My new story
As you all know, I don't post too often, but I do read constantly. I try to respond when I think that what I have to say is worth saying....but I do want you all to know that I think that the information shared by you all is always quite relevant. Well, I thought I would tell my most recent story!!! As most of you might remember, I ended up gaining weight (got up to 174 pounds). I wasn't happy, I was quite down..and I posted about my dispear. I could deal with 165 lbs, I longed for 155 lbs, and I fantasized about 145lbs.
PART ONE:
Well, two weeks ago, on a Monday evening I was watching Valerie Bertinelli on Oprah. As I was watching the show (very interesting..her life, her weight, etc...).. I started feeling sick. Within the hour, I wa**** head-on with a FLU. I had to go out, TOPS for my weekly weigh-in (170). I got home at 6:00 and was in bed by 6:15. Slept straight through till Tuesday. Trudged off to work, slept during my breaks, got home at 2:00 and went to bed... Did the same on Wednesday. Feeling awful, I decided to take Thursday off. Slept all day, slept all night. Went to school on Friday, and taught one class..then ended up going home sick the rest of the day. Over the weekend, however, I started feeling better. Granted with all the sleeping, there wasn't much chance of eating. No appetite for anything but sleep. So, I knew I lost a few pounds (based on the home scale).
PART TWO:
On Friday, one of my teachers handed me the recent People Magazine and she wanted me to read an article about an actor who wieghed 300 plus, had surgery, weighs 190. Talked about how he has problems finding acting jobs..because he is now normal...not "special". Well, as I was laying in bed (10:30pm) I was awoken by a revelation. I will never be as thin as I want to be. If I were as thin (pound-wise) as I want... I would look sickly and anorexic. I will never be handsome or attractive like Brad Pitt (granted he weighs more then I do). I will never be 25 again...and I will never be buff (not my body type). I am not special anymore because I am so fat... I am average (at times below average). Instead of constantly looking at where I was, I need to look at where I am...and where I am going. I need to be healthy...not "thin". I need to be special..because I am special.. BAM!!! Now to keep that in my head!!!
PART THREE:
Well, I got up Monday morning, dressed in my thin pants (lost enough weight to fit into them again...) and was feeling fine. Had my bowl of oatmeal (shared with the dog)..then suddenly, threw it all up. Didn't think much of it.... Got to school...and threw up again. Well, from Monday morning on.... I spent most days throwing up. Couldn't hold a cracker in my system let alone water. Very embarrassing running out of class..to go throw up... Well, I decided to take Thursday off (a new habit) and spend the day in bed... Which I did. Got up Friday morning, got to school, made substitute plans...and left. Went to the emergency room. I got in at 6:30am. After several IVs, a gastric ****tail, morphine, etc... I had x-rays, ultra-sounds, and CAT scans. Spending most of the day "lounging" and resting...around 3:00pm, the doctor finally told me that I am the proud papa of several kidney stones (8mm). They planned to release me with some medication (pain medicatoin...but not enough!!!!)..and I have to set up an appiontment on Monday to see what they want to do about them. REMOVE THEM!!!! is my opinion...get me healthy!!!! Stop the pain!!!!
Needless to say, it has been awful two weeks, having problems eating...losing weight, etc... Now, I just want to get healthy!!!! Never a dull moment, huh!!!!
Daniel Patrick Fluharty, NBCT
Be yourself, nobody can tell you that you are doing it wrong!!
Dan You live right across the street call me and I will make you some soup. Let me know if I can help in anyway, please. You are such a special person to me and have taught me so much about myself. You have been there when I have needed to be picked up. So NEVER forget, you are a SPECIAL person. Please keep us posted.
Hugs Kristen
The support group was wonderful. I will be back. It was great to meet you and everyone. Thank you and everyone for your support and suggestions for my speech. It went very well and I took the suggestions.
I am so sorry you are going through all of this. I am not far plus I am in GB a lot. Please let me know if you need anything .I would be glad to help. Please keep us posted.
Laurie
((( Daniel )))
I know the pain of kidney stones and it's not FUN at all and I have to say the idea of a male passing them is probably even more painful than my experience. The way they are 'removed' is a process called lithotripsy where they blast them to granules and then they are passed that way almost painlessly.
I am so proud of your coming to grips with what is right for you .. the healthy part and I know that it won't be easy but you are there!!!
Hugs, Mo
Comparison is the thief of joy!
If we spend our time comparing our life/weight loss/body to others, we totally miss what WE have accomplished. Keep in mind how far you have come and what you can do now that you couldn't do weeks/months/years ago. I hate the expression " It's all good", but in this case it fits! Wherever you are in your journey ... It's ALL good!!!
I am so happy for you that you had your revelation. You are special and deserve to be at a healthy weight, not anorexic. I am very sorry to hear of the kidney stones. I hope they get rid of them for you as painlessly as possible. I hear it can be like the pain of childbirth in comparison. Enjoy your weight loss success you earned it! Take Care.
Aime
Feel better Dan. Sorry to hear about the stones and all of the time out of work. Hopefully you will be able to get rid of them "un-eventfully"...is that a word? ;)
And I think anyone who has made the committment to themselves to go so far as to have surgery for their health is special - in so many ways - and NONE of those ways equate to a number on a scale!
Dan-
I'm so sorry to hear you're in such pain. Hopefully you'll feel better soon! You are such a special person- you have shared so much with me and everyone else and it means the world to me. You are such a kind and caring person. Please let me know if you need anything. I'll see you in April!
Hugs to you-
Donna
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