Needing to vent...hope it is ok to do here!

I am very tired of all the negativity around WLS that I am getting from most people. I can truly understand why alot of people do not tell anyone about getting surgery prior to it. I get questions like this: Are you sure you want to do this? What made you decide to do this? Have you throughly checked out the doctor? Have you talked to many others who have had it? Do you really want to change your anatomy? Are you going to be happy not going out to eat like you do now? Do you know that alot of people gain the weight back? Arrrrrg........Nobody has walked around in this body for the last 25 years. None of those people sleep with a c-pap at night...half of them don't even know what a c-pap is. None of those people have had 2 total knee replacements. None of those people have the depression and feelings of failure that I carry around every day of my life. I have decided today that this is entirely my own decision. Not anyone elses. If I die on the operating table, I knew the risk when I got on there. I feel it is worth the risk,,,yes, even with the risk of complications. I have researched, prayed and have been in contact with you guys for awhile now. I am letting God guide me and I believe He is guiding me to this surgery. Sorry this is so long and negative but I just had another conversation with someone about it. I am giving up the expectation that everyone will think I am making the right decision,.because, IT IS THE RIGHT DECISION FOR ME!!!!! Love you all.....your WLS friend, Gail

Awh, Gail I am so sorry you feel this way. I think that a lot of people only go by what they here or read in papers about the WLS instead of looking into it themselves. I don't tell anyone, but hey I am on here and anyone can find me.. I chose this just like yourself. My own mother is like you don't need it. Why? I think because almost my whole family is overweight and most of it started as a child. I choose differently, I choose this surgery, and I choose to be here with all the supporters like you and me..

Gail, I am so sorry this is the reaction that you are getting. And I also think we must be twins seperated at birth -- we have the same comorbidities -- knee replacements, apnea, etc! So far I've only told my husband (super supportive no matter what), my closest friend (ditto), and my boss (ditto, ditto!). I'm afraid to tell anyone else, even my mother, because of those reactions. Especially my mother (who weighs like 102 soaking wet)! I decided I would try to look at it this way if I do get negativity -- I'm going to just assume they are negative because 1) they care about me, and 2) are ignorant of the benefits of the surgery and need to be educated. You are right, it is the right decision for YOU as you are in charge of your life and health. And you can count on me to listen or vent and be supportive (all at the same time -- that's multi-tasking!) anytime you need it. Have some virtual hugs (my girlfriend and I call them "poor baby's" as in, do you need a poor baby? whenever one of us is upset). HUGS, Nancy

gail, you go girl no body can tell you how you feel. i have the same feelings as you as feeling like a failure. i really haven't gotten any negative feed back except from my bf. but he knows why i am doing it so he will support me. everyone else seems to wish me luck, even though some ask me why i made this decision. don't let these people get you down just smile and say i want to be healthy and it is my decision. good luck. tammy

Gail This is why I get fumed about the negativity the media shows about wls. People get these thoughts in there heads that we cant eat normal anymore or that we are going to change after wls. We are doing this to better ourselves and live long with the ones we love. You do not have to tell anyone the reasons or even that you are having it. The ones that stand by your side are all that matters and dont let anyone discourage you from it. My thing was if i die on the table atleast I was doing something to save me and not just killing myself being obese. We are behind you 100%

People can be insensitive because they just don't know that facts!! Sorry you have had to experience that! Try to surround yourself with those you know support you!! I've been fortunate to have very supprtive family friend and co-workers. Like you said, you know your body and what yu have been through, and very few of us go into this lightly! Stay encouraged!! You are making a great choice for improving your life and the negative people will see that soon enough!! Lisa

Hi Gail, I'm glad to hear you're keeping a positive attitude. Prior to my surgery, I had reached the same conclusion as you - that it was worth the risk and if I died on the table or as a result of complications, it would be worth the risk. Just do what you need to do and once they see that you're having success and you're healthier and losing/lost weight, they won't have too much negative to say about it! Take Care, Terry

You hit the nail on the head. This is YOUR decision. Go for it!!! Aime

Gail, I just read your post and thought"Oh my God, she could be me (or I could be you)". I have told a few friends at work and one of them has really made me question my decision. And even though my husband says he will stand by me, I'm not even sure of him. But I'm with you. I sleep with the cpap. Hate it! My knees give out. I can barely do stairs. In fact, a few months ago we had a fire drill at work. I work on the 13th floor (lucky me!) and I "died" on the 11th floor. Me and some poor man with a walking cast and cane died together. I make light of it, but it scares me to death? I feel old, useless, unworthy...I could go on. So thanks for letting me vent. Like you, this is ultimately my decision and I will do what is best for me. Thanks for listening, April