Curious.......

Good Sunday evening everyone!!!! Hope everyone had a great 4th of July weekend and for those of us who had off on Friday, wasn't it a great long weekend? For those who had to work, I hope ya'll got paid overtime AND holiday pay!!!!  Anyways, I have been thinking about something lately and decided to post it on the board and see what kind of feedback, if any I got on this. I had an interesting conversation with someone about old friendships/relationships (both with friends and family) and how they change after WLS....this is in reference to the friends/family you had before having surgery, not your WLS friends/family. This was my two cents....since my WLS my old friendships have sadly changed. I am almost two years out and I noticed these changes beginning to take place after my one year surgiversary. People would say that I changed, that I was selfish, that I was spending all my time with "THOSE" people (referring to fellow WLSers), and that I didn't have time for them anymore, that I had a dating life and basically wasn't there 24/7 for them anymore. I think that I have realized that in some ways I changed but in other ways I guess I  finally just came into my own. Suddenly, I had a life of my own, new interests, friends, exercise, etc and the people from my past fat life couldn't accept these changes in me. It is sad that this happens and it is a shame that it does happen. I do miss these friendships and of course wi**** could have been different but have accepted that this does happen and sometimes people cannot really deal with the changes that WLS affords. Just food for thought so to speak. I am in no way, shape or form saying that this happens to all pre-op friendships, I am just sharing my personal experiences and wondering if this has happened to anyone else and if they are willing to share? Thanks for reading! :-)

Ive noticed since I was absolutely positively sure that I was getting the surgery that certain friends/family members have been stand-offish...And refer to my WLS as "the surgery"...or "the diet"...They have no clue...its like its a disease to them. How is "the diet" coming along? WTF? This was just asked to me today...It isnt a f-ng diet...Despite the fact that I have been VERY informative with all of my "inner circle"..they still dont get it.

My mother even called me from Sarasota and told me that she cut out a lap band article for me that was in the paper down there...She said "Did you know you have to go back to the doctors every 2 or 3 years...I said MOM....Its more like every 2 weeks/to a month, until you are restricted..The 2-3 years may be AFTER your goal is met...She is CLUELESS..Though I have shared EVERYTHING with her, she chose not to listen to anything I said...because again..."It's "the surgery"...th forbidden...My mother is 58 and wears a bikini...lol...does that tell you something...she doesnt have a clue what its like to be over weight!!...ok...Breath...Im done ranting for right now....

LOL Rants allowed anytime! LOL We all need to AND that is one thing about WLSers....we all know where the other is coming from because of "the surgery" we have that common bond with each other and I think sometimes people who have no clue about being overweight and don't really understand about WLS can't really grasp what we go through and why we need the support that we need and get from other WLSers. A lot of times, even when we have been very informative and shared all with our 'inner circle' they really don't understand because they don't really KNOW. Now there is MY rant for right now! LOL

I do feel like a lot of people are intimidated or jealous of me. I wish they did not judge a book by its cover.  I am a very positive person about my weight loss and everyone else. Even if you have not had WLS.  I have been there on every level of trying to loss weight for almost  30 years.  This is something I have been tuned into for about the last 4 months and it does puzzle me to no end. Family - I have great support BUT, I have two bands and a RYN in my family.  One Band has done great and the other is still having struggles.  I am a RNY and done really well so far and my sister is 4 years post-op and has gained about 40lbs.  Keep in mind she also had a baby last year.  I do feel some tension when we are all together but I think it is important to understand, yes we are all from the same family but we are all still very different.  I just really try to pump positive thoughts and advise into my family. Family is Family and this will pass I have faith in that. Friends - My best friend from grade school had surgery 11 weeks before me and we are great support for each other.  I don't really have issues with my friends I have made on a personal level that have also had WLS.  I do not judge people with WLS cause again there is so many different body types.  Lets take me and Karen (Karen kill me later) Karen is 2 weeks past me and has lost 90 pounds, she does not need to loss anymore, I am about 4 inches taller than her and I have lost 111 pounds and want to loss more to make my own personal goal.  I don't look at her any different cause we have two different body types and I had more weight to loss. My friends that have not had WLS seem to be really supportive.  Co-workers - Most of them seem to be really supportive.  There is one that I was great friends with, my daughter calls her Nana. She has issues with her own weight and she now has issues that I have lost weight.  We are not that great of friends anymore.  All the doctors I work for are very supportive.  They have had patients come talk to me about WLS, I feel empowered by that.  So I guess all in all, I have had my issues but I know who I am and what I am about.  In the end there is only one person that is going to judge me and that is god.  What I would like is to be is a good example of WLS and someone that is determine to make this work for me.  This is a daily struggle and I am up for the challenge.  No one said this was going to be easy and anyone that thinks so, can just think so.  This world is full of judgmental people.  That is very sad but if you stay positive maybe you can change one person and then maybe they can in return do the same one day for someone else. Bottom line is you need to feel comfortable in your own skin (skinny or over weight) and that is all that matters.  Keep it real as to who you are, know yourself!  If there is anything I have always had is wonderful self esteem and I hope to spill that over to others. Hugs Kristen

Good answer. It is a daily struggle, isn't it? Something that will never change and something that unfortunatly, unless you have been there, you will never fully understand. I do find, like with your co-worker and you, that if you are around people who have issues with their weight, sometimes they are uncomfortable being around you becuase of what you have accomplished and they have not done yet.

If you surround yourself with positive people there is only one way to go and that is up! Hugs Kristen

That is positivly a very positive way of thinking in a positive manner!