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My mom died - emotional eating

ka rt
on 1/8/07 8:15 pm - White Marsh, MD
My mother died unexpectedly this past Saturday. While the grief has been raw and I have numbed a bit- I am finding myself eating more than usual- and needing to vomit at least one a day because I have eaten too much too fast. I don't bring everything back up but just enough so I am not uncomfortable with something stuck in my throat. I am not really worried about weight gain at this point. It's just the reality that I have been an emotional eater at times has "hit home" for me. My mom's viewing is today so I will most likely be recounting my weight loss journey to dozens of people and relatives that have not seen me over the past year or more. I am honestly not looking forward to having that repeat conversation with so many. My sister who is morbidly obese told me everyone is going to be comparing the two of us- saying why is she thin (me) and she (my sister) so fat. My sister states its because my insurance pays for the WLS and hers does not. There is more to the decision for WLS than finances as most of us know. I am nauseous just thinking about all of this---or maybe I feel sick as I just finished eating too many potato chips with veggie dip at 7am... I am not sure how to politely ask or request people not keep asking me about me and my weight loss when its my mother's time to be honored and remembered. Please send me a few extra angels if you can spare or share them, Thanks for listening Karen
(deactivated member)
on 1/8/07 8:45 pm - Crofton, MD
Karen so sory for your loss. My mother is my best friend and I can't begin to imagine what you are feeling right now. I am sending hugs and prayers your way. I'm sure people will not be comparing your sister and you during the funeral. It's a time to reflect on the memories and life of your mother and if you do not want to talk about it over and over just let them know right now you do not want to talk about it but later after all is over would love to catch up with them and share your joy of your wls journey. Good luck and many prayers for you today Kelly
Gail K.
on 1/8/07 8:46 pm - Parkton, MD
((((Dear Karen)))) I am so sorry for your loss. I will pray that you can get through this time without the stress of people wanting to know about your weightloss. Gail
mo21012
on 1/8/07 9:36 pm - Anne Arundel County, MD
Karen, I'm sorry to hear of your loss. There are no words that will make it better or easier. Take your time to grieve and don't beat yourself up over the food, but also be mindful that in the long run it's not going to help to eat. Hugs, Mo
Rae Smiles
on 1/8/07 10:37 pm - Mount Airy, MD
Hi Karen, I feel your pain....I lost my mom on November 8th. My older sister did have WLS too...she is still obese. I told only my immediate family about the WLS...of course, my WLS sister coudn't wait to tell everyone.....also, was giving excuses of why she hasn't lost as much weight, etc...btw, she had her wls before me...like almost a year... I am at goal, she isn't...which has led her to be critical of my eating choices, etc. Anwyay, everytime someone would give me a compliment about my weight loss, I said...thank you....then I would change the subject to them.... Thank you for coming...MOm always loved spending time with you...blah blah blah...you get the message... Also, remember....sometimes we react to getting compliments becasuse we are not comfortable with the compliments....and that is me sometimes... But I would HIGHLY recommend practicing a response...thank you...I feel good, or whatever you are comfortable with...then change the subject to them and their relationship with your Mom.... It worked for me....maybe it will work for you too.... I am thinking about you...trust me when I tell you that it is a VERY stressful time. In fact, I had the doc prescribe a little anti-anxiety med to me...first time in my life...but it has really helped me. Hugs, RAE
telsll
on 1/9/07 7:17 am - Lusby, MD
Karen, I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't stand to even think about losing my mother or father. Hopefully everyone will remember why they are there, and not even bring up the subject of weight loss. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers. TraciL
Cira S.
on 1/9/07 11:49 am - Charles Town , WV
Karen, I am so very sorry for your loss. I can relate with you since I lost my Mom on 9/18/03 but if feels like just yesterday. ((((((((((hugs))))))))) Rae suggested an awesome way to get people focused on your Mom's passing and not your wls. Please know that I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Try to curb your emotional eating with getting your busy doing something for yourself, your family. (I know easier said than done) I am sorry! Hugs, Cira
Aime B.
on 1/9/07 6:36 pm - Baltimore, MD
No words will really help right now. Take care of yourself. You need to focus on you and no one else. My parayers are with you, sweetie. Aime
(deactivated member)
on 1/9/07 9:28 pm - Middle River, MD
Oh, Karen, I am sooooo sorry! My thoughts and prayers are with you. Try not to beat yourself up too much about your eating habits. You'll get back on track. Let us know if you need anything! Tia
Tina325
on 1/9/07 11:07 pm - Shady Side, MD
I am sorry for your loss. My mom passed August 23, 2005 and it was a very hard thing for me to go through. I lost my dad when I was 17 and my brother died 2003 and I lost my fiance's dad in 2004, he was like a dad to me. I know what it feels like to feel that kind of grief. It will be a rollercoaster and it will be hard battling the food to comfort you, but it will not make you feel any better to eat alot. You already know that. Don't beat yourself up over the eating. I am sending prayers your way. Tina
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