A Secret

The way I see it, this surgery is a huge, personal decision.  Do what makes YOU comfortable. Pre-op I chose to tell those that would be supportive, and not invite any negativity into my choice. Therefore, my brother and his wife were by my side every step of the way - my 4 sisters and mom didn't know I had it done until 2 weeks later when I hit a little bump in the road (that's all in my blog).  But once I got back to work and started "melting away" I have not been hesitant at all to share my decision with others, because it has turned out to be one of the best choices I have ever made in my life. Only regret = not doing it 10 years earlier! :)  Best of luck with whatever you decide works for you!

Since officially deciding, I've only told my husband and daughter.  I've shared with one lady at work who is average size and SUPER supportive and one man at work who had gastric bypass three years ago.  He's AWESOME about speaking candidly and we were good friends before so I'm very comfortable talking to him about it. Not telling my mother or sisters because they are "naturally skinny" and have never understood "what's wrong with me that I LET myself get so fat".  Haven't told Dad because he's a worrier with a bad heart. I am definitely not ashamed of the decision but I am not ready to deal with all the "just go on a diet" people or the people who want to tell me what a horrible thing I'm "doing to my body".  I know eventually there will be no "hiding" it but I'm hoping by the time the weight is coming off and I'm a SUCCESS I'll be better equipped to deal with the negative types who just want to drag you down.

I didn't tell anyone outside of my immediate family (Mom, dad,brother, husband and inlaws****il the week before.  I still have not told a lot of people because it is NONE of their business. I didn't need them to make the decision.  

I think most people avoid telling others about this surgery. I was one of the rare ones. I told. I told all. I feel that keeping things bottled up as if they are taboo only perpetuates that opinion. WLS is not taboo. Obesity need no longer be considered a bad thing. We know it isn't always just about "Well, if they would stop eating!" or statements like that. I hope I can change the thinking of people one person at a time. I also realize this depends on the comfort level of the individual. You do what you feel comfortable with doing. I'll do the telling for you. :)

I agree with Aime.  I've told everyone in my family, my bosses and everyday co-workers.  Now that I am getting closer to the end of my 6 month diet, I've started telling acquaintances (sp) at work also.  Everyone knows how much I have struggled with my weight, and they are all very excited for me at the prospect of something that will help me succeed, and beat my weight "demon".  I have been lucky so far that I have not had a negative reaction from anyone.  Everyone is really supportive and full of questions.  And if they are negative, they are being respectful enough to keep it to themselves.  So I know I'm rare, but extremely lucky.  As everyone else has said, you have to do what you are comfortable with.  You know your friends and family more than anyone and you are the best to judge how they will react.

I told everyone and got incredible support! However, you have to do what is most comfortable for you.

I also told everyone. I am proud of the decision that I have made. I was a little scared to tell my mom but when I did she was very supportive. She knows how much my being overweight has affected the quality of my life for a very long time. She will be coming to stay at my house post-op. Some others that I have told have reacted negatively. I feel that some of them are threatened by my weight loss. They also have weight issues and...well you know....misery likes company...lol I have simply told everyone ...via email that I did not want to discuss my surgery with anyone who would not be supportive of me. So far that has worked. I also told everyone that if something happened to me that I was well aware of the complications from this surgery and if something really BAD happened...I was doing what I wanted to be able to have a better quality of life. I am a true believer that if it is your time to go...there is nothing we can do to stop it. OK...sorry to get a little morbid here. Tell who you want and let the rest of them guess... Gail

I am telling most people. I don't hesitate to tell friends, because all of my friends will be supportive and I tell my co-workers because I don't care about their opinion enough to have it influence my decision. I have told my immediate family, and that is it. I have 3 aunts who are the most amazing women in the world, but they are quick with opinions, and I don't think their opinion on this subject would be positive. My personal feeling is that unless someone had the surgery, only those that matter the most to me, which are my close friends and immediate family have opinions that matter.

I only told my husband and my older kids.  Only my husband knew the exact date until 4 days before surgery when I told my minister.  I didn't tell the kids the date until 2 days before because they blab ALL of my business which makes me so MAD!!!!!!!!    I only told 1 person at work and that was just 1 week ago when she came over & asked if I was getting treated for cancer because she "could tell I have lost weight".  I swore her to secrecy before I told her  & can only hope she keeps my confidence because I don't think it is anyone at works business......