Can you share with me????
Hi Friends, first let me thank you all for being so helpful to me in my journey. It's hard to imagine that it's been almost 4 years since my surgery! I have been developing a lecture regarding the insensitivity of the public towards the obese. I am doing this for several reasons.....to educate healthcare workers, to lobby for obesity discrimination to be prohibited by the ADA, to educate the public at large to the plight of this last socially acceptable bastion of open and rampant discrimination, etc. Right now all I have to go on is my own experience and I was wondering if you could help me to help others by sharing your experiences with me. I know it might be painful but maybe with all of us putting forth an effort it will be worth it in the end. I'll go first and share one of my most hurtful experiences. When I weighed 263 I interviewed for a job as a receptionist at a popular radio station. Because it was for a receptionist position, the interviews were all done over the phone. You mailed or faxed in your resume and then everything was done over the phone so they could evaluate your phone skills and dealing with the public. I made it all the way down to the final two applicants and was invited in for a meeting with the president. Even at 263 pounds I took great pains with my appearance and fixed my hair and makeup and wore nice, professional clothing. I arrived at the office and saw that the other applicant was a tiny lady who was very pretty. When the president came out he literally looked at me first and then looked at her. He walked up to me, shook my hand, told me he didn't think they had anything for me and hoped I hadn't been inconvenienced by coming in. He then took the other lady by the hand and ushered her into his office. I almost felt sorry for her. He was practically drooling over her. I left the office in a conflicted mess. I was happy that I didn't have to work for an ignorant man like that. But, I was devastated because he had totally discounted my intelligence and my abilities because I was morbidly obese. I felt worthless. I was too ashamed to tell my family what happened and I lied to them and said I'd had a great interview but he must've like the other lady better. It wasn't until I'd had WLS that I shared this experience with them. The really terrible thing about this is that this scenario and worse is played out over and over each day with morbidly obese individuals. Can you share your experiences with me? I know I'm only one person and I don't expect to change the world but I figure even the mighty oak started out as one little nut. So, this little nut is seeking your help. Thanks again for being a wonderful, supportive WLS family!
Hugs,
Rona
Heya
I'm not sure what you want to hear... I have nothing but stories of women who've talked with me, emailed, phone, think I'm an awesome guy (this is after weeks of communication, like an online dating service) only to meet in person and they freak out, or see a picture and decide we aren't going to "work out" ... I dreaded sending anyone I met online through eHarmony.com my picture, or meeting women. Hell I didn't even bother to go out anywhere because of my size.. You know how many times I've heard "You're sooo funny and cute and an awesome guy, and I'd date you in a heartbeat of you lost the weight" .. I mean.. being MO is very damaging to self-esteem.. and even though I've had surgery now and lost 25 lbs or so, and everyone notices some, I still think I'm a horrible fat slob no one would want to touch ... (sigh) ..
Jeff
Hi Rona 
- Thanks for all the hard work you're doing for us. Socially, I can think of a zillion times that people were rude to me due to my size. Okay, I don't know how to put this delicately.....I am a product of immigrant parents. It seems that some people of the same heritage think it's acceptable to tell others of the same heritage how fat they are, what the hell is wrong with us for letting ourselves go, etc. They are usually older people, and I've heard this from women of other ethnicities that their own particular ethnic groups feel it's okay to say that to them. Also, since I was born in the US, there is the other group of people (same ethnicity as myself) not realizing that I speak/understand their language, cutting me down as if I weren't even in their presence. They are always shocked when I say in their language "you're not exactly Princess Diana yourself, honey!" . (They all know who Princess Diana was 
). I'm sure you're aware of all the snickers, noises, stares, etc. and once a 18ish year old man called me a "fat pig" in Taco Bell. Medically, almost every time I go to my OBGYN, he makes them retest my blood pressure because he can't believe that someone as fat as myself can have good blood pressure. It's always good, even when he takes it 
. Also, one time I was seeing a new doctor about an issue TOTALLY unrelated to weight. The new doc and I were sitting across from eachother at her little desk. She didn't even hear what I had to say and wrote "patient is obese" on my chart, not my problem I was having with medication 
. Because I don't work, I don't think I've been the victim of any legal discrimination, etc, but I keep hearing about people who are made to purchase 2 airline seats because of their size. What do you/your organization think about that? Do you think that practice will continue? Good Luck with your research.
Mea 
- Thanks for all the hard work you're doing for us. Socially, I can think of a zillion times that people were rude to me due to my size. Okay, I don't know how to put this delicately.....I am a product of immigrant parents. It seems that some people of the same heritage think it's acceptable to tell others of the same heritage how fat they are, what the hell is wrong with us for letting ourselves go, etc. They are usually older people, and I've heard this from women of other ethnicities that their own particular ethnic groups feel it's okay to say that to them. Also, since I was born in the US, there is the other group of people (same ethnicity as myself) not realizing that I speak/understand their language, cutting me down as if I weren't even in their presence. They are always shocked when I say in their language "you're not exactly Princess Diana yourself, honey!" . (They all know who Princess Diana was ). I'm sure you're aware of all the snickers, noises, stares, etc. and once a 18ish year old man called me a "fat pig" in Taco Bell. Medically, almost every time I go to my OBGYN, he makes them retest my blood pressure because he can't believe that someone as fat as myself can have good blood pressure. It's always good, even when he takes it . Also, one time I was seeing a new doctor about an issue TOTALLY unrelated to weight. The new doc and I were sitting across from eachother at her little desk. She didn't even hear what I had to say and wrote "patient is obese" on my chart, not my problem I was having with medication . Because I don't work, I don't think I've been the victim of any legal discrimination, etc, but I keep hearing about people who are made to purchase 2 airline seats because of their size. What do you/your organization think about that? Do you think that practice will continue? Good Luck with your research.
Mea 
I am not sure what to share. I have had been a part of various situations that I wonder if my weight played a factor. I do believe that my obesity was my fault and developed into a sickness. It is sad that society is accepting of a disease that causes you too be too skinny, but rejects the notion of an eating disorder that can make you too fat.
It is however perplexing to me why a person who is morbidly obese is offended at having to purchase to seats in an airplane. When I was 480 I traveled to FL and purchased a second seat, first of all I would not be all too comfortable and second how selfish and rude would I be to infringe on another passengers space. Should the aiplane eat the cost of the second seat? Why should they?
My personal story involves an addiction to food thank goodness there is a tool that helped me overcome my sickness. When I was 480 I was shocked and offended by the title, Morbidly Obese, I didn't have High blood pressure, but I am sure it was on it's way, my liver was in terrible condition and a mess of aches and pains. It was only after the surgery did I realize when I would eat too much and get sick that I realized the problem was mine.
Hi Chris - The problem I have with us MO being made to purchase 2 airline seats is that I feel others who may take up 2 seats are not made to pay for them. For example, someone who uses an oxygen tank that rests next to them, caused by themselves due to years of smoking, doesn't have to pay. This is not a slam against anyone, just trying to think of an example. I'm sure there are other scenarios as well. Yes, my obesity is my fault, and I own it. However, I have PCOS and was told by my OBGYN that this was also the cause of my gaining weight easily and my inability to lose weight. In fact, his exact words after diagnosing the PCOS were (nicely), "you will never lose any significant amount of weight, and no diet will ever work for you". I don't think any airline would really be interested in listening to my cir****tances . I think the best customer service policy that airlines should use for "people of size" as they call us, is allow us to use the extra seat for free as long as the plane isn't full, or give us the option of waiting for another flight that is less crowded to use the extra seat for free. If we MO don't like those options, then I think we should pay because we were given a choice.
Good Luck to you, I see you're well into your journey 
.
Mea
- The problem I have with us MO being made to purchase 2 airline seats is that I feel others who may take up 2 seats are not made to pay for them. For example, someone who uses an oxygen tank that rests next to them, caused by themselves due to years of smoking, doesn't have to pay. This is not a slam against anyone, just trying to think of an example. I'm sure there are other scenarios as well. Yes, my obesity is my fault, and I own it. However, I have PCOS and was told by my OBGYN that this was also the cause of my gaining weight easily and my inability to lose weight. In fact, his exact words after diagnosing the PCOS were (nicely), "you will never lose any significant amount of weight, and no diet will ever work for you". I don't think any airline would really be interested in listening to my cir****tances . I think the best customer service policy that airlines should use for "people of size" as they call us, is allow us to use the extra seat for free as long as the plane isn't full, or give us the option of waiting for another flight that is less crowded to use the extra seat for free. If we MO don't like those options, then I think we should pay because we were given a choice.
Good Luck to you, I see you're well into your journey .
Mea Most Active
Recent Topics
