Any Advice on helping kids cope with Mom's surgery?

HI All, I haven't posted in a while but wanted all to know that my surgery is scheduled for 1/26. I am excited and time just won't move fast enough! I know it will come but, well who can blame me for being impatient! I am a little concerned about my kids. May daughter is only 4 and she doesn't really know what surgery is. I'm not as worried about her as I am about my son. Peter is 9 and a very bright and sensitive boy. He is already expressing alot of worry and fear that I may not come through. I just keep reassuring him that Mom is going to be fine and much better a few months down the road. I have also tried to explain to him that Mom is at much more risk doing nothiing and remaining as she is. I am being honest with him but I'm afraid I am relying on prayer and faith that he will be ok and not too upset when I finally go in. I know I am doing the right thing for me and my family. I will be a much better Mom when I'm not carrying so much weight and I get some energy back. His Dad is very supportive with my decision and is spending time with him and reassuring him as well. Anyway, does anyone have any ideas that could help? Does anyone have children that have gone through this with Mom or Dad? Thanksl!

Hi Debbie, No ideas here, but want to wish you the best on your WLS journey. Hugs, Mo

I would check out your local library. Ask the children's librarian if there are any books about surgery. They may have some that will help you out on this topic.

Hi Debbie and congratulations on our upcoming surgery. I would call your surgeon's office and see if one day you can go there with your son and tour the hospital. Have them show him were you will be after the surgery and where he can visit you and meet some of the nurses and staff that will be taking care of you while you stay in the hospital. And maybe he can meet your surgeon. I do not have children but I am a nanny and the kids are 2 and 5 and Connor the 5 year old has had surgery before so it was a little easy for his parents to tell him what I was going away for a month for. But call your hospital or surgeon and see what they can do. Good luck with your surgery and keep us posted Kelly

Congratulations on your upcoming surgery. I am sorry your son is concerned. It is normal for him to be scared. The good this is that you and your husband are both re assuring him that everything is going to be alright. I would definitely try to give him a little tour of the hospital and take him to your pre-op appt so he can be a part of it. Once he sees that he is a part of it all he will be more relaxed. Best Wishes! Cira

Hi debbie, I am a mother of a 12 year old boy and it bothered me daily the impact this would cause on him. I decided to tell him the truth and let him know that if anything did happen to me what my wishes were of him and that I will always be with him, it is very hard to do but it is something that is needed to be done. My son was worried and cried when I went in but once he saw me awake he knew I was going to be ok. Today he doesnt even remember how afraid he was he just sees his mom getting smaller and experiencing so many "first" together that it was all worth it. I wouldnt take this decision back for anything I am thankful for my life back, and my son is too! I wish you the best of luck on your surgery and a speedy recovery. God bless.

Debbie. I have a 4 and 2 year old and struggled with this as well. Not so much for the 2 year old, but I wanted to tell my eldest why I was having this surgery and why I couldn't lift her up for awhile. Basically told her that I wanted my tummy to be smaller so I could do more with her. She was able to handle that and I frequently had to show her my scar and assure her that I'm feeling much better now. No advice on the 9 year old per se, but just wanted you to not ignore your youngin either. -Daniel

Thank you all so much for the wonderful advice.I don't know what I would do without this support network!!!!!!!