Happy Hump Day Everybody!

Good Morning Everybody! Happy Hump Day! I know I've been MIA here lately and I apologize. Work has been a real bear and life in general has been busy, busy, busy. I'm hoping things will slow down a bit, but I don't see any end in sight. We're working on a proposal at work so I'm expected to work on that in addition to my normal duties I'm trying to get myself organized around my house because I had previously found myself falling into procrastination (I never used to be that way a long time ago) and I want to get back out that habit. I think it goes along with the depression that morbidly obese people experience (to varying degrees) and the feelings of helplessness. It's like the problem is so big you don't know where to attack it so you do nothing. I'm no longer depressed and I'm working on the emotional/getting in touch with my feelings aspect of this whole obesity/weight loss thing, but I find the procrastination hanging on. At least I'm aware of it and taking steps to eliminate it. Speaking of the emotional aspect of this whole obesity thing, since I got my appetite back at around 9-10 months post op, I have, at times, struggled with "head hunger" or occasional grazing/just eating to be eating. I have recently discovered that I think I have a handle on this for now (although I know it will rear it's head again because I'm an emotional eater), but for the first time in my life, I feel almost "normal". I'm working really hard to not eat out of boredom or to fill some emotion that I'm feeling. When I go to eat something I contstantly lask myself "Are you hungry? Is this the best food choice for you? Is there a better food choice available? Are you really thirsty and just think you're hungry?" When I was at M&T Bank Stadium for that trainwreck of a Football game this past Saturday, I didn't eat a thing. They had no good food choices. I had eaten a snack an hour or so before I went so I wasn't hungry really. When I discovered they had no real good alternatives, I plunked down my $4.00 for a bottle of water (twice) and was happy and content. I am realizing more and more (for the first time in my life) that enjoyment out of life is not all about eating. Don't get me wrong, I still love eating and still love different tastes, etc.. In all honesty, I find that when I drink all that I'm supposed to (which is most days), I'm really not THAT hungry, even when I'm supposed to eat. I haven't lost any more weight, but I'm hopeful that I'll lose a few more pounds before my lower body lift in May. So, now that I've bored you all with this, what's up in your world? How goes the eating, fluids, supplements, protein and exercise? I'm doing great on everything but the darn exercise. I'm hopeful that within the next week I'll see my way clear to get back to the gym. On top of everything else, McMom has to go in for yet another surgery They are going to remove the temporary implant/tissue expander to allow her to heal. She just is not healing completely (despite me pushing protein on her at every turn) and the doctor doesn't want to prolong this. Once she's fully healed, they'll go back in and place a new tissue expander/implant. She'll have her surgery next Friday, January 26th. Prayers and good thoughts are most appreciated! I am so looking forward to our tea outing on the 28th! McMom may now be iffy for that, but she's been known to bounce back pretty quickly, so we'll see. Have a Wonderful Day! Take Care, Terry

Good Morning Terry It has been a busy busy week I'm with you on that. Sorry to hear about your mom. I bet all these surgerys are becoming a pain for her. Prayers to her for an uneventful surgery and speedy recovery. Can't wait to meet some new faces at tea. I'm with you on the gym thing. I am going to join one this week. I worked part time at a gym but things happened and they let me go (long story, I'll spare you the details) I'm starting my own home daycare. Well Now I do not have a gym so I am ready to workout it is driving me crazy. So hubby told me to go join one this week. So I'm gonna go looking. Most likely Golds gym cause it's like 2 minutes from my house and they have a ladies section. Well hope you have a great day and see you at the Tea party. Kelly

Good morning Terry I am so with you on the work thing! We FINALLY got the upgrade in this weekend, and went ahead knowing we had a few major problems (though not show stoppers), then as would be expected, we have run into some other unanticipated issues so right now things are in minor mayhem. The underlying functionality is all the same, but the screens have a different look and touch/feel to them so the clerical staff is in a panic. I've got a whole set of responsibilites that kick in with the legislative session as well, and we have a new guy in charge with new 'rules' so until I get into the swing with how he wants things done and his style, I'll be stressed on that level as well. PLUS, I have the other project that I'm working on pulling together and that sort of falls by the wayside because other things come up, and I can't let that happen. AND this office is overrun with food, and I find myself picking at things as I walk by. I need to stop that. My abdominal area has been feeling punky for a bit now and I wonder if it is a form of dumping because of eating junk. I'm going to make an effort to stop picking at the candy when I pass it and see if I can't shake this tummy thing. That might help with the weight issue as well. Yesterday was a 5 a.m. day for the strength circuit. I've got my bag in the truck to go do cardio tonight, then 5 a.m. tomorrow again. I might or might not do cardio tomorrow night or Friday, then I'll have my cardio and strength on Saturday a.m. as usual. I am really enjoying the gym, so I hope that I don't get off track. Will be thinking about McMom and her surgery ! Hope she bounces back quickly. Hugs, Mo

GM - Well, it sounds like everyone's been hit by the work tsunami!!! Including me - I found out yesterday that the Colonel wants me to work at the Annapolis office every Friday through the end of the legislative session. Yay! It's right around the corner from Mo's office, so maybe once I get my feet on the ground there, she and I will be able to have lunch. You know, it's funny, not haha, but I keep waiting for someone to call my bluff and realize that I really don't have my act together!! Well, if they haven't figured it out after 22 years, I guess I'm safe. I just hate change, and although it's only for one day a week, I'm a little uptight about it. It really has nothing to do with my competence or lack thereof, they just need somebody there. The Supervisor is ticked, she said it'll leave everything in this office on her, but I'm a little confused as Fridays are traditionally dead up here and the only thing I see is that it will leave her less time to socialize/bs with her friends down the hall. She may actually have to work at her desk - horrors!!!! Oh, well, I wasn't given a choice, so I need to make the best of it!!! Maybe it'll rejuvenate me a little! Although I'm NOT looking forward to the drive - instead of having a 40 mile round trip, it'll be 80 miles. Hopefully, there will be some sort of compensation. Such is life! I am SO sorry that McMom's going to have to endure yet another surgery! Gosh, she's been through so much. Hopefully, this will be the ticket for her complete recovery. Of course, her other, other daughter will be thinking of her!!! Take care, and hopefully, we can catch up this weekend. KB & I may be going bowling on Saturday - if we do, I'll let you know. Glad you've got a handle on the eating - I'm seeing my wonderful therapist again today after work - it's like talking with a girlfriend - except that I pay her and she doesn't provide wine!!!! Smoochies, Tia

Hi Terry. I am sorry to hear about McMom's next surgery. But hopefully this will allow her to heal completely so they can get the next one to accomplish what needs to be done. You are both in my prayers. I saw my NUT today. She is pleased with my weight loss and the fact that I didn't gain weight over the holiday's. I talked to her about my eating the past few weeks though. I feel like I HAVE to eat some kind of sweet and/or salty food EVERY day. I know that I am not doing terribly but I have 25 more lbs to lose and eating the way I have been won't get me there. She asked me why I was eating like that. I don't really know. I think that I just got it into my head that I can have a bit here and there and not get sick and it has just gotten out of control. I told her that for 6-9 months I had really great habits and I didn't understand why the old habits came back so easily. She said that the old habits will always be right around the corner and that I have to guard against them all the time. That sucks! When do the new/good habits become the old habits? Anyway, we talked about how I need to just grit my teeth the next few days and not eat anything sweet/salty (like chips or crackers) to break the cycle and then I won't WANT to eat the stuff anymore. So, I am sitting here trying hard to not eat the crackers in my desk. I have kiwi fruit to eat and I am loving it so I think that'll get me over the sweet hump. I have come too far to go back now. I am happy with my current weight/size although I have a goal in mind and really, really want to achieve it. For the first time in my life, I really feel like I CAN reach my goal. I know that I would be happy here where I am at but I don't want to stay here because a slight slide in the wrong direction from here is too scary to think about. Where as a slight slide from my goal weight is manageable and something I know I can overcome. So I am going to white-knuckle it this week and really get back to better food choices and avoid the other stuff like the plague! I am also going to try journaling when I am in one of those "I've gotta have..." moods. I think that might help me. I don't have time for that at work but I can try to do that at home and see if it helps me. I went to BootCamp at Curves last night. It was really good. I am so glad I went and I am looking forward to the next one. Have a great evening. Hugs, Robin