Friends?

Hi everyone, I know this may sound like a pathetic plea for friends, but here goes anyway!  I had my RNY on 2/20/08 and am down 52 lbs!   I have found that my friends aren't really supportive of my decision to have this surgery, before or after surgery.  I have explained my reasons to them as to why I chose to have this surgery, but it seems there was no persuading them.  I decided that this was the right decision for me and I had to do this for me and no one else.  It seems now that my friends have deserted me, our once similar interests don't bring us together anymore and we don't seem to have much to say.  I try not to discuss my surgery with them unless they ask, I don't want them to think that everything is about me, but I am proud of myself and the work that I have done and the commitment that I have made to myself.  I miss the friendships that I have had and was hoping to meet some new people, who have been through what I have been through with the decision to have this surgery and I figured where better but on here.  If anyone is interested in getting together, and meeting a really great gal to hang out with, maybe lunch/dinner, dancing then let me know!

Hi Lisa, There's a lot of activity on this board!   Places to go, things to do.   If there's something you want to do, post it and I am sure you will get a response from at least a few people and start getting to know folks off the board as well. I am not sure where you are in Baltimore, but there's a great support group meeting in Glen Burnie.   The next meeting will be Tuesday night, June 3 at North County HS.   Watch the board for details.   NCHS is easy to get to from the Beltway. If you scroll down thru the posts I believe Vonda is planning a big meet 'n greet in Charlestown WV coming up soon. Hugs, Mo

Hi Lisa - Nope, not pathetic!!!  We all could use more friends!!!  I'm glad you decided to have this surgery for the right person - YOU!!!  You shouldn't have to explain your decision to anyone, and if people can't be supportive of you, well that's THEIR problem!!! 

We do change after wls, make no mistake about it - but I think the core person remains the same.  You'll find that it takes your brain a long time to catch up to your body - do YOU see the 52 lb. loss in the mirror?  If not, it's perfectly normal.

Anyway, I could go on and on (and ON!), but I just wanted to extend the hand of friendship to you.  I'm single, have some free time and would love to meet up with you.  Not for dancing though - I can honestly say I've never been drunk enough in public to believe that I can sing or dance!!!!!

Where do you live?  I live in Middle River.

Take care,

Tia

I am so glad u posted this message.  Could it be that the common interest you had with your "former friends" was food related.  That is, did you meet all the time for lunch...or around food related activities?  If so, yes, some of your "common interests" have now disapeared.  However, fear not.  Yes, i would love to meet new people.  I am in Germantown, Maryland.  But, would be willing to travel (at least 1/2 way) to meet and greet new friends.  We would have a "common interest"...WLS...but would hope that we also develope other interests.  Museums, perhaps?  Antiquing?  Shopping (always a good one, even if it's just window shopping).  A day trip to the Eastern Shore (significant others invited, too).  A show?  Theater?  Flea markets?  TALKING? Am still thinking but  know you get he idea.  What do you (and anyone else) say?

Hello again everyone! Thanks so much for everyone's responses.  I am so glad to know that there are people out there that have similar experiences.   Tia, I also live in Middle River so that would be convenient for both of us .  Dancing is something that I enjoy, I never said I was good at it though, LOL.  As for what you said about not seeing the 52lb weight loss in the mirror, you are absolutely right!  I look at myself and still see the 312 lb. me.. it doesn't register to me that I've lost this weight...even when I step on the scale.   Susan, you are absolutely right too!  My common interests with friends usually included meeting up for dinner or drinks, and since I can't do that right now and I don't intend on going back to my old bad habits, they have seemed to disappeared!   A day trip to the Eastern shore sounds great, also love the whole shopping aspect, but most women do!  I am up for just about anything, just want to expand my horizons and hopefully meet some great people along the way.  I have no problem with traveling also,  so meeting you somewhere would be no problem.   Anyone up for anything feel free to send me a message on here and we can see what develops from there! Have a wonderful day to all! Lisa

Lisa - Where in Middle River do you live?  I'm in Hawthorne and my brother and his family are in Essex. Tia

Lisa, It is not a pathetic plea.  There are wonderful people here that would love to be friends with you. I know how it is to lose friends because all of the sudden they think we are not the same person.   I sent you a PM with a friends request.    I live in Odenton and I am moving to Charles Town, WV next month but I will be coming up this way for get togethers for sure.   I am glad you posted here!

Hi Lisa, I'm sending you a friend request.  I had lap band, not RNY, so I can't be as helpful to you as some folks on the forum, but I'd be honored to have you on my friends list.  You are a co-Dr. Moein patient! Terri

it's funny you should post this cuz i was gonna post on here for someone who would like to go dancing with me sometimes. feel free to pm me and i'll give you my contact info. i need friends too right now. i didn't have many to start with and now that i actually want to do things, i need to cultivate them now. sorry to hear about your friends. life is funny that way. and we had surgery a week from each other. i'm down 55!

I am sort of in the same boat as you.  I've been drifting from my old friends for awhile and it makes me sad.  You couldn't pay me enough money to dance, but I'd be up for meeting for lunch/dinner, movies, etc.  I'm in Bel Air.