Here's an annoying thing....Just a vent...
OK - so a while back I was out and about on the forums other than MD. Go figure - why bother, right? ;) And I jumped into the singles forum for a bit. While there, I p-mailed a guy in another state in response to some posts he had made. He was a pre-op-er and was voicing concerns about what everyone else in his life thought. So I p-mailed him affirmation that he was a grownup and could research and chose what was best for him. Just positive stuff. So we started emailing/p-mailing. He's single, and started emailing interest in me. Again, he is in another state - not a driving distance state either. We agreed that right now our communications needed to focus on friendship and support surrounding WLS. And if down the road we ever actually met, we'd see what could happen.
We were in touch and I talked him through much of his pre-op process for a couple months. Well, about a month ago I started seeing hot-neighbor-boy. And because I am all about total openness and honesty, I told this guy I was seeing someone, but wanted to continue our WLS friendship. The reply was a very short/moody "good luck with your neighbor" and I have not heard anything from him in over a month.
So what part of "lets focus on being WLS support/friends" wasn't clear? What a big-doody head. I honestly hope his quest is going well and that he is well on his way to surgery. Damn shame he gave up the chance of me being a support through it.
Not sure of the point of the post, just rambling, working on a big project and it crossed my mind so I am putting it out there.
Now back to researching electronic medical records for my report. Yucky. :)
We were in touch and I talked him through much of his pre-op process for a couple months. Well, about a month ago I started seeing hot-neighbor-boy. And because I am all about total openness and honesty, I told this guy I was seeing someone, but wanted to continue our WLS friendship. The reply was a very short/moody "good luck with your neighbor" and I have not heard anything from him in over a month.
So what part of "lets focus on being WLS support/friends" wasn't clear? What a big-doody head. I honestly hope his quest is going well and that he is well on his way to surgery. Damn shame he gave up the chance of me being a support through it.
Not sure of the point of the post, just rambling, working on a big project and it crossed my mind so I am putting it out there.
Now back to researching electronic medical records for my report. Yucky. :)
(deactivated member)
on 7/30/08 5:36 am - Millersville, MD
on 7/30/08 5:36 am - Millersville, MD
i think it's great that he displayed such overwhelming immaturity. now you know to not waste money on a plane ticket in the future if things don't work out with hot neighbor guy!! btw, i dated a hot neighbor guy once. it was fun, but boy did it suck when we broke things off. he was always checking up on everything i did after that.
Staying just friends is easier said than done. From personal experience I have been there, both sides, and usually one person is not able to stop hoping it will be more. It sounds like although he SAID he would keep it as friends-only right now, he really wanted to be much MORE than friends eventually, and had started to romanticize your relationship. He may have become emotionally involved enough that he would get upset if you dated someone else. Maybe his reaction surprised him as well.
Hopefully his taking a break from PM-ing you is just temporary, and that he needed time to pause before saying something really assinine to you out of jealousy, or to figure out why he had that reaction. If you have tried to contact him and he doesn't reconnect with you soon, then you have done all you can do. I wish you luck with both-dating the neighbor and the friendship with the OH guy.
I can really relate to this.
Right now I have a guy friend who is my main WLS support as well as before we pursued WLS, and I too sometimes think we are more than friends. He is single and heterosexual, but says he wants to keep it at friendship, not more, and loves being my friend. I struggle periodically with my wanting it to progress to a romantic relationship and sometimes I still think that when we both have lost our weight we will magically become a couple because we have fallen for each other. Other times I am glad it's just friends. I need periodic reality checks! If he dated someone besides me I would be happy for him but sad as well. I hope your WLS friend can accept whatever you are offering him and not hope for more. Hugs,
Hopefully his taking a break from PM-ing you is just temporary, and that he needed time to pause before saying something really assinine to you out of jealousy, or to figure out why he had that reaction. If you have tried to contact him and he doesn't reconnect with you soon, then you have done all you can do. I wish you luck with both-dating the neighbor and the friendship with the OH guy.
I can really relate to this.
Right now I have a guy friend who is my main WLS support as well as before we pursued WLS, and I too sometimes think we are more than friends. He is single and heterosexual, but says he wants to keep it at friendship, not more, and loves being my friend. I struggle periodically with my wanting it to progress to a romantic relationship and sometimes I still think that when we both have lost our weight we will magically become a couple because we have fallen for each other. Other times I am glad it's just friends. I need periodic reality checks! If he dated someone besides me I would be happy for him but sad as well. I hope your WLS friend can accept whatever you are offering him and not hope for more. Hugs,
Jennifer,
I swear you are reading my life's story somewhere!!! Where is it? I want a royalty! LOL I have beenthere so many times. Had my heart broken so many times. I keep myself locked up in my apartment to this day other than to come to work. I am an emotional person although it may not appear that way on the outside. The thing is, you let your mind wander to the land of what ifs and play out things there. Hope for the best but get the worst. That he been the recurring theme in my life. I've always been single and probably will continue that way.
I swear you are reading my life's story somewhere!!! Where is it? I want a royalty! LOL I have beenthere so many times. Had my heart broken so many times. I keep myself locked up in my apartment to this day other than to come to work. I am an emotional person although it may not appear that way on the outside. The thing is, you let your mind wander to the land of what ifs and play out things there. Hope for the best but get the worst. That he been the recurring theme in my life. I've always been single and probably will continue that way.
Did you just say you keep yourself locked away at home and don't go to work because of a broken heart? I'm wondering what you mean...is there someone at your work who broke your heart, or are you home on disability due to the medical condition known as severe recurrent broken heart syndrome with paranoid features?
Let's you and me both get the heck out and meet some people. LOL! I just can't belive i wrote all that on the internet. I just edited the post in case my friend reads it and thinks I'm nuts.
Let's you and me both get the heck out and meet some people. LOL! I just can't belive i wrote all that on the internet. I just edited the post in case my friend reads it and thinks I'm nuts.
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