimate their size, is a very common problem. Patients often over-estimate their size and feel that regardless of how much weight they lose, they still consider themselves fat. Neither the scale nor their clothing size will convince them that they look good. They may remain dissatisfied and disappointed.
So how do people deal with the loss of all of this weight?
Have realistic life expectations following surgery. Thin people have problems too.
They should sketch what they perceive their current body size to be and compare the drawings with a friend’s appraisal of what they look like. Do they seem to have an accurate sense of reality?
They should discuss how they feel about their current body image. They should seek counseling if they are at all unhappy.
Dealing with any underlying psychological issues will help to ensure success. It will also increase the likelihood of continued success for the rest of their lives.
Barbara Thompson is a speaker and the author of the book “Weight Loss Surgery: Finding the Thin Person Hiding Inside You." She was a patient herself having lost 125 pounds following weight loss surgery. She hosts a popular and informative website http://www.wlscenter.com.
I am so inspired by you. 104 lbs lost is amazing! You are brave to face and go through emotional issues instead of avoiding them with food, or any other device that is harmful to us. It's a challenge we all face, trying to adopt healthy ways to cope rather than unhealthy.
I've missed you around here so I'm glad you are planning to be here with us more often.
I saved this article at some point in my journey to WLS and it really makes sense:
Who Is In That Mirror?
Identity Crisis Following Weight Loss Surgery
By Barbara Thompson
“Do you ever not recognize yourself?" “Yes", I admitted. “It’s creepy, isn’t it?" This was a recent conversation I had with Barry who had just lost over 100 pounds following weight loss surgery. “I feel wonderful, I feel great, but sometimes I don’t know who I am," he told me.
This is a common problem for people who have lost a significant amount of weight in a short period of time. “Watch what you wish for" is advice that some weight loss surgery patients wish they had heeded because everything may not hum along smoothly after the pounds begin to disappear. Life after bariatric surgery often brings enormous emotional challenges as patients are adjusting to their rapidly changing form. If not dealt with, the resulting distress can cause some patients to sabotage their weight loss.
Patients who have a significant weight problem spend much of their lives thinking, “If only I were thin, then I could …" They fill in the blank with whatever will fix what is wrong in their lives, from getting a better job to having a happier marriage. The sad truth is that thin people also have unsatisfying jobs and bad marriages. “If I were thinner, my husband would love me more." Not only is this not likely to happen, but losing a significant amount of weight often puts additional stress on the marriage.
After losing over 100 pounds and not necessarily finding their happiness at the other end of the scale, patients can be left feeling confused, anxious, depressed and wishing they had never started this journey in the first place. They feel cheated out of attaining the elusive happiness that was supposed to be theirs once they were of normal weight.
Some patients will lose weight and then panic as they go below what may be a comfortable weight for them. Without realizing it, they might have used their size to make them feel either safe by keeping people away, or stronger and more powerful through their sheer size. Now that they are thinner they feel vulnerable and weak. As they lose weight they may have a frightening feeling of being empty.
Unrealistic expectations about what their bodies will look like when they become thinner may pose additional problems. Whether the cause is real or perceived, patients may be very unhappy with their bodies after losing weight. Some patients may feel that they have traded one prison for another. After their weight loss, many morbidly obese patients have a significant problem with hanging skin, which causes additional physical and emotional problems. They may not feel that the surgery was worth it because their bodies did not live up to the image that they created in their minds.
Patients may not have a sense of their changing body mass as they experience rapid weight loss. This can be very disturbing. After I lost 100 pounds, I was still walking sideways through a turnstile. I continued to have a fear of being publicly humiliated by not being able to make it through. It took a degree of courage the first time I walked straight through a turnstile with a crowd of people behind me! I also found myself being startled when I would catch a glimpse of myself as I walked past a plate glass window. I would often wonder who that person was who was following me! I just was not yet accustomed to my new form, even if it was new and improved. It still startled me.
Body image disturbance, a condition in which people incorrectly estimate their size, is a very common problem. Patients often over-estimate their size and feel that regardless of how much weight they lose, they still consider themselves fat. Neither the scale nor their clothing size will convince them that they look good. They may remain dissatisfied and disappointed.
So how do people deal with the loss of all of this weight?
Have realistic life expectations following surgery. Thin people have problems too.
They should sketch what they perceive their current body size to be and compare the drawings with a friend’s appraisal of what they look like. Do they seem to have an accurate sense of reality?
They should discuss how they feel about their current body image. They should seek counseling if they are at all unhappy.
Dealing with any underlying psychological issues will help to ensure success. It will also increase the likelihood of continued success for the rest of their lives.
Barbara Thompson is a speaker and the author of the book “Weight Loss Surgery: Finding the Thin Person Hiding Inside You." She was a patient herself having lost 125 pounds following weight loss surgery. She hosts a popular and informative website http://www.wlscenter.com.
Jennifer,
Thank you so much for you kind words and most of all your support and thank you for sharing the article it is so true and really speaks to the issues we all face. You have always inspried me in so many ways and I look forward to seeing you again real soon.
Hugs
Terri
Taking the Journey One Day at a Time!Terri 
Hi Lisa
Hope all is well with you. I will probably not be able to make the support group meeting since I have been back to work and with the winter months it is hard for me to make the trip another 30 miles after driving from the western shore 40 miles to Kent Island so we are talking about driving almost 100 miles to support group. In the nice weather I am more apt to do this but have a hard time in the winter months. I do miss all of you, perhaps we could plan a Saturday get together in Easton sometime would love to see you. Happy New Year to you!
Hugs,
Terri :-)
Taking the Journey One Day at a Time!Terri
Terri
So good to see you posting! I realize I am a lil late in getting to this but had and insanely hectic week at work!! And OH MY WOW!! 104 lbs is amazing and look at you, in that Avatar soooo beautifull!!
What a great post though, Seriously at only 3 months post-op I can start to see that mentally over the next couple of months things can and possibly will get VERY hard for me! I can already tell a difference in my mental state and yes facing problems vs. stuffing them down with food is a hard process!!
I look forward to hopefully meeting you at one of the Crofton support group meetings!
So good to see you posting! I realize I am a lil late in getting to this but had and insanely hectic week at work!! And OH MY WOW!! 104 lbs is amazing and look at you, in that Avatar soooo beautifull!!
What a great post though, Seriously at only 3 months post-op I can start to see that mentally over the next couple of months things can and possibly will get VERY hard for me! I can already tell a difference in my mental state and yes facing problems vs. stuffing them down with food is a hard process!!
I look forward to hopefully meeting you at one of the Crofton support group meetings!
~*April*~
April
Thank you! You have also done an excellent in your journey to date and you look wonderful in your avatar!! I plan on attending the Crofton Support Group on the 6th and hope to meet you as well. Hang in there and keep getting the support we all need it so much!!
Hugs
Terri
Taking the Journey One Day at a Time!Terri
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