Weepy day today

Hi all, My Lap-band surgery is scheduled for Friday, the 7th. Up 'til now, I think I've been handling everything really well. I got all my pre-op stuff done last week, I met with Dr. Averbach one last time before surgery and Friday, I attending the pre-op class with five other women who will be having their surgeries soon, too. I was feeling great, really excited and looking forward to becoming a "loser" once and for all.  Then last night, I woke up from a dream where I had forgotten to pick my 8-year old son up from school. One of his worst fears is being left alone somewhere like that. In the dream, I was crying almost hysterically, and feeling such an awful sense of guilt and panic. I woke up still in that state. Needless to say, it was hard to go back to sleep. While I was showering, I started thinking about all the things I wanted to be sure to video/take pictures of....like me leaving for the hospital, me in my room after recovery....and I just got all shaky and teary again. I am a nurse. I've had anesthesia before without a problem. I know perfectly well that I will be fine.  But.....I'm a mom and there is a part of me that can't help worrying about my husband and kids should something happen. So...there I was, already in sort of a fragile emotional state, and we go to church. It was an awesome service and the church was so beautiful decorated for Christmas. Several of my friends asked how I was doing, and I just lost it......again! Thank goodness they know me well and were able to listen and talk and pray with me.  I've spent the rest of the day trying to be good to myself. We went out to lunch, I took a nap, spent some time writing in my journal and reading. I'm doing my best to acknowledge the feelings and just let them happen....without eating! I'm sure this is normal, right? I've read about other people's emotions being all over the place pre-op. Cathy, the nurse at Dr. Averbach's, did warn us that it might be this way, even more so during the first few weeks post-op.  Thanks for listening! Please keep me in your prayers this week! Michelle

Michelle, It is perfectly normal to feel that way when you worry about your husband and children.  I wrote letters to each of my kids and husband and kept them in a safe place incase soemthing happened to me.  I totally freaked out the morning of surgery when I was in the OR thank goodness for that anesthesia girl i was knocked quickly.   You are a wonderful mother and so you worry and that is what we do best as mothers worry our butts off! But everything will be fine and you will do great and your children will be enjoying the new you in a couple of months.    Best wishes in your new journey!! You will definitely be in my thoguhts and prayers. Hugs,

I found OH 2 weeks prior to my surgery. Thanks goodness I did because I am now a loser. I would have backed out if I hadn't found these wonderful people to support me.

Oh dear, (((hugs)))  I went through these exact feelings last week. I can tell you that I had horrible thoughts going through my mind. I helped them by writing them down and journalling for my girls. I explained why I was doing thisand how much I love them. I also took my DH on a date, and we had a most serious talk at dinner. It was hard but it was very helpful in the fact that it validated my feelings, and I expressed my concerns to him and my wishes should something happen.  The morning of surgery I was better than I thought I would be, and again THANK GOD for the anesthialogist. He said he normally waits till right before surgery to "knock you out" but for me I was not even laying down on the bed yet and he gave me the love juice :) Next thing I knew it was over, I was waking up, and the rest is history.  My husband did say one thing that helped me a lot, hopefully it will help you too. If someone said you have a 99% chance of hitting the lotto if you play this week, you would play wouldn't you. Those are GREAT odds. The surgery is the same way. You are going to do great. Know that the feelings are normal, aknowledge them and keep moving to your goal. The reward is worth it. I promise. Even in just 1 week the difference is amazing!  I will keep you in my prayers.

This is normal.  I did it less this time than I did before a couple of previous surgeries.  The first time I ever had surgery, which was when I was in law school, I sat down and wrote out a will and what I wanted my funeral to be like!   I didn't do it this time because I was afraid of upsetting my husband.  He wasn't exactly thrilled that I was having surgery. I usually get freaky right before they take me back, but it didn't happen this time. I was laughing and Dr. S had been ribbing the anesthesia nurses.  It was still almost an hour before my procedure was scheduled, but someone said, "Hey, the room is free. Is everyone ready to go?"  And they rolled me back.  By then, the happy juice was taking over and by the time I reached the OR, I was half gone.  I didn't have time to get scared this time. Edie

Michelle, You are in my prayers! I think I know how you feel. I've been expecting it to come,  but have successfully held it at bay. I don't know why I am fighting it. I think it will help me.  I had a few nights of dreams being about weird things, but the last two nights were fairly uneventful. I think today, as I say goodbye for now to my coworkers and friends, it will be emotional for me. I will just handle it as it comes, no more fighting it for me. I've been so excited up to this point, and I still am, but the nerves are starting to kick in.