First Family Function

Good Morning Mayers, I need some advice. This Sunday, one of my Aunts is having us over for a Father's Day Dinner. My Grandmother (eagle eyed & Sassy) will be there as well as a bunch of other Aunts and Uncles. Here's my problem... No one knows I had sugery. I've had dinner out with neighbors and friends. I just tell them I'm dieting to explain my selections and portions. THIS WILL NOT WORK WITH MY FAMILY.... I'm sure you know the type... Eat, Eat... whassa matta.. you don't like my cooking?.... Are you sick?... Are you dying?... Oh my God Mary... She must have the big "C".... (stop laughing... it's not funny) Anyway... big turkey spread and I'm going to grab a piece of dark meat and pic****il I have what I image to be 2-3 ounces. I'm very motivated to stick with this program. I need to loose my excess weight for multiple reasons. Any words of wisdom to help field the harrassment? Kate Z 313/285/130

You could like and say you had a bout of diarreah the night before so you are taking it easy. Or you could throw yourself into the kitchen to help-help getting the elders and children's plates and maybee no one will notice. Remember to put yourself first--don't eat something you shouldn't due to peer pressure. YOU ARE #1. Joan

hi ive had this situation a few times since surgery 9 weeks ago. what i have done is put the food on my plate and pick at it,then when i have had enough i just pick up my plate and discreetly dump the rest in the trash. while eating i compliment the cook and mmmmm this is sooo good,oh this is soo great....ect, noone has ever noticed that i dont eat much anymore. my mom and husband are the only people in my family who know about my surgery. my mom says nobody has ever said anything to her about the way i eat now. i was very concerned about this before but now i just play the game and pretend that im taking in alot more than i am and its working. good luck nadine 280/235/1??

At my first family function it was quite obvious that I had lost a lot of weight. In 4 weeks I have lost 55 pounds. So I couldnt hide that. Everyone seemed so delighted at my weight loss, it seemed like the right time to spill the beans and told everyone of my experience with the WLS. They seemed more excited that I was healthier and looking better than that I had kept it from them. I just explained that I didnt want them to have to worry about me until I was sure I was okay, and they were fine with that. Now they are all cheering me on. So just feel things out that day and see how you feel. It might be just the right time to let the cat out of the bag. Love and hugs, Laura from Ohio

Hi Kate! We must be related to the same people! I told very few people about my WLS because I consider my health to be a private matter and it irks me that some of my relatives LOVE to gossip A year before I even considered surgery, my mom was chatting with a woman whose son went to elementary school with me. Mom told me all about this poor guy's weight issues, rolls of fat, fat pad hitting his knees, and his attempts to start a swimming program because he was too fat to do anything else. My heart ached for the poor guy and I was sickened to think that his struggle with weight loss was a topic for idle gossip by uninvolved people. His privacy was soooo violated!!! Needless to say, my mom got NO info on me! However, I still need to explain my weight loss to her. I explain my weight loss and loss of appetite by telling people, quite honestly, that my gall bladder was in bad shape so I had to modify my eating. I just leave out the surgery part since it is no one else's business. The gall bladder is a good excuse since it's serious enough to explain the weight loss and appetite change but not serious enough to alarm relatives that you are on death's door!! Dave 318/195/185

Dear Dave, I lucked out... My Aunts are both on diets so I was off the hook. My teenagers ate enough for all of us... I had to sit and pick while my Aunts pulled apart my cousin (300+) and her husband (400+). One lovely Auntie commented that "Jim" (400+) was looking into "berrytrick surgery" and how he has no willpower so it won't work. "Just another easy fix". Needless to say, it wasnt the time to drop the bomb. My children just gave me the look that said "leave it alone Mom" and grinned into their plates.... You and I have similar starting points. My BMI was over 51 because I'm relatively short. I'm shooting for 125 but will be happy for anything under 150. Thanks for the "gallbladder" idea. I wouldn't have used it because my Uncles have both had problems in that area and I couldn't come up with the right symptoms. Plus, I stink at lying. (good thing I guess).... Thanks to everone for their support. Kate Z 313/275/125 (38 lbs in the first month)