overwhelmed but happy

I am  so excited! I now have a date JULY 17th. It made me cry.  But out of joy.I have to have my husband go to the doctors to sign a release form. He is not supportive at all.  Which really hurts me. Is there someone else who can sign. Like maybe a parent. I am looking forward to the other side of all this.

 Bonnie, Wow, that is like 5 weeks away.  You are gonna be a LOSER !!!!  I'm doing a happy  for you! I'm not sure about the release part.  I would think that you would sign your own release, but if your hubby is really stubborn about it ask the doctor's office who else might sign. Best wishes for an uneventful surgery and a very speedy recovery! Hugs, Mo

Congrats on your surgery date. You will be a loser soon. Sorry to hear your husband isnt being supportive. Reall you should talk to him because after you will need his support to help you through recovery. I couldnt have done it without mine. Keep us posted

Thank you so much. I am hoping he warms up to the idea. This is for better health. I dont know what makes him feel this way. But he is the love of my life. It may take a little time to soak in. Hopefully not more than a month. lol

We have the same surgeon, my surgery was on 5/15. He is going to want your husband to be there.  I took my only adult brother and one aunt with me to sign the release.  I am not married and I was asked very detailed questions before deciding who to bring.(My mom is deceased, father is missing in action, and my daugther is 3 years old)  My aunt is always listed as my emergency contact but my brother signed the release becasue he is technically the person who can legally sign a release stating he understands the potential complications of the surgery.   My brother and aunt were both skeptical about the surgery and at one point my brother said he wouldn't go to the appointment becasue he didn't want me to do it.  Well, he went (I used my  influence as his older sister to get him to go) and was glad he went.  He learned a lot and was confident in Dr. Roe.  The meeting will be very informative for your husband.  A lot of people are anti wls becasue they are uneducated about the process and benefits.   IMO you need your husbands support, regardless of what Dr. Roe says.  But rest assured, the doctor is great and will answer all questions and help you through this. Shawnette

I have no clue who or why you need a signed release form from your husband or anyone else. I sure am glad I didn't need it or I would still be sitting here at 252 plus lbs.  1. I would refuse to submit to such an archaic practice. 2. I am an adult. I work for a living. I am the principle insurer. 3. I have no husband and won't be getting one again in this lifetime. I'm sorry, but reading this makes me so angry. I would go back and ask what the purpose of this release serves.  Aime

I'm with Aime.  This is 2007 for crying out loud.  Although my husband was VERY supportive, this was MY decision, MY body, MY surgery.   I cannot imagine why your surgeon needs your husband's permission to do the surgery.  

Wow, I'm not sure why someone other than the patient signing a release is necessary.  I suppose he's trying to cover himself in case something happens, but it seems to me (I am a lawyer) that if you're mentally competent (and I am assuming you are), someone else's signature isn't necessary.  At least legally necessary. My DH isn't really that keen on this either, but I think he understands why I believe it's necessary, and he does want me to live long enough to raise our daughter, now 5, to adulthood.  So that'll do for now.  I'm not sure how good he'll be about picking up the slack while I'm down for the count, but I seriously doubt he'll do anything to sabotage my weight loss efforts.

I was upset. I am an adult, its my body. What if he said he wasnt going to sign. Then what would I do. It makes me mad that my decision relies on him. That is a crock!

Bonnie, that's a great question.  Please keep in mind here that I am not acting as an attorney here, but simply using the benefit of my training to think through your question. I don't think there's anything in the legal realm that your husband could do to stop your surgeon from operating on you.  You're a competent person of legal age.  Even if your husband were to try, I cannot imagine that any court in Maryland would issue an order stopping the surgery.  Maryland is a fairly progressive state and our courts here are sensible!  It seems to me that the abortion cases (a woman's right to her own body) would cover this issue. Now, whether your surgeon would agree to press on without your husband's approval is a different ball of wax.  I think he probably could refuse to operate on you.  I've had a surgeon turn me down for gall bladder surgery because I was too fat.  They can pick and choose their patients.  If I were in your shoes, besides showing DH the door (this is not marriage advice ), I would immediately contact my insurance company to let them know what was happening, arrange for a second opinion surgeon and go with him.  That might delay your surgery, but it wouldn't stop it. Now, if your husband is the holder of the insurance policy .... that would be an interesting wrinkle, because he might be the presumptive guarantor of all expenses not covered by the insurance, especially if you're not working. If you can, please tell us what exactly is his objection.  Mine was worried about complications, and frankly, about my dying as a result of the surgery, rather than 15 years from now from complications of diabetes or a heart attack.  (Among other things that drove me to consider this procedure, I just lost an uncle, age 64 and 400 lbs., to complications of diabetes.  I could see the future and it wasn't pretty.)  Mine got on the internet and focused on the horror stories.  Once I researched surgeons and settled on Dr. Schweitzer (who is reputedly fantastic) and met with him and learned that I was a good candidate and lower risk than many people, DH's concerns dissipated somewhat.  He's seen me through a couple of other surgeries and knows I handled them fine.  So, if you feel comfortable sharing, is it concern that he might lose you through the surgery ... or that'll it'll be more money out of pocket than you can comfortably manage right now ... or is he afraid the new skinny woman you'll be won't be the same person?