Feeling guilty

I bumped into a client in the grocery store yesterday and she didn't recognize me right of***** in to the studio this morning and checked my fb and this is the message she left me last night.

... hey Carmen, standing in my kitchen; thinking of you & just gotta tell you again how terrific you looked! Wow, so proud of you! I can barely lose 5lbs, so how you lost over 50 doesn't even compute for me! Anyways, way to go! Keep up the great work. What you've done is fabulous! /ev

When she asked what I was doing I said oh....moving more and eating less.  Eating protein first at meals and then veggies and reduced my carb intake.  Also doing healthy planned snacks.  But now I feel guilty that I didn't tell her the whole truth.  Now this is a lady who if we nit picked may want to lose 15 lbs. after having 2 children, so it's not even in the same realm as what I have to lose, but I still feel a bit untruthful.  Just had to get that off my chest.

I don't think you should feel guilty. You are doing all the things you said . I don't think you need to share the fact that you had WLS unless you want to.
Take the compliment and be proud of yourself. You may inspire her to make some changes to her diet. You are doing great on your weight loss journey.

Karen

I am feeling your pain here but mine is with the people in my office.  there are 2 ladies that I don't really want to know about it just yet, they don't even know I will  be off next month for 6 weeks.  Which is fine but one of them is having bladder surgery in Dec and is quite open about it and I feel pressure (from myself) to include them in my "surgery talk"  I just don't want to deal with their opinioins just yet as I have heard them about others at our worksite who have had VSG.

so right now I am feeling guilty for not being honest and sharing ...... I feel your pain. 

I definitely am with you on this! Its the ones that arent close enough for me to tell yet have known me for a long time at my highest weight..now all of a sudden it looks like I got my stuff together and just dropped the weight???  Kinda makes me feel dishonest but when I think of the negative comments they would make regarding wls, it brings me back to why I didnt tell them. If they find out sometime down the road from someone, so be it. When you think of it though, Im sure there are alot of people who aren't completely honest about things in their life as well when they chat with others. Im with you on this one Alle!

Alle - - I totally understand the natural desire to be honest about this, but you have to consider your own feelings first and whether you want this information "out there" or not.

People will all have opinions whether they know you have wls or not.  I ran into a woman the other day and we have a mutual acquaintance who I KNOW has had wls.  The woman I was chatting with did not have this information.  Her comments were things like . . .. "she lost it too fast." . . . . "she's lost too much". . . . etc etc. .  Some people just have to rain on other people's parade.  I went home shaking my head and thinking that it was too bad she couldn't just be happy for the person who had lost the weight and not be such a "negative Nelly".

Just enjoy how you are feeling about your weight loss with no obligation to anyone other than yourself. 

Strange that  I feel exactly the opposite. Perhaps when my surgery actually comes round, things will be different but for now, I plan to tell people exactly what I went through, the wait time and the struggle and in full detail about the surgery.
I have fought and been treated for depression in the past and I am open about that as well. The misconceptions about mental illness are staggering. By NOT talking about it, I keep those misconceptions alive.
I feel judged already because of my weight. There is as much misunderstanding about obesity as about mental illness. "My 600 Pound Life" parades super morbidly obese people like the old-fashioned freak shows with little in the way of true understanding being promoted.
I feel that if I am an advocate for the surgery, I can help people understand and that perhaps the people who follow me will not have the same issues. Why would I hide the surgery? I certainly can't hide the fat.
I realize it is a personal choice, but I  can't help but think the "Negative Nellys" operate from a standpoint of simply not knowing any better. 
I am an obese person and if I knew somebody who dropped weight quickly (a lot of weight) and didn't know about surgery I would be CONCERNED, not negative. We all know that fast weight loss, in most cases is NOT healthy. It usually means an extreme fad diet or illness.
Each choice is up to the individual and it is not up to me to try to influence anybody. I do believe this is a forum to express our opinions and beliefs and so I felt the need to weigh in with mine.
You must do what feels best for you.
Perhaps I have been a teacher for too long but I feel education is important. I am tired of feeling shame.

Cricket - 

I am with you...I told only 3 or 4 people before I had my surgery that I was going, but once I had noticeable weight loss that people asked about, I was up-front telling them that I'd had weight loss surgery. I haven't had one negative comment from anyone who I've told and most people have been excited for me more than anything. If they talk about it behind my back, oh well. 

I went to a funeral yesterday with a friend (another friend's father died at age 93). I haven't seen her for several months. She told me after I told her about the surgery that when she first saw me she had been afraid I was sick or that there was some bad reason for my weight loss and she had almost been afraid to mention it.

For me, this is something good that is improving my health, my outlook on life and how I feel about myself. It isn't something that I want to hide or be less than truthful about to people who inquire about it. This is obviously a very personal choice that each person has to decide on their own.