Guess I'm just not ready yet

Well, I was supposed to go to the seminar at St. Agnes tomorrow night, and I canceled it.  I am 3 months into the 6 mo diet, I've had the cardiac workup, the sleep study is scheduled, but I have no peace about it all yet. I was so excited when I first learned about the gastric bypass surgery and that maybe my situation could change.  I am a chronic pain patient with a spine that is deteriorating really bad, along with a lot of joints.  I've had so many surgeries, all without a choice, and some have had some really bad complications.  I also have a lot of allergies to foods, but none to chocolate unfortunately!! Was there a point in time that you knew without a doubt that this was the right thing to do?  I am afraid that I will end up being worse off than I am now - either with complications from the surgery, or with all my food allergies, not being able to eat much of anything, forever.  I am in a wheelchair, but I walk in the house and in the yard, so I'm pretty sure they would do the surgery, but there's no promise of being able to have more mobility due to the damaged nerves in my legs.  So that's another thing - what if I have the surgery and don't lose a whole lot of weight because I can't exercise? So right now I'm going to continue the 6 mo weight loss program and do the best I can and keep on coming here to this website and we will see.  Were any of you this way - just not ready yet? Thanks for listening - Jane

Hi Jane, I certainly did not come into this with the mobility, joint, or allergy issues you face.    But I can say that I had fears and doubts all along.   I will also say, that to some extent and even after 3 months, I still have some fears and doubts. You can't take this surgery lightly.   It is going to invoke lifelong changes that can't be undone in any realistic way.   There are a host of complications and the process can be defeated.    As they were giving me the seditive on the day of surgery, I was still asking myself if this was the right thing.   In my case, I had never had any surgery.  So not only was I fearful of the procedure, but I was afraid of the whole process.   With that said...not only would I make the same choice (to have RNY) again, but would do it sooner.    Your best bet is to discuss this with a doctor you trust.   In my case, it was my primary care physcian.   It is important that the doctor know you and understand your medical history.   It might give you an outside opinion on the appropriateness of this procedure for you. Many of the folks that have this procedure are not mobile before and immediately after surgery.  They are simply too heavy to exercise in any real way.   In their case, the process is generally a slow one, but it still works.   Eventually they are able to start moving and then the process accelerates.    Go to the seminars.   Go to as many different ones as you can.   I spent almost 2 years interviewing surgeons and attending seminars and info sessions.   Not only will it help you decide on a practice but you get to meet others that are contemplating and in some cases have already gone through the surgery.    The more information you can amass the better you will feel about your deicision.  Which ever decision you make! Sorry this rambled a bit.  I hope you can get something from it. Best of luck with your decision,

Hi Jane, I totally agree with what dave said.  I researched this for 2 years and when I felt ready I went for it! Good luck with everything and best wishes,

I, too, believe Dave has it right on!  I couldn't support you any better than Dave.  I had surgery in January, 2006 and I still have doubts that I did the right thing.  Now, knowing what I know now (that I would be complication and weight free) I would do it again.  My biggest, personal, issue is that I am upset with having to have a surgical procedure to "fix" something that I brought on myself.

I didn't have the health problems that you have, was in the category for the lowest chance of risks, but none the less, there was always the chance of risk.  For me, this surgery has been a blessing and God has surely taken good care of me because I've had no problems from beginning to present.  I am 17 months post op from RNY, have lost 105 pounds, was a size 26/28W and now wear a 12...sometimes a L shirt and sometimes and XL depending on how it is made.  It was a big, big decision and definately not one that I took lightly.  I almost had a nervous breakdown the night before surgery with my wonderful husband scared to death because he didn't know how to help me.  The nurse from my surgeon's office was FANTASTIC and talked me through the evening.  The next morning I cried the entire time, until sedation, that is.  :o)  My point, it is a difficult decision.  But I would do it again.   Best wishes.  Keep us posted.  Stay on your 6 month plan because you may change your mind. Kim P.

Hi Jane. I would recommend you attend the seminar. Learn more. Ask questions. You do not have to rush into a surgery date.  I was so scared before surgery. Here i was considering altering my body permanently. I was also scared of what my life was and would continue to be if I didn't have the surgery. I wsn't physically active. Sure, I could walk and do things, but I just didn't. I also started to develop some nerve damage in my legs because of my diabetes. I did have my sugars under control. I refused to believe that weight had infringed upon my life as much as it had. I can't lie to myself anymore.  I almost backed out 2 weeks before surgery over something really stupid. No coffee. I kept thinking they are taking everything away from me in life I enjoy. Next they wul tell me i can't hae sex- not like i really was having it.  I am so happy I had this surgery. I have lost 85 lbs. I am no longer diabetic ( not cured but resolved). I don't refuse activity. I still do not go to a gym. It just isn't me. I walk around where I work and in my nieghborhood. I walk anywhere from 2- 5 miles a day just in most of my daily activities. The point is that I can do it now. I'll send you my phone number if you want to talk. Aime

Hi Jane, I have research lap band surgery for 2 years or more.  I have seen two doctors and was schedule to have surgery on the 27th of June 2007.  Well needless to say I stopped the surgery.  This is not to say I will never have the weight loss surgery, but 5 days ago, something just did not feel right for me.  All I can say is pray on it and God will let you know what to do.  Peace

Hi Jane, I haven't had the surgery yet, and if I said I was worry free it would be a lie. Its the alternatives that have been nagging at me. Co-morbidities lurk closer than ever, and faced with the choice of Diabetes, hyper tension, and weight gain, the surgery just wins out for me. In the 3 years I've been seriously researching WLS, the procedures have gotten much safer. Information is power, don't let ignorance talk you out of this.  Have you been to any support group meetings?  Mark

I took over 5 years to decide the surgury was the answer for me so I well understand where you are coming from.  My suggestion go to the seminar;  find a support group you can sit in on.  I have been to two so far and have left feeling that Yes this is the answer to

my problem.  I have high bloodpressure, diabetes, sleepapnea and thyroid problems.  I want to be around for a while so my surgury is set for next Thursday:  am I nervous? Hell YES but I have faith in God that this is his plan for me,  Take care

Hi Jane, I don't have too much more to offer apart from what others have said.  My story is similar.  I had some fears, there are serious risks taken when one has surgery of any kind and this one was elective.  However, I knew that the benefits far outweighed the risks.  I tried for 7+ years to get approval to have the surgery.  We moved a lot with the military and with every new doctor and new duty station, I tried once again to get my PCM to ask for surgery.  I know that it all came together in God's timing when He wanted it to happen for me.  I guess the one piece of advise I can give is to consider how losing even 1/2 of what you need to lose will improve your health.  True you do not have any guarantees, but with WLS you will lose a considerable amount of weight and that has to be a good thing.  Even if you never reach your goal, your health will be improved some even if not 100%.  In the end only you can determine if this is the right way for you to go.  Follow your heart.  The presence of peace about the surgery does not mean you won't have any concerns or fears.  It means you are realistic about the risks involved and that you know the outcome may not be entirely what you want.   I wish you all the best in whatever decision you make.  Keep working at the diet and I will join you in praying for guidance and peace of mind.   Hugs, Robin

Jane,      You and I must be on the same wave length.      I too am not 100% sure that this is what I want to do.  I have been seeing a nutrionist, had my psych evaluation (which I did pass), keeping records of what I eat and attending support groups.      Listening to the stories and seeing the results are amazing to me.  But am I convinced that this for me?  Yes and no.        Don't give in to that little guy/gal sitting on your shoulder whispering those negative thoughts.  Occasionally, I have to knock my little guy/gal upside the head and tell it to go away.      The only suggestion I can make is to go forward with the seminar and learn all that you can.  I will bet that if you ask each and every one that has had the surgery if they had any reservations about having it, they will tell you that they did.