any ideas

my name is devin johnson. i had my surgery 3 years ago. i lost over 330 lbs since then. I found that the surgery itself and the program was the really easy part of the process but its my self confidence that has gone the opposite. I felt more confident in who i was physically when i was bigger than i do now. it sounds weird i know but that the only way i can describe. along with that is that i dont have anymore confidence in speaking to women than i had before. yes im smaller but i'm insecure about the loose skin. I can talk to anyone about anytging but cant "talk" to women if you understand what i mean. I physically feel better than ever. I'ver succeeded more in my professional life because i have the energy to devote to it and i can put in the overtime do all the things i wanted to do at work but couldnt due to my size. but i continue to find it really hard to get my personal life on track. im trying online dating but im still insecure about putting my picture up lol. i live in baltimore md and i was thinking of trying to find other single women who have had the surgery or just people who wouldnt mind befriended a still static insecure young man from baltimore. love to hear your ideas. devin

Hello Devin I am sorry you are having insecurity issues. I can imagine what you are going through. I am fairly new here so I really don't have must of advice. But maybe the single ladies and gentlemens on the forum might probably meet at some point if not someone definitely come up with a one night out of the month to meet and talk. Wishing you the best. Cira

Although I'm not active on it, ObesityHelp has a WLS Singles forum. You might try posting there, and seeing what insight you can gain from them. I've been working with online dating (which I was not doing before the weight loss), and have found that with the weight loss, I felt much better about posting a photo -- something I would never have done before the weight loss. Good luck.

Hi Devin, First, congratulations on your weight loss - that's terrific!! I can sort of relate to what you're saying. I'm not a shy person, but when it comes to talking to men I sort of clam up. I had very little self confidence when it came to dating prior to WLS. Prior to WLS I used to think it was my weight that kept me from having someone in my life, now that I've lost weight, I realize that it probably wasn't the weight after all. I have somewhat more confidence now, but I find that I still don't have someone special in my life. I don't have a line of men at my door wanting to get to know me. I try to think of what I'm doing to "not attract" members of the opposite sex and I have no answers. Don't feel as though you're the only insecure WLS patient out there....we're all in this together You should feel proud of your weight loss and should not judge yourself based on what is left (the skin issue). Any woman (or man) who truly cares for a WLS patient won't care about the skin. Take Care, Terry