Life is Insane

I thought I'd fill y'all in a little on what has been going on with me lately.  Over the past 2 weeks, so much has happened that my head is spinning. I was on my way to a family party when I received a call from my son's fiance. I'm a grandma. Hold the congrats. I'm not quite ready for them as yet. In fact, I'm a little angry as I know my son and his fiance can't really care for themselves much less a child. I did look at some baby things at Walmart last night. Thought if I saw a bib or something that said I love grandma I would pick it up. Not a one there, but at least I looked.  We were able to bring my mother down to this family party. Getting her down off the mountain lately is no easy task. The older and more unwell she becomes the more she refuses to leave home. I was able to contact my neice (eldest brother's daughter) and get her to come down for the party. It was nice. My mother was in rare form the entrie weekend. In fact, she was down right cruel about certain issues such as the impending baby, wanting all exclusive time with my niece, and things in general. Apparently, both my sister and I had it out with her and vowed to limit contact for awhile. Mom ended up in the hopsital last week. She was diagnosed with bronchial pnuemonia. This is not uncommon as she has COPD. This hospital visit has brought forth many concerns and issues. She may have lung cancer. However, her doctor has stated that it is her lungs that will be her reason for death. He agrees that she is no longer able to care for herself by living alone. My brother and sisters have tried to get her to move off the mountain for years. I have supported her decision to remain there as long as possible. As long as possible is up. She must move into the attached apartment of my sister's house or to my brother's. This is going to be a major battle with her., but she can't stay there alone anymore. She is so far away from any of us. Wwe can't just drop everything to go and take care of her. I know that is what she desires ultimately, but that is unreasonable.   I don't relish this battle at all. I don't want to think about this being her last year with us most likely. I will be driving up Sunday to transport her good friend who is visiting from Alabama for 10 days. I will need to be cheery and pleasant and and...... I don't want to go.  Cira- I do so relate to being short fused. Seems like everything has me very edgy and on the verge.  That is it in a nutshell so to speak. I wish I could be there Sunday. I'd prefer the diversion form my life.

Ohhh Aime I am so sorry life is so darn hectic for you now.  I feel bad for your family and your Mom.  It is never easy to have a sick parent.  I lost my mother to cancer so thi****s close to home.   If there is anything I can do for you please do not hesitate to contact me.   Big hugs and prayers coming your way. With love,

Hi Aime, I don't envy you on that drive. Pick some good tunes and make yourself a promise to do something good for yourself when you get through this. My dad and I had a similar "talk" on Fathers Day. He left me with some wisdom that might help a little, althought it only explains things doesn't solve. He said the day I was born his life changed and he suspects most parents go through a similar experience. From that day on, in his eyes, I was his responsibility no matter what. It is a part of unconditional love. Even after I left home and began raising my own family, he watched over me. He did it so well. Now that he is entering his 80's and I have expressed concerns about the future, he left me with "things are all taken care of" and "don't worry about a thing". He just can't let go of being a parent  and let me give back. I wasn't happy about this, but I understood.  I do hope this was helpful and good luck, Mark

(((( Aime )))) I very much understand what you are going through.   My own parents are 86 (Dad) and 87 (Mom) and we kids (me, brother and two sisters) are battling with them to get out of the house and into a place where they will have help when they need it.   My mom is well beyond the beginning stages of Alzheimers and has pretty much lost her will to live.  Dad is still very active and alert and is Mom's primary care giver.   The house we all grew up in is on a hill and in bad weather it is treacherous to  try to get to the street.   The past couple of winters in Connecticut have not been mild ones and more than once they have been 'trapped' in the house due to ice or snow.   Next weekend my siblings will all be there and will take another shot at getting through to Dad. Be safe driving and best wishes with getting your Mom situated. Hugs, Mo

Thank you so much Mo!

Hi Aime,

I'm so sorry you're going through all this! My hubby and I went through a similiar situation with my mother-in-law. She is 90 yo this year and now living in California. To make a really long story short - she was a very independent woman, her body started to fail her, the dr said she shouldn't drive anymore- that it was too dangerous, she got very angry about losing her independence - mostly directed at me - then moved in with her son in California. It was not a fun time! While she had some health issues, none of them were immediately life threatening like what your Mom is going through. It's great that you have your siblings to share your burden and you're not alone with decision making and working things out with (or against!) your Mom. Hang in there,

Hi Aime. Sounds like life is pretty stressful for you right now.  I am so sorry about your mom's illnesses.  I know that when my mother is not able to care for herself it will be quite a challenge to take care of her.  She can also be really mean and hurtful, especially when she doesn't feel well.  I love my mom but I don't look forward to all of that.  I will keep you and your family in my prayers as you work to do what is best for ALL of you.  Your mom may not want to leave her home but she is blessed to have children who are willing to care for her.  Not everyone has that!   Hugs, Robin