Not too sure how to respond

I work half time in alberta and half time in MB. I am home at Xmas for a few weeks and I think I will make it to a meeting. When are they generally held?

we usually try to make them work for those who are coming from out of town.we are having one tomorrow night.the first [art of the meeting is for those who are in the manitoba program at the vic,then we usually continue the meeting at smittys after for those who have gone or going through a different program to have the surgery.let us know when you are around and we can usually make something work.we are pretty flexible on dates and time

No matter how you go about weight loss, when there is a significant amount of it people seem to feel they have the right to comment on it.  Why is that??  I know a woman who had the surgery and has had great success.  I met a friend of mine recently who also knows this woman but doesn't know she had surgery, just that she has lost a significant amount of weight.  Her comments about "she's lost it too fast" and "she's lost too much" just sounded like jealousy to me.  Why wouldn't you just be happy for the person who has worked hard to lose that weight and get healthier?  I just smiled and made comments about how nice it must be for her and how happy I am for her etc.  But couldn't believe the negativity for something that should be so positive.

Long and short of it is that people will have their opinions.  Everyone on this forum knows that this surgery is NOT the easy way out - - it is a decision made after years of struggling with weight  and worry over health issues.  And surgery alone is not the answer - you still have to make changes in your lifestyle but this surgery helps give you a tool that accelerates the process and puts the end in sight a little faster, helping to eliminate some of the hopelessness and discouragement we have all experienced with situations like losing and gaining and same three pounds over a month of dieting.

Ultimately it is no one's business but your own, but the unfortunate part is that people will try to make it their business.  Some are well-meaning and just want to give you a positive acknowledgement that "hey you are looking great so congrats" and some will want to know your secret because they also struggle with their weight, and some will want to know just because they are nosy.  Everyone who comments on it to you will have their own motivation for doing so.  It is obviously most comfortable to respond truthfully to someone who has your best interests at heart.

I suspect your comfort level with this will grow as time goes on and you are feeling better about how you look and positive about the outcome of the surgery.  I think the solution of telling only what you want people to know is a good one - - yes there will be lifestyle and diet changes and if that is all you want to share, then that is absolutely fair - - the people who count most to you will be the ones you will share the whole truth with and that makes sense!

So much to wrap our heads around with weight issues . . . . . .

Congrats on the impending surgery date!  I am happy for you.

thank you for your reply and words of encouragment

I just found it easier to tell everyone.  I don't like having to explain to people all the time either about, what type of surgery I had and how its going.  I just told everyone and hope they don't bug me .  Haven't had any problems so far.      One year ago I didn't even know what a duodenal switch was - now I have one and am down 88lbs.    lots of people don't even know what the different types of surgeries are, everyone seems to think you get your stomach stapled and thats it.  lack of information is the biggest problem people have.  Barb 

Totally agree with you. I think the DS is the most misunderstood wls out there.  I think if more people heard about it they would consider it. I actually thought about it myself. I was hoping I didn't need the malabsorbtion at all but if I did I knew I wanted DS not RNY. It's not for everyone but such an interesting surgery. I'm glad you are one of the few manitobans out there with it and you are educating people about it.  I bet your dr's and nuts don't even know much about it ! you have to stay on top of the research 

You're right my doctor doesn't have a clue about the ds she always tells me not to eat fatty foods, LOL.  (I need them, also high protein and low carb)  I have found it is best to keep net carbs around 50 or lower for weight loss mode.  My nut has a better understanding of it thank god.  She at least did some research on it.  My doctor still hasn't.    What time does the meeting at the vic end incase I decide to go to smittys to meet everyone else.  I do have to go to wpg so maybe I will make the trip in for the coffee meeting??

Obviously your Dr doesn't understand carbs as to keep carbs under 50 is very hard. My son is on a modified atkins diet/ketogenic diet and his carbs need to be under 40 and it is very challenging to make meals for him some days. No potatoes, corn, turnips pasta, only brown rice and certain breads and even then we are talking 1/2 slice or cup only. I am glad that your nutritionist did some research.

I have only told a few people about wanting to go for surgery and for the most part they have been very supportive. There are a couple of people I won't tell as they will judge and think I took the "easy way out" but I have gotten to the point that I don't really care what they think, they are so negative and drain my energy.

People can come off very rude when they ask questions and I've learned that sometimes they aren't sure how to ask. We adopted a child at 17 months who is blind. Alot of people would ask about his birth family and we shared openly with family and friends but to others I simply ask "Why do you need to know?" Obviously if he is adopted then for some reason he couldn't be with his birth family. My minister told me to try that to throw them off as they have a special needs child much older than mine and that was what they did.