Really Ticked Off (sorry so long)
Dan: Thank you so much for your post. Like everyone else who has replied, I need to keep tellilng myself that I am special. being only a little over 3 months out, I am finding it difficult to deal with many issues. But, I think that if I can keep telling myself that I am special and that I DESERVE the happiness that I am finding, things will work out in the end. Thanks again dan and many blessings upon you! Deb
Dan:
Thank you so much for posting. Much of what you said rings true for me. Since surgery, my husband calls me a ***** I think the surgery not only changed my stomach, but my mind. I feel that I will no longer make myself the martyr. I am being selfish for the first time in my life. Not because I want to hurt others, but because I need to make myself better. I am, for the first time, taking time to enjoy myself and do things with the friends that I have made; not the friends that he has and I tag along. I know that this is a journey to make myself a better, healthier person. I am going to enjoy this time and myself and continue to grow and hope that my husband grows along with me. I am sure that he is feeling left out, but there are things that I want to do and he doesn't. So instead of not doing them, as I have done in the past, I am finding ways of doing them by myself. I love my husband and I will continue to try to instill in him that I am not growing away from him, only growing stronger.
Thank you so much for posting. Much of what you said rings true for me. Since surgery, my husband calls me a ***** I think the surgery not only changed my stomach, but my mind. I feel that I will no longer make myself the martyr. I am being selfish for the first time in my life. Not because I want to hurt others, but because I need to make myself better. I am, for the first time, taking time to enjoy myself and do things with the friends that I have made; not the friends that he has and I tag along. I know that this is a journey to make myself a better, healthier person. I am going to enjoy this time and myself and continue to grow and hope that my husband grows along with me. I am sure that he is feeling left out, but there are things that I want to do and he doesn't. So instead of not doing them, as I have done in the past, I am finding ways of doing them by myself. I love my husband and I will continue to try to instill in him that I am not growing away from him, only growing stronger.
Lisa Z.
When we believe, all things are possible!
(((((((((((DAN)))))))))))))
I struggle with being on the outside looking in.....I'm still struggling with it and pretty much determined that I'm going to be a hermit for the rest of my life whether I'm fat or thin. I dunno......maybe I need to see a shrink. There's just days I get depressed and there's nothing I can really do. I've already turned my emotional eating off. It's nice to know that I'm not alone (although my last close friend just moved away).
Thanks for the pick-me-up
I struggle with being on the outside looking in.....I'm still struggling with it and pretty much determined that I'm going to be a hermit for the rest of my life whether I'm fat or thin. I dunno......maybe I need to see a shrink. There's just days I get depressed and there's nothing I can really do. I've already turned my emotional eating off. It's nice to know that I'm not alone (although my last close friend just moved away).
Thanks for the pick-me-up
Hi Dan!
Before I get into this - how's the new cookbook coming? I look forward to taking a look!! Be sure to keep us posted, please.
As far as what Cira said, she certainly doesn't need me to defend her, but I think what she said was misunderstood. As a post-op who experienced more than her share of complications and other issues, Cira certainly understands the day-to-day challenges that post-ops, new or older, face, trans-addictions, mental issues, etc.
However, I think what she's referring to is the content of some of the posts that really aren't wls related and are more insider-jokish, etc. I know I have been guilty of that, and we all need to remember that this is a public forum - if you don't want family, friends or co-workers knowing your business, it shouldn't be posted here.
As I said, I myself, am guilty of some of this and am going to try to remember that PM's (Private Messages), are the appropriate place for some of these types of comments, as are some of the other boards - the Rants & Raves Board, the Sex Board, etc.
I'm no prude, and am certainly confident in my sexuality, if nothing else, but personally, I don't feel the need to share it with all and sundry!!! That's all she was saying!!! Cira is an integral part of this board and she was talking about not posting anymore because she was not liking the direction in which the board seemed to be headed.
Hopefully, we've cleared this up and have avoided ANYONE leaving what I consider to be the most supportive board here on OH!
Thanks,
Tia
Before I get into this - how's the new cookbook coming? I look forward to taking a look!! Be sure to keep us posted, please.
As far as what Cira said, she certainly doesn't need me to defend her, but I think what she said was misunderstood. As a post-op who experienced more than her share of complications and other issues, Cira certainly understands the day-to-day challenges that post-ops, new or older, face, trans-addictions, mental issues, etc.
However, I think what she's referring to is the content of some of the posts that really aren't wls related and are more insider-jokish, etc. I know I have been guilty of that, and we all need to remember that this is a public forum - if you don't want family, friends or co-workers knowing your business, it shouldn't be posted here.
As I said, I myself, am guilty of some of this and am going to try to remember that PM's (Private Messages), are the appropriate place for some of these types of comments, as are some of the other boards - the Rants & Raves Board, the Sex Board, etc.
I'm no prude, and am certainly confident in my sexuality, if nothing else, but personally, I don't feel the need to share it with all and sundry!!! That's all she was saying!!! Cira is an integral part of this board and she was talking about not posting anymore because she was not liking the direction in which the board seemed to be headed.
Hopefully, we've cleared this up and have avoided ANYONE leaving what I consider to be the most supportive board here on OH!
Thanks,
Tia
Oh Tia, but I enjoy the all and sundry. Cira knows as well as i do these boards peak and trough - we may be in the gutter one day and all pristine and holy the next. Cira is a great part of this board - she's just speaking her mind like the rest of us do - it's what makes us who we are. We all have a HUGE thing bonding us -that won't change. At a party we may never otherwise have meshed formally, but now we have a commonality....
Peace
E
Peace
E
Ellen -
I agree, having rolled in the gutter and floated above the clouds myself!!
We just don't need any drama on this board like there is on the other boards.
BTW, your signature reminded of a t-shirt I saw at the beach, "Love, Peace & Chicken Grease" LOL!!! I don't know what the front said, it may have been related to a restaurant, but I immediately thought of you.
T
I agree, having rolled in the gutter and floated above the clouds myself!!
We just don't need any drama on this board like there is on the other boards.
BTW, your signature reminded of a t-shirt I saw at the beach, "Love, Peace & Chicken Grease" LOL!!! I don't know what the front said, it may have been related to a restaurant, but I immediately thought of you.
T
Hi everyone!
Oh Dan, did you hit the nail on the head for me when you said about being the life of the party, best friend, always doing for others and SETTLING!! I have been heavy most of my life but I covered my physical inadequencies by trying to please everyone and being the most caring person I could be. I always settled whether it was with a man or job, etc. I neglected ME and who I really was! Yes, I am the caring, loving and always there for you person and that is not a bad thing and won't change if I am heavy or thin! Yes, I am overweight and that limits my physical abilities but I am not LAZY (as alot of people presume)or not capable of being hurt by others and their actions or comments towards me. When I started dating again after my divorce I once had a man tell me how much he liked me but he couldn't get serious with a woman that was bigger than him!! WHAT was that all about? I was still the person he liked wherther I was heavier than him or not! I love people and am an outgoing friendly person-am I this way because of never feeling good enough on the outside because of my weight, I don't know...I DO know I do not deserve to be judged by my "thickness"!!
I hope to have the Lap-Band surgery approval from my insurance company very shortly. I hope being "thinner" will not change the person I am on the inside. I DO hope it will help me to be more physically active and enjoy activities that the outside life can offer.
I am a "newbie" to this forum and I have been so grateful to all the people who share their experiences good and bad. You all are an inspiration to me and I am so looking forward to new friendships that this forum will provide to me. I have people in my life that don't understand the need to have surgery but these people have never had a weight problem. So sharing thoughts with those of you who are pre-surgery and post-surgery is so very important to us "newbies"!
Always remember God made each of us special whether we are big or little!
Thanks to each of you for being special to me! Debbie
Oh Dan, did you hit the nail on the head for me when you said about being the life of the party, best friend, always doing for others and SETTLING!! I have been heavy most of my life but I covered my physical inadequencies by trying to please everyone and being the most caring person I could be. I always settled whether it was with a man or job, etc. I neglected ME and who I really was! Yes, I am the caring, loving and always there for you person and that is not a bad thing and won't change if I am heavy or thin! Yes, I am overweight and that limits my physical abilities but I am not LAZY (as alot of people presume)or not capable of being hurt by others and their actions or comments towards me. When I started dating again after my divorce I once had a man tell me how much he liked me but he couldn't get serious with a woman that was bigger than him!! WHAT was that all about? I was still the person he liked wherther I was heavier than him or not! I love people and am an outgoing friendly person-am I this way because of never feeling good enough on the outside because of my weight, I don't know...I DO know I do not deserve to be judged by my "thickness"!!
I hope to have the Lap-Band surgery approval from my insurance company very shortly. I hope being "thinner" will not change the person I am on the inside. I DO hope it will help me to be more physically active and enjoy activities that the outside life can offer.
I am a "newbie" to this forum and I have been so grateful to all the people who share their experiences good and bad. You all are an inspiration to me and I am so looking forward to new friendships that this forum will provide to me. I have people in my life that don't understand the need to have surgery but these people have never had a weight problem. So sharing thoughts with those of you who are pre-surgery and post-surgery is so very important to us "newbies"!
Always remember God made each of us special whether we are big or little!
Thanks to each of you for being special to me! Debbie
Have a great day! -Antoinette 
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