so discouraged

I want to cry.  Last April I joined this site courtesy of Rainyone and I just went on a change-my-life spree.  I didn't qualify for surgery here in Winnipeg because at my highest I was BMI of 56.  So last spring I decided that if Winnipeg won't change to help me, I will change to fit Winnipeg's criteria and help myself.  I felt SO awesome and in 3 1/2 months I lost 42 pounds for a total of 66 pounds down from highest.

I had changed my diet to reflect what I saw on the VSG main board to what most sleevers eat post op with the understanding that my quantities would be much higher.  I averaged 900-1100 calories per day, protein first and some veggies.  I felt amazing, had more energy and felt like I could conquer the world.  In May, I got a call from Edmonton Weight Wise program to say I'd be accepted there and had my first appointment in early July.  I was given *major* grief over the fact that I didn't eat carbohydrates/grains.  I was advised that I was to be eating a balanced meal of 40% carbs, 30% protein and 30% fat.  Grains are my nemesis and just fuel a bad food spiral.  Plus I was told that I could not eat less than 1200 calories per day.  So it became really easy to eat **** at the end of the day to up my calories and before long it became eating candy or chocolate before bed. 

When I went back to Edmonton in September I was up 17 lbs.  So they canceled me seeing the surgeon at my next appointment and said that I need to show I can get back under 300 lbs before I can move forward.  Well, I am back up to 337.  I do give myself some compassion as October/November and part of December have been spent in a major depression requiring a medication change.

So my problem is that I know what I need to do but I can't seem to get the motivation to do it.  After 3 weeks of my mood being better I just want to sit and cry.  Realistically I know most of you have sat in my seat, in the dump of chocolate wrappers and empty chip bags.  I just don't know what to do.

I feel your pain I have like you said sat in your chair many times. I finally gave up on Manitoba and Drs in general and took my life into my own hands and went to Mexico. I must say it has been the most empowering thing I have ever done for myself.

The best advice I can say is love yourself, look into a mirror into your eyes and see how beautiful you are and remember God does not create junk and know you can move on from where you are one minute, one second at a time. Get busy clean a closet or/start journaling, remember at the end of the day write down 5 things you are thankful for and before you know it there will be 10 things you are greatful for.

YOU ARE BEAUTFUL embrass it.

I feel so bad for you. I'm not sure why Edmonton would be upset with you having lower carb intake as many people who are not trying to lose weight eat like this. I too feel better for taking wheat out of my diet and I'm sure my carb count is lower as well. Reactions like what you experienced is why people lie to Dr's and health care workers.

Go back to what worked for you, and perhaps you will qualify for the program here soon if you are on the waiting list for expanded criteria. Take baby steps to get back on track and please don't beat yourself up. I feel bad that Edmonton wasn't more supportive for you and praise you for your hard work.

Message me anytime if you need to talk. I have been there and am still struggling to get the last 5 pounds off to qualify for Winnipeg. I have felt so frustrated and angry at times as it makes no sense to me that we want help to fix our weight and ultimately our lives and we get no help.

Hang in there - things will get better.

 

Karen

You know you can do this. You've done it before , you can do it again. I have to admit dieting pre surgery is way harder then after surgery. The tool of the sleeve/ds/rmy really helps.

You know you can control things with lower carbs. Go back to that. If you need to tell Edmonton  that it seems to be the only thing that works for you. After surgery you can always do it their way but until then - your diet, your body - you decide. The carb monster really gets me too. I find I lose way better when they are limited.

This is exactly why you need this incredible tool..we have all been where you are Im sure and if it was so easy to take it off and keep it off, none of us would need this surgery! You can do this..you have before and you can again. We are all here to help you..feel the power in numbers!

i would do what really works for you. if increasing your grains does you no favours, don't do it. i would go ahead and eat their caloric recommendations but stay away from trigger foods. its SO hard to stay on track when you're looking down the barrel of a sugar-coated gun..