Good News and Some Not So Good News !!!
Hi everyone,
4 months from today will be Christmas, are you all ready ?? Now past the humor ?, I need to vent. My son was home over the weekend for a very very short visit,as it always seems to be, but he can go to where his wife's family is and vist 4-5 days. Sorry, I got off track. My son is taking computer college courses and he said he is now studying nutrition. Why I do not know, but anyway, he told me that he has read where there have been so many people dying from having this surgery. I told him any surgery is risky, so what was his point ? He then proceeded to tell me that if I do no****ch what I eat, that I can gain it all back and that you have to excersise all the time. So my point is through all of this, he made me feel so down in the dumps and I thought where is any encourgement here ?? He just went on and on basically putting me down for all that he has read about. I wonder how much he has read? I was so upset, that I could have slapped him into next Sunday, but because the kids were here too, I chose not to. My youngest son has been so great about all that I am doing to get ready for this, and that really helps. However, the oldest son really ticked me off. He was acting like because he is taking this course, that he KNOWS more. We do not need to hear negative things while preparing for surgery.I know he has not read half as much as I have or talked to surgeons, and people who have had this done. Am I just being to sensitive ? My son has changed so much since he left home, and really shows no interest in his side of the family. I am NOT going to tell him anymore about what I am doing, and when my surgery is going to be. I am done with him in this respect.
I am sorry to go on, but I am just upset. You know, I did tell my husband, if I do not make it through surgery, DON'T call our oldest son, he did not care before I had surgery, don't call him now. I want no tears from him once he does find out.
Good News Is: I have my appt.for my psy. eval. on Sept. 17 and an appt with a dietician at Bayview On Sept. 3rd. SO thing are moving right along, I just wish the time would go a little faster. Thanks for letting me vent. I will be more pleasant next time I post. Have a great week .
Ellen (Oma1950)
4 months from today will be Christmas, are you all ready ?? Now past the humor ?, I need to vent. My son was home over the weekend for a very very short visit,as it always seems to be, but he can go to where his wife's family is and vist 4-5 days. Sorry, I got off track. My son is taking computer college courses and he said he is now studying nutrition. Why I do not know, but anyway, he told me that he has read where there have been so many people dying from having this surgery. I told him any surgery is risky, so what was his point ? He then proceeded to tell me that if I do no****ch what I eat, that I can gain it all back and that you have to excersise all the time. So my point is through all of this, he made me feel so down in the dumps and I thought where is any encourgement here ?? He just went on and on basically putting me down for all that he has read about. I wonder how much he has read? I was so upset, that I could have slapped him into next Sunday, but because the kids were here too, I chose not to. My youngest son has been so great about all that I am doing to get ready for this, and that really helps. However, the oldest son really ticked me off. He was acting like because he is taking this course, that he KNOWS more. We do not need to hear negative things while preparing for surgery.I know he has not read half as much as I have or talked to surgeons, and people who have had this done. Am I just being to sensitive ? My son has changed so much since he left home, and really shows no interest in his side of the family. I am NOT going to tell him anymore about what I am doing, and when my surgery is going to be. I am done with him in this respect.
I am sorry to go on, but I am just upset. You know, I did tell my husband, if I do not make it through surgery, DON'T call our oldest son, he did not care before I had surgery, don't call him now. I want no tears from him once he does find out.
Good News Is: I have my appt.for my psy. eval. on Sept. 17 and an appt with a dietician at Bayview On Sept. 3rd. SO thing are moving right along, I just wish the time would go a little faster. Thanks for letting me vent. I will be more pleasant next time I post. Have a great week .
Ellen (Oma1950)
Hi Ellen,
Unfortunately you will get a lot of that from plenty of people. My oldest daughter was the same but told me why am I going to have surgery to die and leave everyone without a mother? It was upsetting and insensitive but it was her ingnorance talking. She had not researched it and was talking from only the negative things that she had heard from other people talking.
Your son does care he is just caring in his way and it hurts when our children do not support us the way we want to. Just tell your son that you appreciate all that he is saying but that you have made this decision to have WLS for you and you would appreciate he supports you in your decision and leave it at that.
I wrote a very in depth letter for my daughter incase I didn't make it through surgery. Thank goodness my husband never had to give it to her.
Now a days she tells me how great I am doing and how proud she is of me. She is a big girl and although surgery scares her she has thought about it and mentioned it to me. Right now she is 5 months pregnant and is worried about how much she has gained. Hopefully in the future she will find a way to lose weight or maybe have the surgery.
One thing I have learned to do is to stop people dead in their tracks if they have nothing positive to say.
On your good news glad that everything is moving along nicely. keep us posted.
Hugs,
Unfortunately you will get a lot of that from plenty of people. My oldest daughter was the same but told me why am I going to have surgery to die and leave everyone without a mother? It was upsetting and insensitive but it was her ingnorance talking. She had not researched it and was talking from only the negative things that she had heard from other people talking.
Your son does care he is just caring in his way and it hurts when our children do not support us the way we want to. Just tell your son that you appreciate all that he is saying but that you have made this decision to have WLS for you and you would appreciate he supports you in your decision and leave it at that.
I wrote a very in depth letter for my daughter incase I didn't make it through surgery. Thank goodness my husband never had to give it to her.
Now a days she tells me how great I am doing and how proud she is of me. She is a big girl and although surgery scares her she has thought about it and mentioned it to me. Right now she is 5 months pregnant and is worried about how much she has gained. Hopefully in the future she will find a way to lose weight or maybe have the surgery.
One thing I have learned to do is to stop people dead in their tracks if they have nothing positive to say.
On your good news glad that everything is moving along nicely. keep us posted.
Hugs,
I am who I am and accept my feelings wholeheartedly.
Those that mind don't matter, and those that matter don't mind.
Cira 249/144.0 current/goal 154/ 5'3" 10 lbs below my Dr's goal
Ellen:
I agree with Cira, that your son is probably very worried about your decision. Sometimes men manifest their emotions in different ways and often it means shutting down. It seems that he has done his homework. There are people that die (mainly because of issues they have pre-surgery) and people that gain all of their weight back. Exercise is important in this journey, but WLS gives us the tool to make the changes.
I agree with Cira, that your son is probably very worried about your decision. Sometimes men manifest their emotions in different ways and often it means shutting down. It seems that he has done his homework. There are people that die (mainly because of issues they have pre-surgery) and people that gain all of their weight back. Exercise is important in this journey, but WLS gives us the tool to make the changes.
Lisa Z.
When we believe, all things are possible!
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