I Really Need Support

Hi everyone I am new to the forum, I had my WLS over 3 years ago and I started at 316 and the smallest I got to was 200, I am now 220 and am so afraid, I don't know how to get back on the regiment, alot of things have changed in my personal life and I went back to eating because of loneliness. I don't know what to do, I did get up the nerve to send a email to my surgeon office and they called and said I should mak an appointment to see him again, but i feel so ashamed, I see all these people that have had the surgery and they look wonderful and I now what happen to me but it happened so fast and I am back to feeling bad for my self.  I really need some support from people who understand what I have gone through and what I am going through now.  So if there is anyone out there who can help me and give me some advice on what should I do please email me or respond please. Thank you My email address is [email protected]

Hi Tara. So sorry to hear that you are struggling. Your surgeon is your partner in this, and I'm sure wants to help. Do you have a therapist? Have you seen one since your surgery, or did you before? I know that my therapist, who I met when my insurance company referred me to her for my psych eval., wants to be a partner with me, and see me through the tough times. I don't see her regularly at this time, but she calls to check on me every other week or so, just to remind me that she is there for me. I'm very recently post-op, so I don't have any experience with this way of eating long term. I'd like to think that if I were struggling I would turn to my surgeon, my support groups (including this great group) my therapist, and nutritionist. I hope that you will do that. You've come a long way, and worked very hard. You deserve the help!

Tara Some many people are afraid of there surgeons and what they will say.  I say we went to them at the time of need before, it is time to go back.  You need to start there and then you need to get a good support them back together. Hit some meetings at your hospital or another hospital but get to one.  We will help and guide you but one on one support is great and help to get things refocused.  Keep your chin up.  Today you sit with a piece of paper and decide what it is that you want and right it down.  Go to that list everyday and refocus what is important to you.  You is what matters.  Personal stuff put it all in the tra**** is time for you.  You need to take care of you! Hugs Kristen

Hi Tara,  I just emailed you. Give me a call and we can talk anytime. I have to run right now sorry. Laurie

Hi Tara,  You are not alone. We are here to support you.   Your surgeon and nutritionist are there to help and not to judge you.  Please put aside those negative thoughts and shame.  Don't get in your own way and just go to the surgeon's office and get the help you want and need.  Also, if you haven't already got one, a therapist is crucial to getting through these type of stressful situations and discovering what will work for you to succeed and stay on track with your new behaviors.   Beating yourself up for it is a waste of energy you could be spending on getting back on track.  I hope you stay in touch and I wish only the best for you . 

Welcome to the forum. I think you took the first step by posting and by contacting your surgeon. From what you wrote, you lost a lot of weight. That is awesome. Everyone loses focus from time to time. You are ready to regain that focus. Together we can all remain strong and beat this thing called obesity.

My response is going to be a little different from the others who posted.  I personally respond very  well to people who are tough and provide a "tough love" attitude so I tend to give it back that way to people who need it.  Judging from your post, I think you need it. Like the others, I agree that it is a good idea to go see your surgeon again.  However, I also think that you need to suck it up and get back to the basics.  This means getting back to a proper diet including plenty of protein and making sure to EXERCISE each day.  Get rid of the carbs and fat.  OMG, you're an experienced loser (116 lbs) so you obviously know how to use the tool your surgeon gave you.   Quit feeling sorry for yourself, push away the snacks, get tough, and just do it. You mentioned a lot of change in your life and being lonely so I will assume there was a breakup, divorce or death to cause this feeleing.  If you've put on 20 lbs, you've already had plenty of time to get over your problem.  It's time to take those feelings and turn them into something a little more constructive.  Focus them in a different direction.  Instead of eating, get off your butt and lift some weights, smack a punching bag, take spinning or kick boxing classes or walk/jog father than you ever have before.  No excuses... Just do it.  Get the sweat rolling for 45-60 mins EVERY day and I absolutely promise that you will feel better... both mentally and physically.  Your 20 lbs and probably even more will drop off in no time. Deep down, you know where you're going wrong, whether it is diet, exercise or both.   Please take a minute or two to think back to the day you hit your lowest weight.  Remember how great that felt?  It's time to get back to that place again. --Eric

Hi Eric I want to thank you and the others who took time out to reply to me, I read your post and yes i am feeling sorry for myself , I need to get over my marriage issues and take care of not only my children but take care of myself also. I called my doctor and made an appointment for next month, they were happy to hear from me. I will get back to my old routine. I hav to go know but I really wasnt to thank everyone. Tara