Delurking with a few questions

I am considering the surgery. I will be self pay. Does anyone know a good surgeon with reasonable prices? Also, do you still have a wait time and have to jump through hoops before you have the surgery, or is that just due to insurance? I am scared to death of everything but the outcome of the surgery. How do you get passed those feelings and do you ever really feel normal? I am mourning the loss of eating already. I assume you are pretty much back to "normal" after about a year. Any advice would be appreciated. I live in the Elkridge, Md area. Thanks

Hi Wanda, I did not have to self pay so I am not sure if it is any easier to get through the process. I would imagine that the surgeons would still want you to see a nutritionist and maybe even a psych eval. The purpose of these is partly to determine if you are a good candidate for the surgery. Questions like will you really be committed, are you mentally stable, can you handle the "diet" initially following surgery. Stuff like that. They are for insurance as well but not entirely. I am 6 months out and feel pretty "normal". I have a few things that I have to avoid or I pay the price but overall I do very well with meat and veggies. I can even eat really good cuts of steak. My portions are still small but they are getting bigger. I feel that some things that have happened since surgery will be like that the rest of my life, such as intolerance for milk or the problems I have with carbs/sugar. I don't mind those problems because they will keep me away from the stuff that will pack the weight back onto me if I am not careful. I also plan on the weight loss sticking for the rest of my life! Good luck with your journey. Let us know what you decide. Hugs, Robin

Hi Wanda, I'll apologize in advance for length of this post, but I didn't want to not address the things you were asking about. I think, as a self pay, you are saved the requirements of the insurance company (i.e., six month (or whatever is defined) supervised weight loss program). I believe any reputable surgeon will require you to have a physical and whatever other medical tests he deems necessary to prove you're healthy enough for surgery (in most cases this involves, but may not be limited to: complete physical, cardiac clearance, gall bladder sonogram, etc. I believe that most doctors do have different pay structures for self pay. The important thing is you need to find a surgeon you feel comfortable with. I know there are several great surgeons in the area. I highly recommend my doctor (and his partner). They are at St. Agnes which is not too far from you. Although I knew about the risks prior to surgery, I kind of overlooked them. I knew the risks and I was ready to accept the fact that I could die. I figured if I didn't do anything (surgery) I could be dead in 5 years or maybe 10 years and the quality of my life wasn't anywhere near where I wanted it to be. I just maintained a positive attitude and prayed alot (and had others praying for me) and I have had a complication free surgery/recovery. I am now 14 months post op and I've lost 129lbs. I still have some more work to do, but I am very pleased about the outcome. Do I ever feel normal? Well....yes and no. Yes I feel normal in that it is great to no longer be a slave to food (in the amount of food I can eat). I do not feel normal in another way because there are many days where I still struggle with the psychological part of eating - sometimes I struggle with snacking (grazing) and eating out of boredom (head hunger). It has often been quoted here that they operate on your stomach, not your head - oh how true. Most days I do great and I'm able to get by without eating something that is not healthy for me. There are times where I purposely indulge (and that's okay, that's the exception for me, not the rule). Prior to surgery I often binged on food and ate huge portions frequently so in regard to that, this tool I have now keeps me on the straight and narrow. I always watch what I eat and try to make healthy choices now. My mantra is "protein, protein, protein". I have never counted calories or been too worried about fats (although my surgeon's office promotes a low fat diet) and I don't know whether I dump on sugar or extremely high fat foods because I've never eaten that much to find out. I don't want to know if I dum*****t because if I don't, I don't want to psych myself out by giving myself permission to eat things that may not be the healthiest choice for me. I don't mean to make it sound like I'm eating a high fat diet, I'm not...I just choose to make my focus the amount of protein that I eat in a day, not the other things that could be measured (i.e., calories and fats). Mourning food is hard. There have been a few times since my surgery (maybe 3) where I wished that I could physically eat more because it was so good. Other than that, I was so ready for this surgery. I don't miss food. I didn't even feel real hunger until about 9-10 months post op. I only ate because it was time and I knew I needed to eat. I now try to approach it that I'm eating to live, not living to eat. I don't know if anything I've said here will help you. There is alot of good information on this site and lots of friendly, helpful folks. Just make sure you take your time and make the best decision for you Don't hesitate to ask questions, we're all in this together Take Care, Terry

HI Wanda, I was self-pay!!! My husband, who is SUCH a GREAT guy, put a positive spin on the whole self-pay issue... Yes, we had to pay 25,500 for it...but...I got to pick my surgeon...no in-coverage, out-of-coverage to worry about...I interviewed several surgeons and picked the one that made the most sense to me...was about a 3 hour drive away in Pennsylvania BUT....I am SO happy that it worked out the way it did... On mourning the loss of food...I can understand that....if you have some time to be semi-bored, read my profile.... There will be folks who will disagree with my experience...obviously we all have different experiences, but for me, pre-op WAS SO MUCH HARDER than post-op...before WLS I was nervous, afraid, impatient, etc...you get the idea... After surgery I could concentrate on REAL things....my scar, actually eating, etc...before surgery most everything is what I GONNA do, where after surgery I actually GOT TO DO THINGS...not sure if I am explaining clearly.... Also, I am 2.5 years out....I DO NOT MISS ANY FOODS...there are very few foods that I don't eat...I eat a very balanced diet....meat, fruit, veggies, etc...yes, I do eat carbs...but always WITH a protein. Early on, you do need to be extra careful with your eating habits....make those early rules into habits..no drinking with meals, etc....those rules can serve you for the rest of your life... Your fears are not uncommon and you need to get to a place where you are as comfortable as you can be... Having WLS was one of the smartest things I have ever done FOR ME. Best wishes to you on your journey, RAE