Really Ticked Off (sorry so long)
I know that I used to be a frequent poster....one who posted at least daily....then it wained to weekly, monthly, and now periodically....but I am definitely a lurker. I read the board at least twice a day and will post if something inspires me to. However, tonight I have decided that I need to get something off my chest.
As heavy people, most of us lived our lives in pursuit of being like, loved, and accepted. We were often the life of the party, the best friend, the person who would do anything for anybody... We did this because most of us by nature are truly empathic, caring people who love to do for others. Sadly, however, we do a lot of what we do for acceptace and sometimes for the sake of settling. We feel that we will take whatever we can get because we don't deserve better.
Well, whether it is before or after surgery.....there is nothing further from the truth. We ALWAYS deserve better. We deserve the love, sensitivity, compassion, support, ect..that we give.
Why do I bring this up.....because after surgery, a lot of us still deal with the demon of thin on the outside, but fat on the inside. We forever see ourselves...not as we are....but as we were.... thus, we are willing to accept what we can get...as opposed to what we deserve.
I had a student, seven years ago in class, who was told she was worthless and that she would never amount to anything. I told her to disregard that thought process and to strive to be the person she wanted to be. At her graduation party, I was in the back of the room...and she asked for everybody's attention. When they gave it to her, she said that she had a special presentation to make to somebody very special. She took out a beautiful bouquet of flowers and said that each flower represented something special in the garden of her life and that she would like to share this garden with that person who helped her cultivate it. She then called me up. I was so suprised...shocked...and honored.... However, her parents then came up and said that they had a special gift that they wanted me to open. When I opened it... there was a beautiful silver photo frame. Her mother then read what was engraved on the four sides of the frame.... EVERY DAY......IN EVERY WAY.... I AM A SPECIAL PEARSON....and the date. Her mother went on to say that every day for a year...she heard her daughter say these words at least five or six times a day... She finally asked what it meant...and the girl said... a special teacher said this once in class and it helped me to realize that I am special...
I want us to remember this too....... EVERY DAY..IN EVERY WAY... I AM A SPECIAL PERSON. We need to remember this, because we truly are special. Each of us has talents, gifts, and skills that makes us special. We need to realize this and excel and share these gifts.
SADLY, however, there are those who pray upon us at our weakest. Knowing what we want to hear... knowing what we want to feel..there are those out there who try to sabatoge our success.. Offering food, treats, cigarettes, alcohol, or whatever "vice" might tempt us so that they get their way. When these tempations are before us, we need to remember that we deserve better.
It is my wish for each of you *****ad that you remember how truly special you are!!!! Don't let others make you feel less then you are... You are each wonderful. You are each a gift from God. You are each a flower in the garden of our lives.
As heavy people, most of us lived our lives in pursuit of being like, loved, and accepted. We were often the life of the party, the best friend, the person who would do anything for anybody... We did this because most of us by nature are truly empathic, caring people who love to do for others. Sadly, however, we do a lot of what we do for acceptace and sometimes for the sake of settling. We feel that we will take whatever we can get because we don't deserve better.
Well, whether it is before or after surgery.....there is nothing further from the truth. We ALWAYS deserve better. We deserve the love, sensitivity, compassion, support, ect..that we give.
Why do I bring this up.....because after surgery, a lot of us still deal with the demon of thin on the outside, but fat on the inside. We forever see ourselves...not as we are....but as we were.... thus, we are willing to accept what we can get...as opposed to what we deserve.
I had a student, seven years ago in class, who was told she was worthless and that she would never amount to anything. I told her to disregard that thought process and to strive to be the person she wanted to be. At her graduation party, I was in the back of the room...and she asked for everybody's attention. When they gave it to her, she said that she had a special presentation to make to somebody very special. She took out a beautiful bouquet of flowers and said that each flower represented something special in the garden of her life and that she would like to share this garden with that person who helped her cultivate it. She then called me up. I was so suprised...shocked...and honored.... However, her parents then came up and said that they had a special gift that they wanted me to open. When I opened it... there was a beautiful silver photo frame. Her mother then read what was engraved on the four sides of the frame.... EVERY DAY......IN EVERY WAY.... I AM A SPECIAL PEARSON....and the date. Her mother went on to say that every day for a year...she heard her daughter say these words at least five or six times a day... She finally asked what it meant...and the girl said... a special teacher said this once in class and it helped me to realize that I am special...
I want us to remember this too....... EVERY DAY..IN EVERY WAY... I AM A SPECIAL PERSON. We need to remember this, because we truly are special. Each of us has talents, gifts, and skills that makes us special. We need to realize this and excel and share these gifts.
SADLY, however, there are those who pray upon us at our weakest. Knowing what we want to hear... knowing what we want to feel..there are those out there who try to sabatoge our success.. Offering food, treats, cigarettes, alcohol, or whatever "vice" might tempt us so that they get their way. When these tempations are before us, we need to remember that we deserve better.
It is my wish for each of you *****ad that you remember how truly special you are!!!! Don't let others make you feel less then you are... You are each wonderful. You are each a gift from God. You are each a flower in the garden of our lives.
Daniel Patrick Fluharty, NBCT
Be yourself, nobody can tell you that you are doing it wrong!!
YOU are a special person.....and dont let anyboby cause you feel differently. And there was no kick in the butt....there was a shoulder made of sponge to cry on....an ear as big as an elephant's to listen...and a heart as big as some big hearted animal (cant think of one)...to love with.
Daniel Patrick Fluharty, NBCT
Be yourself, nobody can tell you that you are doing it wrong!!
Dan,
I am glad you brought this up! You are right we are special and we DESERVE nothing but the best that life has to offer.
I must say that something has being weighing heavy on my mind for quite a while since there has been a lot that has been posted here the past few weeks.
We are post ops we need to remember that we chose this life altering surgery to better our lives. To be healthier to change in our lives that made us fail before. It has saddened me greatly to see so many posts about wanting to drink, get drunk and so forth. I sometimes wonder what kind of good support this gives to pre ops on the new post ops. Now don't get me wrong we are human and no one here is perfect. We can have some fun there is NOTHING wrong with that.
But this board is a place for support and to help those that are now going through what we posts ops have gone through.
I believe that many of the conversations that has been posted here can be taken off of the forum and saved for personal messages, emails, texts or phone calls. I just don't think that it benefit any of us here.
Ok I am off my soap box.
Thanks for that wonderful post I truly believe you hit the nail on the head!
Take care and thank you for reminding me and everyone else here that we are special.
I am glad you brought this up! You are right we are special and we DESERVE nothing but the best that life has to offer.
I must say that something has being weighing heavy on my mind for quite a while since there has been a lot that has been posted here the past few weeks.
We are post ops we need to remember that we chose this life altering surgery to better our lives. To be healthier to change in our lives that made us fail before. It has saddened me greatly to see so many posts about wanting to drink, get drunk and so forth. I sometimes wonder what kind of good support this gives to pre ops on the new post ops. Now don't get me wrong we are human and no one here is perfect. We can have some fun there is NOTHING wrong with that.
But this board is a place for support and to help those that are now going through what we posts ops have gone through.
I believe that many of the conversations that has been posted here can be taken off of the forum and saved for personal messages, emails, texts or phone calls. I just don't think that it benefit any of us here.
Ok I am off my soap box.
Thanks for that wonderful post I truly believe you hit the nail on the head!
Take care and thank you for reminding me and everyone else here that we are special.
I am who I am and accept my feelings wholeheartedly.
Those that mind don't matter, and those that matter don't mind.
Cira 249/144.0 current/goal 154/ 5'3" 10 lbs below my Dr's goal
Cira, not trying to be "the devil's advocate" here, and while I agree with you that some of the banter here could probably go off board, etc.... for some of the people here, partying was something they missed out on when they were heavier. Either they married early and are now "sowing their oats" or they, due to being heavier, were always on the outside looking in. You are in a very different place than many of the girls here are - you have an infant and young children as well as grown children. I'm in a different place too as many of the girls here are - I also have a husband and family. But I don't think talk of going out and drinking is going to change anyone's opinion about why they are here in the first place. Are these poeple placing one addiction for another - i don't know - time will tell. We all seek out those that are like us - and the pre-ops/post-ops will relate to those most like them, etc.
Peace.
E
Cira,
I agree with you that some posts could be sent as PMs instead.
I do think that this forum is for pre and post ops to support one another, not just for us preops and new ops. Post ops need love too, right?! I am glad that in this forum everyone seems genuine and to welcome meeting new people online and offline. It's refreshing and great to be able to make friends that have also chosen WLS. I agree, Dan hit the nail on the head.
I agree with you that some posts could be sent as PMs instead.
I do think that this forum is for pre and post ops to support one another, not just for us preops and new ops. Post ops need love too, right?! I am glad that in this forum everyone seems genuine and to welcome meeting new people online and offline. It's refreshing and great to be able to make friends that have also chosen WLS. I agree, Dan hit the nail on the head.
Hi Dan.
I too am more of a lurker than a poster. Still just the 'fat chick' hiding in the background I suppose. Your story really touched me -- (oh, and thanks for making my eyes well up here at work -- lol).
I am going to try to keep telling myself that "every day ...in every way...I am a special person". I know I'll be able to tell myself this, but I'll need to work on getting myself to believe it.
Thanks again for sharing that story.
Katherine
I too am more of a lurker than a poster. Still just the 'fat chick' hiding in the background I suppose. Your story really touched me -- (oh, and thanks for making my eyes well up here at work -- lol).
I am going to try to keep telling myself that "every day ...in every way...I am a special person". I know I'll be able to tell myself this, but I'll need to work on getting myself to believe it.
Thanks again for sharing that story.
Katherine
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