I need help. BADLY!

Hi.

I'm new, but not quite new. I've been following this board for awhile and post the occassional message.

My problem is that I'm sinking more & more in to a mass depression over this surgery, that it's consuming my life! 

I don't have $15,000 or access to that kind of money to have the surgery done anywhere, quicker.  And I just found out from ST. B that the wait time went from 1 year (less than a month ago) to about 20 months!  I broke down in tears!!! I don't even have my approval yet, they're so far behind that other than Andrea telling me she has my referral, I know nothing.  Hell, 12 months was depressing enough... now 20?

I have so much joint pain in my knees and am constantly walking on stress fractures with my feet, that I don't know how much more I can take!  My doctor can't do anything else for me other than send me to bone specialists, which find nothing other than my weight being a factor.  I can't exercise because of the pain.  And, because of the depression, I don't seem to care about what I eat.  My problem is not how much I eat, just what I eat... and portion size control.  I'm not a potato chip/chocolate bar eater... my weakness is pasta, potatoes, cream sauces... you know what I mean. right?

I just can't handle this any more.  I'm reaching a boiling point! Fast!

I'm sure alot of you went or are going through the same thing?  Any words of encouragement, recommendations?

I really need help right now with this and felt you are all the right people to reach out to.  A shrink is NOT what I need.  I need those who care and have experienced what I'm feeling.

Thanks everyone.

I hear you on the wait time and know how you feel! I too feel overwhelmed and sometimes get depressed thinking about the wait times but I think if you hang in there it will come!  I think about it everyday, but try to focus on how my life will change afterwards! I got my approval letter in Oct. so it has been almost 4months and that time has gone so fast. I have yet to get  a date for anything.  I'm hoping mabye sometime in the spring..... Hang in there and take care and it'll happen!

I'm sure most of the people here have felt how you're feeling at one time or another.  In the big picture of things,whether it be a 12 month or 20 month wait it's really not that bad.  Before the surgery was offered here, a friend of mine had to wait 4 years to go and have it done in Medicine Hat.    The surgeons have your referral and it's all in their hands now.  I'm sure within the next 8 - 12 months the ball will start rolling and once it does the time goes by very fast. 

Although sometimes difficult, I do believe an opitimistic attitude makes all the difference.  Try not to let food be your crutch in the coming months while you wait to hear from the surgeons.  You don't want to gain weight during this time as that may just put the surgery back another month or two if you are asked to lose the weight before proceeding forward in the program.

From start to fini**** will be a 14 month wait time for me.  Looking back now, the time has gone quickly.  Keep your chin up, the end result will be worth the wait. 

My time from beginning to end has been 13 months. It really truly does go by fast. I spent the last year focusing on whatever was going on in my life at the time and tried to put this whole process to the back burner and sure enough the distractions worked. It feels like just yesterday my doctor was sending in the referral and now my surgery is scheduled for February 27th. Hang in there it will happen for you too. Keep smiling and stay away from the enemy (food). That will just prolong the process.

Hi TJLJ 

I really feel for you.  Hang in there!!    I have a similar problem with food...I ate way too much of whatever it was I was eating and feeling down was a trigger.  Unfortunately I was a potato chip/chocolate bar, etc., etc., eater (along with lots of other high cal, high fat, sugary foods).  (I can say that in past tense because I'm on my two weeks preop diet.)

I am going to Mexico for VSG surgery in less than two weeks.  I know you said you don't have access to $15,000 to have the surgery quicker, but my surgery is costing me about $8000 including air fare (great seat sale) (which may have changed; I signed an agreement not to tell the price I'm paying!)  This is at a Bariatric Centre of Excellence. That may be just as much out of your reach as $15,000, if you're like most of us, but I am borrowing the money.  There are medical loan companies that deal with loans just for medical procedures.  Maybe that's not an option for you either, but it can't hurt to check it out.  I've been told that for most people who pay for the surgery, their loan payments are less than what they would have spent for food, so it evens out pretty quickly.

Once I made my mind up to do this, I wasn't willing to wait a year or 18 months. 

Have you tried knee braces for your knee pain?  Manitoba Health pays up to just under $800 if they are prescribed by a doctor...coincidentally exactly how much the one my husband got cost.
Unfortunately if you also have foot issues, that might limit what you can do anyway, but having less pain would be a good thing. 

You really should tell your doctor if you are feeling depressed and get him to prescribe you medication.  I've been on antidepressants in the past and they do help.  If you feel better, maybe that will help you not to eat as much.   

Anyway, THE END...I ramble when I start writing. Best of luck!!

 The time flies by-a week short of 13 months for me.  I am 1 day post op anditseemslikeI was referred yesterday.  Hang in there.
kj

Hold on, my dear, hold on.  Please take it day by day.  One foot in front of the other.  I understand how you feel.  I understand the spiralling state of depression and the effect it has on you.  Go and get help first.  Before you can tackle the big hurdle of "the wait", please consider going to talk to a counsellor, or going on antidepressants.  We all have been in this position at some point in our journey.  Do not give up.  You can do this.  One step at a time and the other steps "will" fall into place.  Start by just baby steps, increasing your protein, walk for 10 min every day, think positive thoughts.  You can do this!
I wish you well my friend.  Don't ever think you are alone, we have all been there. I wish you peace and perseverence on your journey.
God Bless!

keep your chin up your weight is really not that bad i had to weight almost 3 years i had my suregry in edmonton and it seems forever i just wish i would have done this earlier in my life because of the weight but now wih surgry done im down 104 pounds and feel great and take care of your depression now because that may put up a red flag because this is a life long thing the surgrey will help you lose weight but not forever and you have to control yourself if you read some of the other post people at a year out are not losing weight because they are not making the rite choices i choose not to eat any bread no pasta and no potatos so basically very little carbs not to say that this is foreveryone but i dont miss it didnt really care for carbs and dropped the soft drinks was very hard but you have to do   good luck in your process

I am at the exact same place as you but I am taking the attitude that 20 months is liveable and not so diferent from what I was told a month ago. A month ago I was told that it would be 12 months until I saw the doctor and then about 4-6 months till surgery. All told about 18 months.
Now I am being told 6-7 months till surgery, so...19-20 months.
Treat the depression, I am fresh out of a battle with my latest bout and I can tell you it makes the world of difference. That has to be your first step.
I don't know about your BMI but if it is too high you will need to lose weight to be a candidate for surgery. I believe it needs to be under 47, but there are folks here who can tell us that for certain.
I would suggest staying far, far away from U Weightloss. I firmly believe that their program and supplements messed up what was left of an already shaky metabolism. I had always managed to stay at around 180-185 until U Weightloss. My weight actually jumped 6 pounds in one week, following the program and it cost a small fortune.
I plan on using the time to read up on the surgery and my life afterward. I know this is not going to be a magic bullet and I will never get back to the weight I was in my 20s and 30s but I hope I can learn to manage myself and not feel like this al the time.
I will be thrilled if I can take off enough to manage my back pain, high blood pressure and cholesterol.
The next 20 months are going to be spent in getting ready for the battle to get my life back. I believe what I hear on here all the time, the time will fly by.