Divorce after WLS?
Am I the only person who feels that way?
I see you have Dr. Roe also....excellent doctor!!!! Good-Luck in your journey!
My marriage has gotten only stronger because i feel 100% better about myself physically and even mentally.
But my only problem with the self-esteem theory is that I see more people with low self-esteem cheat on their spouses because they are constantly looking to be validated. They seek "love" where ever they can find it.
Not only love but attention.
You have hit the nail on the head!
I am who I am and accept my feelings wholeheartedly.
Those that mind don't matter, and those that matter don't mind.
Cira 249/144.0 current/goal 154/ 5'3" 10 lbs below my Dr's goal
on 8/4/08 8:10 am - Millersville, MD
my counselor basically agrees with you. he provided two scenarios.
first, obese people are not typically healthy people psychologically. as a result, we tend to get into relationships with others that are not psychologically healthy. when one person makes a major lifestyle change and gets healthy, they often will leave behind the person that is unwilling to make changes in regards to their own problems.
the second scenario was that he believes, as you said, these relationships were in trouble to begin with and obese people tend to blame problems on themselves. therefore, they believe that if they improve themselves, their problems will be solved. however, they soon learn that the problems were not tied to their weight, even if weight was an issue. so, the weight is now gone, but the problems remain.
my husband goes to most of my counseling sessions now and he has come to one of my support group meetings. we have decided that the more involved in my "recovery" he is, the less likely this will occur with us. i was upset with him following my surgery because of some things he failed to do during and immediately following my surgery. however, once we discussed it in counseling, he was shocked to learn that i was upset. he's making much greater effort to understand my post-surgical needs now.
~Shani~
I've been pudgy, chubby, thick, and now fat........Imma give thin a go round!!!
SW-262, size 18W, 5'6"
CW-168 1/15/2010
GW-162
94 Lbs down...6 more to go...changed goal to see Onderland for a hot second!
on 8/4/08 8:33 am - Millersville, MD

I do have a girlfriend that had WLS and left her husband. She was like a 26 startin out. As she started gettin more attention from men she started acting diff towards her hubby, who actually wa a good husband. She eventually left him and her kids when she was a size 10. Haven't talked to her in years. Those are the stories that makes him scared. I already gave my gfs that will know about the surgery permission to slap me if I start talkin crazy!! LOL
~Shani~
I've been pudgy, chubby, thick, and now fat........Imma give thin a go round!!!
SW-262, size 18W, 5'6"
CW-168 1/15/2010
GW-162
94 Lbs down...6 more to go...changed goal to see Onderland for a hot second!
on 8/4/08 8:44 am - Millersville, MD
~Shani~
I've been pudgy, chubby, thick, and now fat........Imma give thin a go round!!!
SW-262, size 18W, 5'6"
CW-168 1/15/2010
GW-162
94 Lbs down...6 more to go...changed goal to see Onderland for a hot second!
on 8/4/08 11:03 pm - Millersville, MD
about five years ago, a friend of ours wanted to see a picture of me from when i was younger. i showed him a picture from when i was about 25. he looks at it and says "man, you were hot." he has never lived down that statement!!