Advice

So I have only told 3 friends about my surgery. I have not told my parents, siblings, my kids or even my boyfriend. Is this something I should be discussing with them before I go ahead with it? or can I hide it well. I feel dissappointed in myself for not being able to do it on my own that is probably why I have told not to many people. My sister had her stomach stabled 25 years ago and she told my parents, but for some reason I cannot bring myself to say anything. My family Dr. thinks I should tell my boyfriend because he will be helpful but says I don't need to tell anyone else.  Opinions please.

Oh my Lord.  I told everyone Sue.  I was at the point where I ACCEPTED, this is out of my hands and I need extreme measures to help me lose weight.  I was ok with whatever opinions anyone had.  And believe me there were plenty.  I don't care.  I am doing this for me.  Either you support me or you don't, it was really that easy.  I was actually very excited to educate people on this newer procedure and I think may have motivated others to go and get referrals.  This has been a very, very positive experience thus far, and I am glad I shared it with my family, friends and co-workers.  Good Luck with whatever you decide.  Cheers!

That's such a hard call. I'm in the same position as you are. I have only told my husband (who is extremely supportive) and my dad (who's in the medical field and is also very supportive) and a psychologist I've been seeing to help deal with self-esteem issues. I don't think I'll tell any of my friends, siblings or co-workers. We need to fly my mother-in-law out to help with the kids during my surgery/recovery time and we're debating what to tell her. I know people will start to wonder when I start shedding the pounds, but hopefully they'll just think I finally succeeded at a diet. I know it's a lie, but I have the same feelings as you...slightly embarrassed that it's come to this.

I only told a handful of people before my surgery. My best friend and sister in law, and two other best friends who live in an other province. I didn't tell my parents, I am an only child. LOL They would have worried themselves sick anyways. My mother is still worrying and I am almost 3 most post-op. I did tell more people after though, since I am dropping weight quickly. They were making comments all the time, so I had to throw them a bone..I told some straight out about the surgery. Others, I have told I eat small amounts during the day while paying close attention to protein first..they can do what ever they want with that info.

Truly, I did this for myself. I have no one to answer to for my decision, my husband and kids have been awesome(for the most part..lol) I am VERY happy with my choice. I am kinda a let the chips fall where they may kinda girl, I let things happen how they wanted to.

Now when people ask how much I have lost, I just say..LOTS!  it's personal after all..what does it help for "normies" to know how much I lost, except to let them know just how BIG I actually was..LOL

I would say tell your boyfriend, he is closest to you and if you don't tell him and you lose a lot or weight he may feel left out or misled?..that's not the word I want but my head is full of screaming kids..hahaha! Also your kids, depending on their ages, if they live with you then I would tell them too. :)

Good Luck, you will figure it out!

I'm the opposite.  My name has only been refered to the surgeon and a surgery date isn't even on the radar scale and I've already told many close family and friends.  So far I've heard nothing but positive comments, perhaps it's because those closest to me have been witness to my life-long battle of the bulge.  And should anyone have any negative comments, I would suggest to walk a mile in my shoes.  For me this is not a quick fix or easy way out, it's a new beginning for a much healthier me. 

Amen Lori!  Hope you get your date soon.

I told my friends and family. I had been waiting to get this surgery for over 10 years so when I made the decision to finally get it done, I was bursting at the seams with excitement. I got many positive reactions and a few negative. To the nay sayers I just tried to ignore them and remember what a great healthy choice that I was making for myself. It is my dream come true. Good luck to you.

I would suggest telling people that need to know who you will need support from.  I told my family and a few friends but not the whole world.  It is a personal decision but you will need support and help afterwards so be sure to inform those that you help from.

Good luck!

Keith

Thanks everyone. You have given me a lot of good advise. I am a very private person and I think that is part of the reason I don't want to sa anything. I don't want people to make a fus over me at all. I like to be left alone so I can recover on my own. Also the embarassed part has a lot to do with it. Like I say my sister had her stomach stabled 25 years ago and she told everyone. My sister in law had breast implants...she only told a few of us.....but after it was done she told everybody. So I will stick to telling the people I need to. My 22 and 19 year old daughters and my boyfriend...not sure if my 10 and 12 year old sons are old enough. If I can get up the courage....my mom. My 3 friends, one who had this done in Mexico, are all very supportive already. And my Dr is very supportive. Thank you everyone for you great support.

Sue

I too have told no one in the exception of my husband and the folks on this site. I don't think
I'm hiding it, it's personal and I have never made my private issues public to others. I'm not ashamed of it, if fact I'm proud of myself for finally dealing with it. So it's a real personal decsion to tell or not to....Maybe when I'm sleeved I'll yell it from the roof tops!!