I LOVE MY...

MOM!!!

I am still being secretive about my decision to have WLS. I have not told any of my friends. Until today, I had only told my husband.  I called my mom today and told her that I saw my PCP yesterday to talk to him about "stuff". Of course she wanted me to elaborate. I told her that I brought up the subject of WLS with my doctor and my mom was sooooooooo happy. I couldn't believe it. Of course, she'll be worried about me having surgery but she was thrilled that I will have this opportunity to have a better life for myself and my daughter.

Is WLS really growing into something that is more acceptable? Because I have been so afraid to bring it up to anyone I know. I feel like they will judge me. Few people would understand why we choose to do this.

But anyway, I just wanted to say that I have the greatest mom ever. I'm so glad that I have her as part of my support system!!

You are so blessed!

I know if my Mom would have been here should would have been supporting me every step of the way.

But you are right many people are negative about WLS but it is now more known than before. But you still do get a great share of negativity from those that are not educated on the subject.

Best of luck in your journey.

My parents were beyond thrilled when I told them.  They wanted me to be healthier, period.  They knew I was not healthy the way I was.  My entire family has been overly supportive. 

I've told pretty much everyone.  No one has been negative. 

Plus, how could I hide or explain that I've lost 132 in a little over 4 months? 

And remember, other health issues may come up that require you to tell people, especially if you have complications. 

I'm glad your mom was so supportive!

I am so glad you have the support that you do.  Not everyone does. I didn't tell anyone, other then fiance because we live together, until a week before my surgery.  I just had the feeling if I let everyone know, I would jinx myself.  When I told my mom, she wasn't thrilled, she actually said I was crazy, but I think she didn't understand how far the surgery has come over the years.  Now that I have had it done, she is more supportive and very happy for me.  She loves the way I look when she see's me and is very proud of me.  Everyone in my family and my friends are all supportive of the decision I made and glad to see I am doing well and that I am happy.  Who you tell and when you tell is your choice.  Just like having the surgery is YOUR choice.  Eventually they will understand and things will go great.

I can totally relate when it comes to having a loving supportive parent.  I was skeptical about telling my father about my decision to have WLS.  He is 74 years old and I was absolutely sure he would try to talk me out of it.  I figured because of his age, he would be less understanding about the need to do this.  I had always heard from him and others his age, that all I needed to do was stop eating and be more active and the weight would melt away, so when I got the response that I did from him, I was flabbergasted, and for those of you who know me, that is not something easy to accomplish.  When I told him that I had went to an informational seminar about WLS he was thrilled!  He told me how proud of me he was that I was making the decision to better my life and that he knew that I woud be a success.

I did although lose a friend, who turned out not to be a friend, through all of this.  I considered myself her DUFF (Designated Ugly Fat Friend).  I felt that she kept me around to make herself feel better.  When we would do things together, she loved the fact that she was getting the attention from men and not me.  I always contributed it to my weight and therefore accepted it.  When I started mentioning WLS to her, she was nothing but critical about my decision.  It had nothing to do with that she may have been worried about me having surgery, it all was to do with she felt that she no longer would be the center of attention and she realized that I would no longer be able to be considered her DUFF.  It took alot of mentioning from other people for me to realize what type of person she is and that she would only sabotage any sort of weight loss attempt and any attempt at bettering myself.

I had to realize to be successful in this and in everything in my life I had to eliminate any negativity and allow only positive reinforcement in my life.  

Support is everything when it comes to this, I was fortunate to have it, and I consider myself fortunate to have had this negative friend.  She made me realize that not everyone is looking out for you and your well being and now I know going forward what type of people I want in my life and what type of people to avoid, I can thank her for that!

 

I did although lose a friend, who turned out not to be a friend, through all of this.  I considered myself her DUFF (Designated Ugly Fat Friend).  I felt that she kept me around to make herself feel better.   Whew, boy I've had a friend or two like that as well. 

So far I have chosen to tell no one in my immediate family, friends or work.  I do talk about WLS with a co worker who had lap band about 2 months ago but I'm not even sharing with her my decision and that I'm proceeding with the surgery. I just don't want to have to explain over and over to people why I'm doing this.  So we'll see how long I can keep it to myself.  Cause I am pretty darned excited about it!!!     

I'm with you - I love my mom too!  She is my bestest friend ever. When I approached the subject of WLS with her a long time ago she said "your sister has thought about it too."  We didn't go into much detail but I do feel as if I have her support should I make that decision.  That same sister; however, worries me... she can be very critical of me even though she's larger than me.  i guess because she's my older sister she always knows better, right? LOL.  But she also doesn't have the health complications that I do - diabetic, joints, etc.

Many of my co-workers know I'm researching WLS and are very supportive.

My friends are on the fence. When I bring up the subject I hear to not go thru with it - that they know too many people with bad outcomes and that the people look horrible when done.  I ask for specific examples and they can't provide any.  They support me when we do WW together, then 'fail' together, but can' t quite get behind me with WLS.  Again, they don't have the same health issues I do.  And I wonder if they feel they loose a fat friend and that we won't be sharing the same journeys of constant dieting?  Time will tell... as someone said, maybe they aren't true friends? 

I am glad for the support you have received. My Mom would have been happy about my decision and my progress. She always wanted the best for me and rode me about it. It was always hard for me to live up to her expectations. My Mom has been gone for 30 years now (long story). My Dad who has been gone for 11 years would have been my most nurturing. He was always my emotional center, always knew how to say exactly what I needed to hear in the way I needed to hear it. When I made my decision to start pursuing this, I initially only told my closest friend. She actually accompanied me to the seminar. She was as scared as I was immediately after, but always listened and offerred her support no matter what my decision. She is the opposite of me, has trouble gaining weight! Anyway, as I went forward, I did gradually tell more and more people, first immediately family, then friends. I told selected co-workers last, although my boss was told early on. I have been very fortunately to have the utmost level of support from everyone. Even with their support, I do sometimes feel like there are watching my every move. They do not mean anything by it. It is just that self imposed pressure I feel about wanting to be perfect in their eyes. (There was a separate discussion thread on this yesterday.) It is my friends here *****ally understand this whole experience from every angle. I am so glad I found you all.

That is so great. My Mom is very supportive of my decision also. I think a couple of years ago she maybe wouldnt have been but she did some research on her on when I made this decision and she is very excited for me. I know she is tired of seeing my struggle and work so hard at my weight to get nowhere. She also knows that I need to do this not only for my own health but for my daughter as well!!

So congrats! and thats awesome about your mom