Dating

Hi Everyone, The one thing I am noticing on here is that appears many of the Maryland Members are married, are there any singles?  Cause I am having a terrible time with dating and was wondering if anyone else out here who is single is having issues.   Thanks Jen

I am single. I don't really date. I guess I have been seeing someone. I can't say it is all peaches and cream.  He hasa jealousy issues a lot and I really find that intolerable. I'm 51 years old. Sheesh. My days of running the streets have long been over.

HI Aimee, I am sorry to read he is like that.....the dating pool isn;t all the great I have come to find out and it seems if you are over 30, it is 10 times worse.  I am really starting to think it was not my weight that held me back it was something else..weird, always thought I did not date a lot because I was overweight.  Now that I am smaller and in the normal range for women, it is still hard meeting quality people.

I was approached more when I was over weight than I am now. go figure. Of course, I dind't have this surgery to meet anyone. I also thought the same thing that I might be more attractive to others as a thinner person. Oh well, I am not going to stress about it.

I got married when I was at my highest weight.  I now weight 60 lbs less than that.  But it was an interesting process.  When I was single, I had a great dating dry spell between about 26 (when I was merely overweight and not morbidly obese) and my late 30's.  The guys in my 20's were all over me about my extra weight.  In my late 30's, not so much.  The guys in my 20's were never married.  The ones in my late 30's had been married and were divorced or divorcing.  I didn't so much find fat fetishists (which was my first reaction to all the male interest), but instead, I basically found 2 types of guys: (1) guys with big child support payments who wanted a wife that earned good money, and (2) guys who were newly realistic about women.  I am a lawyer, so I guess people might think I might fall into the "makes good money" category (though since I've worked for the federal government, I am definitely not loaded). I ended up marrying someone in the "newly realistic about women" group.  There are both large women and normally-sized women in my husband's family.  His previous wife was a size 6.  He has never been unkind about my weight, size or appearance.  He has been supportive of my weight loss efforts, though he thought having surgery was a bit radical and tried his best to convince me to give Weigh****chers or Jenny Craig or the GWU program another try.  Ultimately, he was 100% supportive when he realized I was going to go through with it.   Edie

Edie, You have given me some hope!  I really thought weight was my issue, but I can't seem to find quality guys.  You are lucky you found such a good guy.  Currently I am finding the guys who just want the hook-ups, the guys who want to know how muxh longer it will take for me to reach 150 (currently) 178 etc.  It is so frustrating!  I get all sorts of advice on how to find guys..online, church, starbucks etc.....Maybe my problem is I am looking and maybe I need to be found instead????

I am single and have been having issues with dating as well. Let's talk! Jamie

Hey Jamie.... What have your issues been?  My last date was in Novemeber and he wasn't over his ex...nothing like being the rebound....lol

I've had my share of horriable dates and just meeting the wrong people after my surgery. My biggest issues have been eating out on a date, and always having the thought of would this person date me if I was still big? It's somthing I've been working on a lot. I've never told anyone that I go out with that I've had the surgery and bringing that up scares me. By no means am I ashamed of the surgery but it's a touchy subject when dating. I'm currently seeing a great guy who treats me like a queen but it's still hard to not think he's not going to be a jerk like all the rest.

Hi Jamie, I think evenyually you will have to tell them, some of the guys I have gone out with don't care and others want to know how long till I get to gaol weight, so I know those are keepers...lol.  My problem has been wher do you meet good guys.  Oh well I will keep plugging along, I guess.  I think it will always be in our heads would this person date me if I was bigger, somehow I am not so sure they would because I think it was losing the weight that gave us the opportunity to meet them???  Kinda of a pessamistic view, but all I hear over and over again are that men are visual creatures. Good Luck Jamie!!!! Jen