Not too sure how to respond

So I was told I should have my date in about 3 or so months.

I'm mega excited.

But i'm a mega private person.

I know that the weight will come off fairly quickly, and I need suggestions on how to respond to people if they question me.

I am also a terrible liar.

My mother always said "if you don't lie, you'll never have to remember anything".  But I understand your reluctance to share this personal and private decision with others. It opens you up for criticism and debate.

 It took me a long time to tell a few, started with good friends and very very slowly widen that circle..... and I always ask them not to say anything to anyone as I am having a hard time adjusting.  I have found though that it is VERY liberating to tell some.  I have yet to come across any negativity (at least out loud).  Giving up numbers was really what cut the cord for me,  before this past year not even my husband of 24 years knew my weight.  It was a more closely guarded secret than Obama's cell phone.  But once I did open up on my weight, starting here, it was easier to explain to people why I felt I needed this for my health and they would say "oh you look great you don't need that"  and I would say flat out "I weigh 285 lbs - there is nothing healthy about that"  It was kinda funny to see how shocked some people were (God bless them) but don't ru****  I am glad I told some before surgery because when I went back to work, it was very obvious and I didn't have to deal with too many questions.  My coworkers do think it is fun to watch me eat now lol,  they say I eat like a barbie.  Love it!

I do have a standard answer for those I don't want to discuss this with, they say "you look great, have you lost weight?" and I firmly say "thank you, I feel great" and ask them about Christmas, summer holidays, whatever but totally steer the conversation away and then excuse myself.

thank you for the advice.

i think i am going to role play so it because easier - just say that i have had some lifestyle changes or something

this is what i told everyone.

i did not say i had surgery

i told them thast i changed my eating habits(true)i cut out all sweets,pop and junk.i do not eat many carbs if possible and i go to the gym

theses statements are all true but i just kept out that i had a RNY.

i live in a small town so i didnt want everyone to know.i told a few people but for the most part its a diet change.some of the people took what i said about the diet and its working for them too so that further shows what i said was true.

i hope this helps

sondra

I feel the same way as you. To this day only my husband and my brother know I had surgery. I just had my 1 year anniversary and I'm down 112 lbs.

All I can say is people will want to know. They will want to know cuz they are nosey, they'll want to know cuz they want to lose weight and they will want to know everything regardless.

They way I handled it was I told people I met with a dietician (true) and I've changed my eating habits (true again). Sometimes, depending on the person this would be good enough, some not. So if they asked more I would say I'm eating high protein and smaller portions (once again true). Usually this would be good enough for those wanting a bit more info. On the other hand I had people ask me if I was sick, and others asked if I had cancer. For those people I figure if they can be rude and ask something like that I don't have to give more than an answer of "no!".

Honestly, you will find some people geniunely happy for you and your success and others will not be so happy for you and will wait for your failure.

I dont worry about what people say anymore and I just focus the positive.

Good luck to you!

I started by telling some people I see regularly. Family , friends and my close co workers. Wasn't sure I was going to post it on fb, or tell everyone. On my way down to mexico for the surgery I said" screw it" and posted it on fb.  I started telling everyone.  It was surprising how supportive almost everyone was.  I had a few comments and "easy way out" stuff. I used the opportunity to educate lol.

I know someone who had the surgery and is now talking about how well she is doing on body by vi. Seems like such a deceptive thing to do.  It doesn't help that I totally don't believe in body by vi - it's a scam and filled with gross and potentially dangerous soy protein isolate ( bleck) but I don't think you should be using the success from surgery to make money.

I have told the world.  Its so much easier for me to be open.  I cant lie either.  I was coming around a corner at work and the emerg manager who has never spoke to me before said "you look great,so thin, what have you been doing" and without missing a beat I said Id had, gastric bypass and kept going!  I knew I was going to tell a few people and I decided that why risk getting the info wrong if they told someone so I took it upon myself to share my plans and my journey.  I correct them when they get my procedure wrong and mix up all the issues/complications, but they have been tremendous support.

I did the same as some of you. Those close to me, and even strangers, I've told as I don't think there should be the stigma of having surgery. The more we talk about, the more it will be accepted or help dispel the myths we all have heard people spout off about (okay, at least that's what *I* think). My co-workers, I have not lied to. I have cut out most carbs, soda pop, and junk food. I do eat high protein, and many small meals instead of 3 large ones. I work out at the gym. Like Newfie99999 I just leave out the surgery part. Remember, the surgery is only one tool in our arsenal now - we're leading healthier lives overall!

I am afraid I will be judged if I am open about the surgery - i feel a little like faliure that i haven't had success on my own, and I know that some people will view it that way as well.

Those I care about know about it - my husband, mom, my favorite aunt. I am not really connected to anybody at work.  I will take your  ladies advice and mention the lifestyle changes and skip the surgery part

amyred27,

only tell people what you are comfortable telling them.its your body and life.people are people and will think what they want to think.atleast you have told a few people so you can openly talk to them about what is happening.

i really hope you will come out to the meet and greets so you can have others to talk to and answer your questions and concerns.