from my blog...
I posted this on my blog but am really feeling down on myself right now....and anyway...this is what I wrote...
Okay, 12 years ago I was about 60 pounds lighter and met my boyfriend, well in the course of 12 years, I have gained 60 pounds and lost all of my self esteem thanks to him...he has put me down to the point I no longer feel good about myself....now he keeps telling me, all you need to do is exercise more, and eat better...no, that's not all I need to do...I am just feeling pretty worthless about myself rigt now...but am hoping that when I get my surgery, I can start to rebuild my self esteem and be on my own....
Okay, 12 years ago I was about 60 pounds lighter and met my boyfriend, well in the course of 12 years, I have gained 60 pounds and lost all of my self esteem thanks to him...he has put me down to the point I no longer feel good about myself....now he keeps telling me, all you need to do is exercise more, and eat better...no, that's not all I need to do...I am just feeling pretty worthless about myself rigt now...but am hoping that when I get my surgery, I can start to rebuild my self esteem and be on my own....
Char, I'm sorry if this is too blunt, but you've "known" me for a bit on a different forum and I'm quite direct - I don't think the surgery alone will fix your self esteem issues. how about you get rid of the 200# guy that calls himself your bf and surround yourself with people who don't want to tear you down, and who accept you for who you are... Personally it sounds like he's insecure about himself and putting him down makes him feel better... don't listen to him.
Good Evening,
No man should have that kind of control. That being said I have been there done that and still dealing with my issues. I had EX who use to tell me I was fat and ugly and that noone would love me. I was stupid and the only reason he was with me was because he felt sorry for me. I am now engaged to a man who loves me for me and is by my side no matter what I do and actual calls me beauitful. He tells me how pretty I am I act like whatever becasue I do not beleive him. I hope to get over that some day
If this bf of your's has nothing nice to say then lets beat him up. Girl do yourself a favor and stand up for yourself and prove him wrong.
You are in my thoughts and prayers
Kellie
No man should have that kind of control. That being said I have been there done that and still dealing with my issues. I had EX who use to tell me I was fat and ugly and that noone would love me. I was stupid and the only reason he was with me was because he felt sorry for me. I am now engaged to a man who loves me for me and is by my side no matter what I do and actual calls me beauitful. He tells me how pretty I am I act like whatever becasue I do not beleive him. I hope to get over that some day
If this bf of your's has nothing nice to say then lets beat him up. Girl do yourself a favor and stand up for yourself and prove him wrong.
You are in my thoughts and prayers
Kellie
((((CHAR))))
You are by no means worthless and let NO ONE and I mean NO ONE, EVER make you feel this way. There is no other human being that should make you feel that way, and don't let it happen. You are headed in the right direction. You are doing this WLS for YOU and no one else. You want to be healthy and you have already started to live again. You are walking and you are here for support. Will you rebuild your self esteem, NO cause you have always had it, you just need to start wearing. You are a beautiful woman, you just don't see it right now. If we let others break us down, you will not see anything but the neg. side of everything.
Will you "be on your own", YES! You are going to want to live and surround yourself with positive people. Once you are healthy again, EVERYTHING is going to need to be healthy and that includes all your relationship and friends.....etc.................
I am going to pm you my numbers and e-mail. You are a strong woman, you just need to pull her out. You are walking now, where did you get her from? Food for thought?
As for the boyfriend, I feel a road trip coming on and a shovel!
Stay positive, keep it real and know that maybe right now you do not see the light at the end of the tunnel but soon you will need shades.
Please know that you are loved and we love your support here!
Hugs Kristen
OK a little Birdie told me you needed one of my smiles, it is the best I can do at 6:30am, so here is a cheesy one from last night!
You are by no means worthless and let NO ONE and I mean NO ONE, EVER make you feel this way. There is no other human being that should make you feel that way, and don't let it happen. You are headed in the right direction. You are doing this WLS for YOU and no one else. You want to be healthy and you have already started to live again. You are walking and you are here for support. Will you rebuild your self esteem, NO cause you have always had it, you just need to start wearing. You are a beautiful woman, you just don't see it right now. If we let others break us down, you will not see anything but the neg. side of everything.
Will you "be on your own", YES! You are going to want to live and surround yourself with positive people. Once you are healthy again, EVERYTHING is going to need to be healthy and that includes all your relationship and friends.....etc.................
I am going to pm you my numbers and e-mail. You are a strong woman, you just need to pull her out. You are walking now, where did you get her from? Food for thought?
As for the boyfriend, I feel a road trip coming on and a shovel!
Stay positive, keep it real and know that maybe right now you do not see the light at the end of the tunnel but soon you will need shades.
Please know that you are loved and we love your support here!
Hugs Kristen
OK a little Birdie told me you needed one of my smiles, it is the best I can do at 6:30am, so here is a cheesy one from last night!
I'm in on that road trip Kristin!!!!!!!!!!!
Char please do your best to recognize that he is tearing you down to make himself feel better, period. You are a gorgeous,wonderful person just as you are. You need to tune him out! I know it's hard, but it can be done. I worked in a job for many years that tore me down and made me feel I should be grateful to be there because no one else would want me. After listening to my friends, I realized they did that because they wanted me all to themselves, and didn't want to pay the money I'm worth. I finally left, got a better job and where I'm at now thinks I am awesome, and i"m a 'go-to' person. but i could not have done that without reaching out to my friends for support and truly listening to them. A true friend will tell you the truth, regardless of what you want to hear and that's what we're doing here. Believe us when we tell you that the problem is not you, it's him.
I've got a shovel..... hee hee
Char please do your best to recognize that he is tearing you down to make himself feel better, period. You are a gorgeous,wonderful person just as you are. You need to tune him out! I know it's hard, but it can be done. I worked in a job for many years that tore me down and made me feel I should be grateful to be there because no one else would want me. After listening to my friends, I realized they did that because they wanted me all to themselves, and didn't want to pay the money I'm worth. I finally left, got a better job and where I'm at now thinks I am awesome, and i"m a 'go-to' person. but i could not have done that without reaching out to my friends for support and truly listening to them. A true friend will tell you the truth, regardless of what you want to hear and that's what we're doing here. Believe us when we tell you that the problem is not you, it's him.
I've got a shovel..... hee hee
Char,
I can only say I totally agree with Kristen, she gave such words of wisdom to live by The positive side of this is a boyfriend and not a husband therefore to get rid of him is much easier!!! Give yourself credit for not marrying him!!! I am going to PM you my numbers, please give me a call so we can get together and talk.
Remember you are a wonderful beautiful woman and no one can change that!!
Hugs,
Terri
I can only say I totally agree with Kristen, she gave such words of wisdom to live by The positive side of this is a boyfriend and not a husband therefore to get rid of him is much easier!!! Give yourself credit for not marrying him!!! I am going to PM you my numbers, please give me a call so we can get together and talk.
Remember you are a wonderful beautiful woman and no one can change that!!
Hugs,
Terri
Taking the Journey One Day at a Time!Terri 
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