A Secret

Is there anyone out there that wants to keep their WLS a secret from friends and family? I plan on letting my imediate family know but am hesitant on telling everyone else.

I only told my immediate family and those friends that I knew would be supportive. I just could not take going over and over and over what I was going to do with the family. Especially since I choose the DS which none of them could have possibly ever heard of. About 3 days after surgery, I let members of my immediate family start to let the rest of the family know. No one's feelings were hurt. My immediate family included my husband and son, my one married brother and his wife and my single brother. You need to do what makes you the most comfortable. This is your life and your decision. Best of luck to you. Jo

I have told EVERYONE!  You love me fat you will still love me not so fat.  I am still ME! Hugs Kristen BUT both my sisters kept it a secret.

I only chose to tell a select few from my family.  I just could not deal with all the negativity that people seem to think it is ok to just pass it along.  As for my friends not all know since one told me what was I doing? Was I looking to leave my kids without a mother so soon.   It was really hard to deal with stuff like that.   This is your choice and your body.  You do what is right for you.   Best wishes!

Pre-surgery I was selective about who I told.   I did tell my boss and immediate co-workers.   My husband, my sisters, close family.   I chose not to tell my mother because I had struggled with my decision and wasn't prepared to deal with her reaction if she was not supportive.   After surgery I told her.   There were other people that I told I was having gall bladder surgery (I did have my gall bladder removed during WLS so it was not an out and out fabrication).    Who you tell and how you chose to handle your surgery is completely your choice.  You may feel differently post op, but I can understand your hesitancy now. Hugs, Mo

That is a great question to ponder. I have told my mom and sister. They are both supportive, but if I am approved and schedule a date, I really do not want to tell anyone else. I do believe I will have to tell my husband (havent mentioned it yet) lol I teach 7th grade and I do not know if I want to discuss it with my students or my coworkers. I keep trying to come up with a reason I will be out. Amy

Only my husband and kids knew beforehand.  I definitely did NOT want to tell my mother because she does not have the faintest idea how to be supportive of any decision I have made in my life.  I told my sisters when I was on the road to recovery, ditto my in-laws.  I did not even tell my mom until after I had lost about 80 lbs, which is when I pretty much "came out" to the rest of the world.  People started asking how I lost the weight, etc.  So by then I felt comfortable telling them. For people at work, I just told them I was having surgery.  Nobody asked further.  I think they thought it was "one of those woman things."

I am usually an "open book" ( I had no roblem sharing DH's and my problems with infertility and in-vitro, etc) however, I am being more tight-lipped about WLS.  My husband and my parents know and I have told 2 friends - both also deal with obesity.  I guess I thought they would be more undrstanding then my "average" sized friends.  I am not sure who I will tell after I have the surgery and I begin (hopefully) to shrink! Kendra

I haven't been shy about telling my family.  They've been worried about my health for years, and this surgery is a big positive to them. At work, I've told my managers and selected other people, including a couple of MO women who I know have co-morbs.  Both were supportive and interested in my outcome (so, the pressure is on).  Both have considered surgery.  In my adoption friends, I told a couple of my smaller egroups.  In one group, a physician ragged on me pretty bad -- she is a radiologist who's seen people out-eat their pouches and thinks "it's all in your head."  Another, a nurse, was very worried.  She works one floor down from a Center of Excellence at a large hospital not in Maryland and said she'd seen a few people die.  Also, she'd lost on Weigh****chers and thinks it's for everyone.

At some point in time post-op, people will begin to guess anyway. I didn't scream from the roof about my surgery (pre-op) but like others I told my boss and close co-workers.  Now that I'm post-op, if people notice and ask what I'm doing to lose weight, I tell them.  I'm getting really good at explaining what a VBG is!!