GREAT DEBATE #2 Open Marriages

Ok, so I was listening to 106.5 as I was driving into work and they were saying how Will Smith and Jada have an "open marriage."  Can this really work?  without jealousy and emotional hurt? I know Mr Green would come out for me!!!!

As one of the few men here, I'll choose my words carefully.  I think each case is different.  I know men like to talk a lot of smack when it comes to this subject, but I'm curious as to how many of them would be willing to give it a shot after careful consideration.  Emotionally, it can prove to be a rollercoaster.  It CAN ruin a marriage.  Then again, in the right situation, if that's something you're interested in, it can be quite enjoyable and exciting.  Your relationship has to be strong enough to even think about trying it for the first time. I know people that have an open relationship that swear by it, say their marriage has never been stronger. I'm not going to lie, it is something I've thought about MANY times.  The excitement of two women, ah, ........never mind. I'm new here, I'll keep it clean.

i have to kind of agree with andy.  i kow some different couples that have tried it.  some swear by it, some are now divorced.  there is quite a swinger population east of the city (Baltimore).  another point that any alluded to that i found facinating.  in most cases i know of, it was the husband that introduced the idea, but in the cases where it ended in divorce, it was the husband that couldn't handle it.  i think some guy *think* they want something like this and then find out they can't handle it.  i think women sometimes do it to pleave their men, thinking they will try to tolerate it, but then they end up getting more out of it then the men.  these are just my observations though.  i personally feel that unions with children need to just get over it and focus on raising healthy children.

i think you are right about getting over it after you have kids. play before you have kids and after they move out but not while they are there.

I am not a girl that SHARES well!

Well let me chime in on this since I am of an alternative lifestyle.  I have seen polyamorous relationships work tremendously and I know of quite a few that go on around me.  I've also seen it rip people apart and it's VERY ugly when it happens.  I believe that I, myself have the capacity to love more than just one person but to find people of the same mindset is EXTREMELY hard to do.  Free love is an emotionally healthy thing (as long as you play SAFE!!!!!!!).  now I'm not going to start wearing Birkenstocks and eat granola and hug a tree at this point (although a tree might be the closest I ever come to having a significant other LMAO!) but I do believe to be open with your feelings and if that includes showering those feelings on more than one person, don't hold back.

Can it really work? Yes. Does it work for every couple..absolutely not.  And even for the ones that it does work for, that doesn't mean that it works all the time.  There may be someone that you and your partner meet that for some reason causes a spike of jealousy and you have to work it out together.  One thing I have observed over the years is that if a couple's relationship is solid, then it usually works with little problems.  If it is already rocky and they chose to open it up with the thought that it may help things..it's disaster waiting to happen.   In that type of lifestyle communication and understanding each others comfort level is the most important key.  Or so I have heard.  Tina

Two words:  "HE.. NO."  Friends are fine, but no "fringe benefits" on the side.  But I do have one motto that I live for.  When he asks, I never say no.   Tried it when I was younger.  I couldn't deal with it.  I moved on from that relationship very shortly after and it was the best decision that I ever made.  I know it's hard to be with one person for so long.  Believe me, I've had some men friends that I may have considered, but I know how hurt I felt when I was cheated on.  This one is not for me.  Now if I wasn't married and believe me, if this one ever ends, I will never be married again, I think it is okay for you to date more than one person.

I have seen both sides of this and I have seen it cause a couple to grow much closer together and I have also seen divorice take place because of it. Me personally? I don't share....I'm selfish like that.

All I have to say is YES, I separate love from sex....but my husband doesnt............