Why I haven't been posting
Well, I don't post very often (shame on me), but I have had one of the worst Augusts (months) of my life...
In June, the school year ended early, thus giving me a few unexpected days off. Always a good thing. Well, during this time, I was notifed that two good friends had cancer. In the end of June, I made a trip home..where I had the opportunity to visit (in a hospice house) one of my friends. Sadly, she didn't recognize me at all. I had to bring in "fat" photos for her to "realize" who I was. She responded to the photos..and often sung "Oh Danny Boy" while I was visitng. Well, I left top come back home, knowing that I would never see her again.
In early July, I left for a wonderful nine night cruise to New England and Canada. It was a wonderful trip. Beautiful nature, terrific ship, incredible service, great food!!! However, prior to the cruise, I was able to see another friend who was diagnosed with breast cancer. Luckily it has been caught early enough that major precautions and actions can be put into place. While it was during this trip that my friend at home passes away.
Upon returning home, I started to spend more and more time with my next door neighbor. She has been suffering with brain cancer for two years...and during these past few months, her health has been waining. Well, since mid July, I was going over daily, helping her out...cooking for her and her husband, etc.
Well, I got a phone call from home, and was told that a very close friend of mine died. It was difficult for me because she has been in my life for over 30 years. She was my second mother..my life mentor...and my inspiration. I ended up flying home for the memorial service..and again I was in a situation in which I wasn't recognized. Finally the family asked who I was and when they realized who I was...they asked to get together to talk about her and mine relationship. Needless to say, the only loss in my life that I could imagine being more painful would be my own mother. What made this so difficult and painful was that I was an out-sider and pretty alone...
Upon returning home, I ended up taking care of my neighbor. I spent many times a day picking her up when she fell, feeding her, etc...As the days went on, things really began to get worse. It got to the point that I finally told her husband to contact hospice ( I have worked with them for years). I also told him he needed to prepare for the end. Well, on August 10th.. I told him that things weren't right with her..and that I didn't foresee her lasting more then a week. This is when he called in hospice. They told him the same. On Monday, she went into a coma...and each day I was there..helping out. Well, without going into a lot of details.. one week later... I ended up (at 10pm) telling him and his sons that she had passed away. I sat with her till hospice came to declare her deceased... I ended up helping the funeral parlor people wrap her up and carry her out of the house. I then started the process of support for her husband...her children....and a neighbor.
All in all, it has been pretty tough. I had my three year annivesary and I am up to 170 pounds... origionally from 340..down to 155. I hate being 15 pounds heavier... HATE IT...but the doctor is thrilled. He wants another five or ten pounds added to my frame...NOT!!! I want to get back to the 150s... I hate how I feel, but in my head, I know that I am at my healthiest.
I have had some good times... my cruise, a beach day, etc... but, all in all...it has been pretty rough. I really haven't been myself. I am pretty exhausted..drained...and I am dealing with waves of saddness. I am not really depressed. I definitely do not need medication. I know that I have to deal with sadness and suffering....and I would definitely like to deal with it while downing a chocolate milkshake...but I will okay. Things will get better...
Needless to say, this is why I haven't been aroudn this summer. Thought I would finally share my issues...only because I knew that some of you have been concerned. I am okay.. I like the Phoenix...will be reborn from the ashes... Yes, call me a Drama Lover!!!!
In June, the school year ended early, thus giving me a few unexpected days off. Always a good thing. Well, during this time, I was notifed that two good friends had cancer. In the end of June, I made a trip home..where I had the opportunity to visit (in a hospice house) one of my friends. Sadly, she didn't recognize me at all. I had to bring in "fat" photos for her to "realize" who I was. She responded to the photos..and often sung "Oh Danny Boy" while I was visitng. Well, I left top come back home, knowing that I would never see her again.
In early July, I left for a wonderful nine night cruise to New England and Canada. It was a wonderful trip. Beautiful nature, terrific ship, incredible service, great food!!! However, prior to the cruise, I was able to see another friend who was diagnosed with breast cancer. Luckily it has been caught early enough that major precautions and actions can be put into place. While it was during this trip that my friend at home passes away.
Upon returning home, I started to spend more and more time with my next door neighbor. She has been suffering with brain cancer for two years...and during these past few months, her health has been waining. Well, since mid July, I was going over daily, helping her out...cooking for her and her husband, etc.
Well, I got a phone call from home, and was told that a very close friend of mine died. It was difficult for me because she has been in my life for over 30 years. She was my second mother..my life mentor...and my inspiration. I ended up flying home for the memorial service..and again I was in a situation in which I wasn't recognized. Finally the family asked who I was and when they realized who I was...they asked to get together to talk about her and mine relationship. Needless to say, the only loss in my life that I could imagine being more painful would be my own mother. What made this so difficult and painful was that I was an out-sider and pretty alone...
Upon returning home, I ended up taking care of my neighbor. I spent many times a day picking her up when she fell, feeding her, etc...As the days went on, things really began to get worse. It got to the point that I finally told her husband to contact hospice ( I have worked with them for years). I also told him he needed to prepare for the end. Well, on August 10th.. I told him that things weren't right with her..and that I didn't foresee her lasting more then a week. This is when he called in hospice. They told him the same. On Monday, she went into a coma...and each day I was there..helping out. Well, without going into a lot of details.. one week later... I ended up (at 10pm) telling him and his sons that she had passed away. I sat with her till hospice came to declare her deceased... I ended up helping the funeral parlor people wrap her up and carry her out of the house. I then started the process of support for her husband...her children....and a neighbor.
All in all, it has been pretty tough. I had my three year annivesary and I am up to 170 pounds... origionally from 340..down to 155. I hate being 15 pounds heavier... HATE IT...but the doctor is thrilled. He wants another five or ten pounds added to my frame...NOT!!! I want to get back to the 150s... I hate how I feel, but in my head, I know that I am at my healthiest.
I have had some good times... my cruise, a beach day, etc... but, all in all...it has been pretty rough. I really haven't been myself. I am pretty exhausted..drained...and I am dealing with waves of saddness. I am not really depressed. I definitely do not need medication. I know that I have to deal with sadness and suffering....and I would definitely like to deal with it while downing a chocolate milkshake...but I will okay. Things will get better...
Needless to say, this is why I haven't been aroudn this summer. Thought I would finally share my issues...only because I knew that some of you have been concerned. I am okay.. I like the Phoenix...will be reborn from the ashes... Yes, call me a Drama Lover!!!!
Daniel Patrick Fluharty, NBCT
Be yourself, nobody can tell you that you are doing it wrong!!
Glad to see your post today. I think at times we are all "drama lovers"....lol...life isn't life without drama in it. Anyway, hope you remember we are all here to support you through what ever just like you have been here to support us. Hope to see you soon at a Glen Burnie meeting. It was nice meeting you the last time.
Dear Dan, You have obviously been a very good and special person to a number of people. It was very selfless and caring for you to support them the way that you did. I am sorry for all of your losses. Please don't beat yourself up about the weight fluctuation. You sound like you have a handle on this and you will be fine. I agree with the prior advice that you need to take some time to take care of yourself. During this time, if you need us, we are here for you. Debbie
First off Dan let me say that you seem like a very genuine and special friend. They were both lucky to have you in their life. What you did for your neighbor is so touching. Giving all that you have been enduring, it is no wonder you picked up 15 pounds. When your mindset is back in place those pounds will drop off. You have been working on overtime. That is a lot to go through in such a short amount of time. Keep your head held high. ((((((((Dan))))))))) ~Jilly~
Dan,
Welcome back!! You are indeed a special person you apparently give of yourself to so many and you should be proud of that. I am sorry you have had so many losses over the summer but on the same hand I am happy that you did get some enjoyment with the cruise. Like Terri said we are all here for you. I look forward to meeting you in person soon and hope you are able to start the Glen Burnie Support Group again,I know there are alot of people in the area especially some new post ops that really are need of a local support group. Hugs,
Terri
Welcome back!! You are indeed a special person you apparently give of yourself to so many and you should be proud of that. I am sorry you have had so many losses over the summer but on the same hand I am happy that you did get some enjoyment with the cruise. Like Terri said we are all here for you. I look forward to meeting you in person soon and hope you are able to start the Glen Burnie Support Group again,I know there are alot of people in the area especially some new post ops that really are need of a local support group. Hugs,
Terri
Taking the Journey One Day at a Time!Terri 
Dan, Sweetie- you deserve a big hug. I hope to see you soon so I can give it to you in person.
I also haven't been able to post much this summer. I spent most of the summer running my daughter in law back and forth to the ER or hosital for various things. I also had to move my office suddenly which caused me to get very ill from breathing in all of the dust. On July 19th, we got the call that a heart was ready and waiting. The transplant was a success. The past 6 weeks have been much the same as my daughter in law has been healing from this surgery. I also took on a new position with the school system so I have been learning that job at the same time. I am a specialist in the Related Services Division now. I am learning about supervising staff as well.
I am going back to work this morning after taking a much needed long weekend. I was very lazy for the entire 5 days reading and watching videos and SLEEPING! Back to work this morning.
I hope you have a great school year. and once again.. hugs sweetie.
I also haven't been able to post much this summer. I spent most of the summer running my daughter in law back and forth to the ER or hosital for various things. I also had to move my office suddenly which caused me to get very ill from breathing in all of the dust. On July 19th, we got the call that a heart was ready and waiting. The transplant was a success. The past 6 weeks have been much the same as my daughter in law has been healing from this surgery. I also took on a new position with the school system so I have been learning that job at the same time. I am a specialist in the Related Services Division now. I am learning about supervising staff as well.
I am going back to work this morning after taking a much needed long weekend. I was very lazy for the entire 5 days reading and watching videos and SLEEPING! Back to work this morning.
I hope you have a great school year. and once again.. hugs sweetie.
Aime
The love of my OH Family has me humbled!!!!
i hope that the kindness that you have shown the people in your life that has passed will help the pain the passing caused. without you, your next door neighbors passing would have been so much worse for her and her family. you did a good thing and it is more than normal to be sad and grieve. glad to see you are reaching out by posting. this board has lots of people here to help the other.
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