I have been approved

My insurance company approved me for the DS. As soon as Dr. S has my letter, I will have a date! My husband just told me he doesnt want me to do it. Any advice on how to calm his fears? Thanks Amy

All right!!! Mine was afraid, too, even though I was "only" getting a lap band.  I think part of what you have to do is figure out what he's afraid of.  Mine wasn't afraid of me losing weight, but was afraid something would happen and I would die.  He was incredibly frightened when they thought I might have complications, far more scared than I was. Rational?  I don't know.  I think, though, we've both seen enough obesity-related illness and death in our families where he realized I needed to get the weight off and I wasn't getting any younger.  (My birthday later this month starts a new decade and it isn't 40.)

My DH was on the fence about it as well and this is all normal.  TALK TALK TALK and take him to meetings.  He will soon understand why you want to do this. oh and WAHOOOOOOO that is wonderful to be approved. Hugs Kristen

I bribed mine by buying him a new gun for his collection.  (yes I did, too!)    Seriously tho, he is kind of concerned about me dying.  Lets face it the man would be totally lost without me.  It is nice to have his blessing but he does realize that I will do this with or without him. He said that he wants his wife back...  he doesnt mean just the weight gain but all the baggage that comes with the extra lbs.  He saw the misery my dad went thru before he passed away. Most of his problems were caused by life long obesity. Also My STEP father died from diabetes complications so DH has seen that too.  I think taking your hubby to support meetings and having him talk to the doc would calm his fears.  He needs to realize that you are doing it for your health.  If there was something medically wrong with him and it could be fixed with surgery, wouldnt he do it?   If his fears are that you will be too attractive and run off with someone he just reassurance  (or counseling.)   

Congrats on the approval! As far as hubby goes, keep communication open, help him to learn facts about the surgery procedure, and realize that his concerns/fears are legitimate. He'll come around. I'm sure he wants a happier/healthier you. TraciL

Congrats on the approval.

Congratulations!  My hubby was nervous, scared and a bit insecure.  My surgeon was wonderful - he called him directly twice and talked him through most of the medical concerns.  Then, my husband and I had to work on our communication to get to the root of his insecurity.  My advice is same as everyone else - TALK, TALk, TALK. 

Amy, I don't have advice about your husband, but I know you'll get a lot of great advice on the board. But, CONGRATS and WOOHOO! I'm so excited for you!!! I know the waiting was tough, but it does feel so good afterwards when  you can finally feel on your way. Can't wait to hear your date!

Thank you all for the wonderful advice. I will keep talking and just hope he will be able to let go of his fears. I dont really think he sees me as being really overweight. He has no idea how much I weigh. He is just a sweet husband that wouldnt know what to do without me. Thanks again everyone! Amy