High Blood Pressure & Dealing With Depression severely

{{{{{George}}}}} First, promise us if you EVERY want to hurt yourself, you will call 911!!!! The stress of dealing with your wife's situation might be what's driving up your BP and contributing to your depression.  Besides medicating it (hopefully temporarily), you need some form of support.  Try plugging into Al Anon for another organization for families of the addicted.  Not only will you get support, but you'll learn some tried and true ways of dealing with alcoholics.  And you won't feel so alone. I see you are on Cymbalta, which is a good drug, but not every antidepressant works for everyone.  If it's not working for you, you might want to try some other drugs/combinations of drugs.  Individual therapy will help with the depression, too.  It's less about "curing" the depression than it is about supporting you while you work on the problems that are aggravating your emotional state. Please try to remember that you have a lot on your plate and are not Superman.  Be kind to yourself.

  I will make every effort to get help spiritually and mentally.  My wife tells me all the time that I act like it's suppose to be about me and it's always poor George....  that is not true and I have been dealing with her drinking for over  4 1/2 yrs!  she doesn't want to quit and this DWI has cost us over $5000.00  and she has wrecked her GMC Envoy 2x this year drinking and driving and that has been over $7500.00 in damages.  We paid out our pocket because nobody was involved and she never got caught !  she is killing herself and she has a high level Government job.  I am gonna go to a Alonon meeting tonight.  Thank you all.

I have nothing but good things to say about Alanon. I, too, am a member as I am dealing with an alcoholic son and have many in my family. I guess I need to be very careful that my food addiction does not switch to alcohol. I am in therapy and do not drink at all. Thank God!!!!

George,      (((Hugs))) - I am so sorry that you are dealing with all this. My husband is an alcoholic, and after dealing with it for 13 yrs- I asked him to leave our home. With in just a few days he saw that he needed to make a few changes. We went to conseling with one of the pastors at our church. He has also been going to RU an addictions program at our church. He has since moved back in. I lost my dad 9 yrs ago and my mom just 2 yrs ago. That is a pain that is incredible deep. I can not fathom the suffering you are experiencing right now. With that said, I also need to say that right now you need to see your DR. To make the statement ... " I feel like sometimes I want to end my life because of the loss of my mother and trying to cope with her death and all the depressed things around me"  While mometary feeling like this can be normal an extended time period requires medical attention.

I will keep you in my prayers. I have yet to go through with the surgery, but was told that this surgery will add stress to a marriage because of the rapid changes that you go through.

I hope that you and your wife find the help that you need to get better.

"I will keep you in my prayers. I have yet to go through with the surgery, but was told that this surgery will add stress to a marriage because of the rapid changes that you go through." HIJACK! Not to detract from George's concerns at all, but can I share something profound that my husband said to me the weekend before I had surgery?  We have talked about this issue quite a bit and his take on things might help someone. My husband pointed out to me that when I chose weight loss surgery, I was making a choice for the entire family, whether I realized that or not.  He felt like if he didn't put that on the table and I didn't acknowledge it, there was a potential for problems.  And I think he's right.  Our choice impacts everyone living under our roof.  It'll, of course, change what and how I eat, but his eating habits will be affected, too.  It'll change my ability to keep up with our daughter. To keep from feeling left out, he'll have to get healthier, too.  In making this statement to me, he said, he was trying to let me know that he understand the impact the surgery would have and that he accepted it and supported me in my quest to be a healthier person.

I have had depression for many years. I went off my medication after surgery as I couldn't stand the taste of it out of the capsule. I started to have some depressive episodes about 3 months out of surgery. At that point, I was determined to stay off medication. Luckily, I woke up. I am back on my depression medication. It is a small dose at this point, but it does help. I am also in the midst of menapause which can seriously cause mood swings. This is one of the reasons I went back on my medication. I am feeling much stronger and less "evil" since I have started taking it again.  You have had some serious life changes occur since your surgery date. The first being surgery. The second losing your mother. Add to that, you are dealing with another person's disease that is devestating to both the person and the family.  I seriously think you need to find a counselor for yourself. Maybe the counselor you are seeing can recommend one for you or a support group. I have found that when I have dealt with some severe issues in my life that support groups have been very helpful for me. I have participated in support groups for depression, spousal abuse, grief over the loss of children, and being an incest survivor. I have also found that realizing that it is the depression speaking and not you is important. I will often remind myself that it is my depression trying to take over so that I am able to regain cognitive control of my emotions once again.  Please continue to post here for support. Not all of us may know what you are going through personally, but we can be here to help you through. It is so important not to isolate yourself.  My heart is with you.